FLATTOP 4,495 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 I've attended a course run by the Samaritans called managing Suicidal contacts and it's all about engaging people to talk it can make a massive difference. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 26,770 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Horrendous experience lansera,really,i am truly sorry to hear that,words arent enough. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted December 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 I live a good 3 hour drive from him and I keep thinking maybe he wanted to talk but didn't think i'd travel that far. Of course I would have. Would that have prevented it? Or just delayed it for a while? Something we'll never know. I think it's not knowing that's the worst part. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jiggy 3,209 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Take the example of somebody in a fit of rage that would do something stupid like get in a fight in a bar or work and lose their job or get arrested or jailed for hurting somebody when normally if they were thinking clearly this would never happen all because of a moment of complete tunnel vision when you forget about consequences. All though depression is the complete oppposite end of the spectrum and people are passive and avoid conflict when your mind is overloaded and clouded your judgement will be affected and also tunnel vision occurs without realising a way out. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 3,994 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Walshie he'd been down with you in the summer , he was calling in March so he knew you where there , you can destroy yourself thinking Ifs Buts & Maybes mate , I'd try & remember the good times You's shared . 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,171 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Lanesra, I have read all sorts of people chopsing off on here as if trying to tell everyone how tough they are.......but I can honestly say I can't even begin to imagine what sort of courage it takes to bare pain like that and come through the other side (and I've seen a few thing myself) .........you sir are a proper chap and IMHO the type of person anyone contemplating suicide should be having a long talk with. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ginger beard 4,652 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 the thing with alot of suicide's is the people that do it are always well thought of with lots of friends.the 2 i know of this year the funerals have been standing room only.so they must have people to talk to if they wanted. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 3,994 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Lanesra, I have read all sorts of people chopsing off on here as if trying to tell everyone how tough they are.......but I can honestly say I can't even begin to imagine what sort of courage it takes to bare pain like that and come through the other side (and I've seen a few thing myself) .........you sir are a proper chap and IMHO the type of person anyone contemplating suicide should be having a long talk with. Wilf I really appreciate your words , I'd say when your in a bad place you need to all rally round to help each other not just as a family but close friends really do help as well even if they don't realise it , I'm not sure how Id of coped with that alone , some people look great on the outside & seem to have it all , then you hear they've took there own life & those around them maybe feel they've let them down but if you don't know there struggling you can't help & as has been said us men think its weak at times to express how you feel & that I'd say is sadly a very common problem . 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squeamish5 309 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 To anyone reading this thread, stuck in your own private 'bleak mid winter', Love and Strength to You. Keep breathing (has to be both in and out) and Believing. Just til tomorrow. XX 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twobob 1,497 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 sorry for your loss walshie and mrs walshie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jiggy 3,209 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) Most piss artists and fraudsters don't give a fcuk who they hurt or let down or don't care who is owed money or if they ever pay their bills but there is a decent minority that take it too much to heart when they let someone down or fall behind. Only the good die young. Edited December 22, 2016 by jiggy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,171 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Meant every word mate, the way I see it yes people around you are a massive help but not withstanding that as a man you sometimes have a lot of people looking to you for strength and you have to have shoulders broad enough for everybody even through you may be wanting to curl up and die inside........for some men, they will face it all in order to make the lives of those they love better and try and heal their hurts. To me, that's a man of courage buddy. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twobob 1,497 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Anyway guys, sorry for bringing the mood down in a week when we should be full of cheer. It's not about him killing himself. It was just about how totally gobsmacked we are. No need to apologies mush, we got to open up about theses things. I am the worlds worst for bottling it up, head down and struggle on tbh ive never known any different since a kid, listening to The Smiths actually cheers me up! LOL Ive changed a little bit these last years as had a few spanners thrown into the works by those youd least expect, nearly too much for a man to take. Men need to talk, its that simple. I hope you find a bit of peace about your friend, maybe one day youll be laughing at him larking about in an inflattable again the likes for the smiths bit it cheers me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
beast 1,884 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 firstly anybody who has been affected by suicide, you have my absolute sympathy. i have been touched by this awful thing on several occasions, and you need to know that there can be all sorts of reasons for a person to take their own life, depression is a blanket word that is used to cover just about every mental illness but it really doesnt mean a lot to say that somebody did it because they were depressed. one relative of mine was only 22, had a beautiful 3 year old son and had just moved into a new flat ended up hanging herself with the baby alone in the flat. my sister in law found her next morning when she didnt come to work. poor girl had basically been hinting for months that she was going to do it but we only really saw this when we looked back. this may sound stupid, but if anyone on here wants to talk, it can be easier to talk to a stranger. call samaritans they are brilliant. or if you want send me a PM, i am good at listening 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jetro 5,349 Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Good on you be beast willing to take the time to talk to someone. You could make all the difference in someones life. As you said sometimes its a lot easier to talk to a stranger than someone you know. Atb j. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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