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A MONTANA COWBOY, A NATIVE AMERICAN AND A MUSLIM ARE WAITING FOR THEIR PLANE IN A SMALL MONTANA AIRPORT. THE MONTANA COWBOY LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR, CROSSES HIS BOOTS ON A MAGAZINE TABLE AND TIPS

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For all the old dudes ..... 

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. 
Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. 
The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!” 
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. 
Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,  "Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” 

Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 
"Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!” 
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes. 
The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion. 
The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!”
Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog  sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says…….. 
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!” 

Moral of this story…
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! 
Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience. 
If you don't send this to two 'old' b*****ds right away, there will be two fewer people laughing in the world. 
Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged’.

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On 03/11/2019 at 18:18, dytkos said:

The inventor of the USB stick has died 

At his funeral they gently lowered the coffin, then pulled it back up, turned it the other way, then lowered it again.

Cheers, D.

My pal got buried and the undertakers lowered him in the wrong way round and the coffin got stuck half way down,it needed a few of us tugging on the ropes to get him back up and turned round.The undertakers were well embarised and couldn't have been any more sorry,we all just fell about laughing as it was just fecking funny......

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