Chat Up Lines!

[Wxm 1,638]

When you've got a cock like a baby's arm holding an apple

And an arse like a 14 pound sledge hammer

You don't need chat up lines lol

[Wxm 1,638]

[tillylamp 1,830]

that's a good one bud......

[Wxm 1,638]

You: I hope your pussy has pet insurance

Girl: whys that ??

 

You: because it's getting fcuking smashed tonight !

[flipbull 1,139]

Tell her she's got upducks on her shoe, she will lift her foot and reply what's up ducks? Say nothing love was just admiring your calves, barrier broken

[Wxm 1,638]

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[kirstysdad 827]

Have you got a bit of irish in you would you like a bit no good in the pubs in North london as all the girls you ask answered yes another have you ever had your bellybutton licked they usually say yesyou reply from the inside

[lukey 1,621]

You: I hope your pussy has pet insurance

Girl: whys that ??

 

You: because it's getting fcuking smashed tonight !

Change that to "coz I'm going to destroy your pussy"!❤️

[Wxm 1,638]

Ask her "Do you mind if I give you a kiss ..... On the lips ??"

When she puckers up

Say not them lips

[ryaldinhio 4,591]

 

 

 

When I met the wife I walked upto her and said here's a key.. She said go on then what's the cheesy punch line? ... I said there isn't one it's the key to my house I will see you later... And that I did!

Do that around here and you'll be wanking in an empty house...??

They might have felt sorry for me and left me somthing lol the house wasn't known to my mates as "the cave" for nothing ...it was hard times back then I left my ex with a carrier bag I had to start from scratch all over again but it all worked out for the best I've never been in such a happy place as I am now

[ryaldinhio 4,591]

I was thinkin the same....never let a bird stay at mine, every chance wakin up with just the bed left!

 

Also same as Kanny, I moved in a bin bag and never been as happy as I am now.

 

I just used to do my hunting early, when firdt went out go to sober girls in groups pick one of them, quite politely butt in and say hello, Im not going to spoil your night your out with your friends and Im out with mine if you arent spoken for Id like to take you out for something to eat or whatever next week swap No's. Do this to half a dozen v.early on and 99 times out of 100 later in the night atleast one of them would find me. Its amazing what intrigue and booze can do too girls out of ur league!

 

p.s. them days are gone.

[peterhunter86 8,627]

I was thinkin the same....never let a bird stay at mine, every chance wakin up with just the bed left!

Also same as Kanny, I moved in a bin bag and never been as happy as I am now.

I just used to do my hunting early, when firdt went out go to sober girls in groups pick one of them, quite politely butt in and say hello, Im not going to spoil your night your out with your friends and Im out with mine if you arent spoken for Id like to take you out for something to eat or whatever next week swap No's. Do this to half a dozen v.early on and 99 times out of 100 later in the night atleast one of them would find me. Its amazing what intrigue and booze can do too girls out of ur league!

p.s. them days are gone.

 

 

If we were in a nightclub at the end of the night id go around ask every girl i seen and ask them do you want to come back to a party i always found one that said yes

[Wxm 1,638]

 

I was thinkin the same....never let a bird stay at mine, every chance wakin up with just the bed left!

Also same as Kanny, I moved in a bin bag and never been as happy as I am now.

I just used to do my hunting early, when firdt went out go to sober girls in groups pick one of them, quite politely butt in and say hello, Im not going to spoil your night your out with your friends and Im out with mine if you arent spoken for Id like to take you out for something to eat or whatever next week swap No's. Do this to half a dozen v.early on and 99 times out of 100 later in the night atleast one of them would find me. Its amazing what intrigue and booze can do too girls out of ur league!

p.s. them days are gone.

If we were in a nightclub at the end of the night id go around ask every girl i seen and ask them do you want to come back to a party i always found one that said yes

Did they have a look of fright on their face when you arrived at the house of the so called party with no party

[Lab 10,979]

"alright doll, your pretty tidy. Are you fae Jamaica ?"

"No am no, how?"

 

"Cause Jamaican ma boaby hard!"

[peterhunter86 8,627]

 

 

I was thinkin the same....never let a bird stay at mine, every chance wakin up with just the bed left!

Also same as Kanny, I moved in a bin bag and never been as happy as I am now.

I just used to do my hunting early, when firdt went out go to sober girls in groups pick one of them, quite politely butt in and say hello, Im not going to spoil your night your out with your friends and Im out with mine if you arent spoken for Id like to take you out for something to eat or whatever next week swap No's. Do this to half a dozen v.early on and 99 times out of 100 later in the night atleast one of them would find me. Its amazing what intrigue and booze can do too girls out of ur league!

p.s. them days are gone.

If we were in a nightclub at the end of the night id go around ask every girl i seen and ask them do you want to come back to a party i always found one that said yes

Did they have a look of fright on their face when you arrived at the house of the so called party with no party

 

I dont know they would be passed out from the roofie befor we got back