Craic 204 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 Can i borrow your phone number as ive lost mine. Lol my mate pulled a stunning bird with that line.Ive known it to work lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnipper 6,487 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 Met a girl on a night out about 3 years ago she was great too look at but sempt very well to do and came across quite stuck up I'd seen lads all night trying to buy her drinks and even a few of the lads I was out with was telling her how beautiful she was and all the usual bullshit we tell women. After a bit too much to drink I told all the lads that women don't want nice guys and I knew what to do to get her. Obviously they all ripped me and told me try it or shut up. I walked up to her And told her I was going to bum her in my caravan.... we are now married ? I've not lived it down yet though. The question is though did she let you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 When I met the wife I walked upto her and said here's a key.. She said go on then what's the cheesy punch line? ... I said there isn't one it's the key to my house I will see you later... And that I did! Do that around here and you'll be wanking in an empty house...?? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barbarian1990 220 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 Met a girl on a night out about 3 years ago she was great too look at but sempt very well to do and came across quite stuck up I'd seen lads all night trying to buy her drinks and even a few of the lads I was out with was telling her how beautiful she was and all the usual bullshit we tell women. After a bit too much to drink I told all the lads that women don't want nice guys and I knew what to do to get her. Obviously they all ripped me and told me try it or shut up. I walked up to her And told her I was going to bum her in my caravan.... we are now married ? I've not lived it down yet though. The question is though did she let you? Haha well I didn't propose for nothing 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
steg 609 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 What f#cks like a bunny and winks? (When she's deep in thought lads...) ....give her a little wink ? haha 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wales1234 5,542 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 When Iv had a few the boys reckon I'm just verbally abusive to woman I just give them shit all in the love of banter but funny as hell ! I had a few beers last night the bird kept coming over I just played f****d she kept saying I don't like you all the other boys are lovely your a dick by the end of the night she come over and said your my type answer for everything haha really pretty girls don't understand when you slag them off to their face its fuxking hilarious Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 20,639 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 When I met the wife I walked upto her and said here's a key.. She said go on then what's the cheesy punch line? ... I said there isn't one it's the key to my house I will see you later... And that I did! Do that around here and you'll be wanking in an empty house...?? They might have felt sorry for me and left me somthing lol the house wasn't known to my mates as "the cave" for nothing ...it was hard times back then I left my ex with a carrier bag I had to start from scratch all over again but it all worked out for the best I've never been in such a happy place as I am now 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wxm 1,638 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 Ive lost my teddy, will you sleep with me ?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abarrett 462 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 When you've got a cock like a baby's arm holding an apple And an arse like a 14 pound sledge hammer You don't need chat up lines lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wxm 1,638 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 When you've got a cock like a baby's arm holding an apple And an arse like a 14 pound sledge hammer You don't need chat up lines lol All well and good but you haven't said what chap up lines you use ?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 When you've got a cock like a baby's arm holding an apple And an arse like a 14 pound sledge hammer You don't need chat up lines lol Did it hurt first time he shagged you 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silversnake 1,099 Posted August 19, 2016 Report Share Posted August 19, 2016 Hi what's your name? I found worked best for me. A pretty much foolproof one I have had great success with, but only works once a year is HAPPY NEW YEAR! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,416 Posted August 19, 2016 Report Share Posted August 19, 2016 Get yer coat, you've pulled. How do you like yer eggs in the morning ? Usually followed by "unfertilized, now f**k off." And one I actually seen used was a lad asking a girl "Have you got your mother or your fathers eyes ?" She replied "My mothers." He said "Tell your mother she's got beautiful eyes." Don't know what he'd have said if she said she had her fathers eyes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulnix 426 Posted August 19, 2016 Report Share Posted August 19, 2016 Sherbet dredger, Treacle mining, Moldovan royal navy, I put the black bits into Vanilla ice cream, seismic geologist looking to split the moon, I'll show you the fag machine if you lucky, here can you hold this shoe for a minute all stuff I used to say mostly just to have a laugh but generally ended up lucky and pissed, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted August 19, 2016 Report Share Posted August 19, 2016 . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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