Sneak Thieves

[TeDuke 276]

I'd took my beddy whippet night fishing once, me and a friend were sat round a fire eating a bag of wine gums after half hour my mate says to me for some one who isn't to keen on wine gums your emptying that bag pretty quick,it turned out the little shite of a beddy was hiding in the shadows and every now and then whilst we weren't looking was sneaking up and taking 1 wine gum at a time out of the bag we had between us, no rustling of the packet while he was getting them the only give away was him smacking his lips when he finally got one stuck to his teeth

[Dan McDonough 560]

Great stuff, these stories are getting pretty funny. I'm reading them out loud to my 12 year old boy and he's rolling.

[lurcherman 887 13,176]

 

 

He is rob and hes a bit of a wanker too

you been giving it to much of the mushroom treatment lol

 

Could be that i guess lol

[Rob Boux 64]

Totally forgot...my first whippet. We used to grow that "medicinal plant" in my mum's garden. Had a half dozen looking really good, and ready, then poof, one day just shredded down to the stalk. Was my whippet....slept for a couple days lol. But, the appetite was born, and from that day on he'd snatch from anybody's back back etc....was known as a baggie thief.

[tsteve9999 456]

_{My old dog has been a thief from the day I got him. He will eat basically anything that isn't locked down and it's very rare that we catch him at it because he makes no noise at all. I've lost count of the times he's whipped food off the coffee tables while we've been sitting 18 inches away watching telly, he's taken a red hot cooked chicken from the oven and had it mostly eaten before we found him up the garden ,and I now hang the dogs frozen food on the washing line because he's ate all 3 lb in one go so many times. He's eaten dozens of packs of butter over the years and literally hundreds of empty polythene bags that contained his mince, and all that comes out the other end is a polythene wrapped turd. He's learned that people who don't know him are easy to bully, so if I see someone walking towards me with a bag of any sort I put him on the lead because otherwise he'll just waltz over and stick his nose in and steal whatevers in there. Same applies to fishermen too, because last year he ate a guys groundbait, complete with maggots and casters.}

[eastcoast 4,151]

The memory that sticks in my mind is a bit off thread as it doesn't involve a canny jukel using guile and cunning. The dog in question was a simple uncomplicated Jack Russell. He loved life and grasped it all with open arms/mouth. One Saturday my sister returned home from shopping in the " toon ". She ignored me and my dog, as was the norm, and went upstairs. I ignored her, as was the norm. About 10 minutes later I heard a scream and foul language directed to towards the terrier and went upstairs to defend him, as was the norm. I found the dog on it's side looking bloated as though a large litter was about to drop. The terrier was a dog not a bitch though. At the time my sister used to cook for her then boyfriend on a Saturday night. She had the put bags containing the ingredients for that night's meal in her room and went to the bog. Mixed grill was the limits of her culinary talents at the time. Cumberland sausage , fillet steak, gammon steak and two lamb cutlets. The dog had nipped upstairs and wolfed the lot even having a go at the bread buns, taking a little bit out of all of them.

 

He just lay there on his side with a belly swelled to cartoon like proportions, eyes bulging and tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth and panting , looking as happy as any being could ever hope to be. He than started to pant heavily but just before I got too worried he struggled to his feet and puked the whole lot up. He got a bit angry when I snatched him up to stop him having another go but not as irate as my sister when I told her to go fetch some bags as it would be shame to waste all that quality meat. More than a weeks worth of feed for the little dog. Again, more foul language.

 

The was a happy ending though. She recently celebrated 32 ( I think ) years of marriage to the lad that the meal was intended for. And did eventually see the funny side of it...yesterday when I showed her this topic.

 

R.I.P. Tod, your still helping me to smile bonny lad.