BGD 6,437 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 Found out today I'm having a girl All of a sudden, sheer panic overcome me about future boyfriends. With this being my first child I'm just looking for tips on keeping the boys away haha.The first time he visits be sitting at the dinner table in your pants with splashes of deer blood all over you with your guns all lined up sharpening your knives ... when he stutters an hello just look up and ask ... do you like to kill things boy ... I do ...... And you wonder why your son in law didn't want to watch World's Strongest Man with you!! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh_red 4,787 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 the best bit of advice i can give you is DON'T WATCH THE BIRTH. Like watching your favourite pub burn down That has to be my favourite line ive ever read on this site . My only hope is that i remember it to use for myself in a conversation in the future 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh_red 4,787 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 the best bit of advice i can give you is DON'T WATCH THE BIRTH.Like watching your favourite pub burn downI made that mistake, a picture i'll never be able to get out my headMost amazing thing you could ever see ... the life you created being brought into the world ... how could you not be amazed awe inspired and completely overwhelmed with joy ......... Are you taking the piss? I hope not because I agree with you. Maybe i'm soft? I mean every word of that ... truly amazing ...... The actual birth i was fine with . The afterbirth was f***ing disgusting . Took it away on a tray like some sort of minging foreign cuisine . I wasnt prepared for that . Didnt even think about it to be honest . The best noise you will ever hear is when you new new born baby starts crying . The most beautifull thing about the whole birth was looking at my mrs when they handed her the baby. Even though she was drained of energy you could see the glow of happiness on her face . 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barbarian1990 220 Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 put a pic of your mother in law in the local paper and say thats how the line turns out, you shouldnt have to much to bother about after that. Wouldn't work mate she's a rate MILF haha 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 the best bit of advice i can give you is DON'T WATCH THE BIRTH.Like watching your favourite pub burn downI made that mistake, a picture i'll never be able to get out my headMost amazing thing you could ever see ... the life you created being brought into the world ... how could you not be amazed awe inspired and completely overwhelmed with joy ......... Are you taking the piss? I hope not because I agree with you. Maybe i'm soft? I mean every word of that ... truly amazing ...... First off we find out off morton your happy to keep lesser animals than most folk, an now this soppy nonsense haha i want action ken back haha The beauty of childbirth is an amazing spectacle .... and the afterbirth tastes lovely with some colemans and a jug of scrumpy ....... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barbarian1990 220 Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 Found out today I'm having a girl All of a sudden, sheer panic overcome me about future boyfriends. With this being my first child I'm just looking for tips on keeping the boys away haha.Are you having a baby ? Your name is Craig ? Takes two to tango my friend The wife couldn't do it without me. Found out today I'm having a girl All of a sudden, sheer panic overcome me about future boyfriends. With this being my first child I'm just looking for tips on keeping the boys away haha.Are you having a baby ? Your name is Craig ? Takes two to tango my friend The wife couldn't do it without me. Well ,actually she could. But why ,nowadays do men say they're having babies ?[/quote Grow up, your boring me now Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh_red 4,787 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 I know someone who Did the tough guy father thing to his daughters boyfriends and tried making them feel awkward and it only made his daughter not bring blokes back and he didn't know what she was up to. Think with my girl I'm just going to have to trust her and keep a eye . I'm hoping my son who's older will be my eyes and ears on the ground and keep me informed. It's a difficult world to decide who's right or wrong for your little girl . Like many on here theirs people I know who from the outside, the world wouldn't want them anywhere near their daughters . But truth be told their stand up genuine decent guys . Theirs also people who I know as friends who everybody loves and would be happy to be with their girl but you know the inside track of what they get up to at 4am on a Saturday night when the clubs closed. Let nature take its course and just provide the education before and the support after and you should be fine . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 the best bit of advice i can give you is DON'T WATCH THE BIRTH. Like watching your favourite pub burn downI made that mistake, a picture i'll never be able to get out my headMost amazing thing you could ever see ... the life you created being brought into the world ... how could you not be amazed awe inspired and completely overwhelmed with joy ......... Are you taking the piss? I hope not because I agree with you. Maybe i'm soft? I mean every word of that ... truly amazing ...... The actual birth i was fine with . The afterbirth was f***ing disgusting . Took it away on a tray like some sort of minging foreign cuisine . I wasnt prepared for that . Didnt even think about it to be honest . The best noise you will ever hear is when you new new born baby starts crying . The most beautifull thing about the whole birth was looking at my mrs when they handed her the baby. Even though she was drained of energy you could see the glow of happiness on her face . Ive been a my kids births but i stayed up the top end and your right about when the baby crys for the first time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
VOON 1,317 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 Found out today I'm having a girl All of a sudden, sheer panic overcome me about future boyfriends. With this being my first child I'm just looking for tips on keeping the boys away haha. Get them out....teach them independence, right from wrong and Krav Maga..... Let them make their own decisions and live life..... Ooh and try not to think off what her mother was like when you first started courting..... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 Found out today I'm having a girl All of a sudden, sheer panic overcome me about future boyfriends. With this being my first child I'm just looking for tips on keeping the boys away haha. The first time he visits be sitting at the dinner table in your pants with splashes of deer blood all over you with your guns all lined up sharpening your knives ... when he stutters an hello just look up and ask ... do you like to kill things boy ... I do ...... This will definitely work Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tiercel 6,986 Posted January 17, 2017 Report Share Posted January 17, 2017 I have to agree with socks a beautiful moment, which was spoiled by me on the last daughter, by me asking the young doctor who was stitching the wife up "If she could stick a couple of extra stitches in as this was her third." The wife lost the plot and called me everything. TC Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 27,147 Posted January 17, 2017 Report Share Posted January 17, 2017 my daughters 14,,,,cant wait to get her married off.... talk about hormonal teenager,,,,like a female kevin and perry.. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
terryd 8,712 Posted January 17, 2017 Report Share Posted January 17, 2017 Tend to clash with there mums too some times. Often safer in the crate with the dog 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted January 17, 2017 Report Share Posted January 17, 2017 SPOILSPORT Spoilsport my arse I work evenings in a factory & he used to text me at work asking what time I would be back , this went on for about 3 weeks & I soon found out , little sod had been bringing some girl he met at his work back while I was at work ..I found a condom packet on the floor , next time he text me I said ''your nearly out of jonnys'' his reply was ''Mom buy your own'' 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted January 17, 2017 Report Share Posted January 17, 2017 lol brought up a son and daughter Kay! Can laugh about it now but at the time Arggggh! The two are really good kids now with kids of their own,but I would be a liar if I said it was plain sailing! The lack of hair on my head says it all lol ATB 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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