Funny Joke Thread

[Squirrel_Basher 17,100]

I’ll take it

[jetro 5,349]

https://www.(!64.56:886/groups/748800302583164/permalink/838559210273939/

[jetro 5,349]

[jetro 5,349]

https://www.(!64.56:886/groups/748800302583164/permalink/838542390275621/?sfnsn=mo

[jetro 5,349]

[walshie 2,804]

[DIDO.1 22,583]

[Bush Rummager 4,458]

[jetro 5,349]

[jetro 5,349]

[jetro 5,349]

A group of Hell's Angel's bikers were riding along when they saw a girl about to jump off a railway Bridge. They stopped.

Tattoo Mike, the lead biker was a big burly man of 53, got off his Harley, walked through a group of gawkers, past the police and said,

"Hey Baby, whatcha doin' up there on that there railin'?"

She replied, 
"I'm going to commit suicide!"

He said, "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe, how about you give ol' Tattoo Mike here your best goodbye kiss?".

So without hesitation, she leaned back over the rail and did just that. And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss plus a few more real wet ones. 

Tattoo Mike got lots of cheers of approval from his biker-buddies, onlookers, 
and even the police.

He said, 
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! 
That's a real talent you got there, darling.

You could be famous if you rode with me. 
Why the hell are you committing suicide?"

She replied,

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

(And they lived happily ever after.)

[jetro 5,349]

Infant. 

Barry decided to propose to Janice, but prior to her acceptance Janice felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. 

She informed Barry that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old.

He stated that it was OK because he loved her sooo much. However, Barry felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too.

Barry looked Janice in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem. 

My willy is the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with that once we are married.'

She said, 'Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size willy.'

Janice and Barry got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.

Barry whisked Janice off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, and holding one another.

As Janice put her hands in Barry's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! 

Barry ran after her to find out what was wrong.

She said, 'You told me your knob   was the size of an infant!'

'Yes, it is ... 7 pounds, 8 ounces, & 19 inches long!!..

[jetro 5,349]

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know how to say one thing.' 'What do they say?' the priest inquired. They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment. 'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. And your parrots are sure to stop saying . . That phrase . . In no time.' Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.' The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' There was stunned silence. Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot And exclaimed, 'Put the beads away, Frank ~~~ our prayers have been answered!'

[Ted Newgent 4,896]

[jetro 5,349]