Funny Joke Thread

[Ted Newgent 4,896]

[Ted Newgent 4,896]

[Ted Newgent 4,896]

[bob.243 8,623]

[EDDIE B 3,162]

8 hours ago, Ted Newgent said:

Anyone got that one, but about wanting permission? Had a look back but can't find it

[jetro 5,349]

[TheShootingTog 2,256]

[jetro 5,349]

If you are 40 or older you will think this is hilarious..!!!!
 When I  was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious shite  about how hard things where. When they were growing up; what with  walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill...  barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda
 And I remember promising  myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a  bunch of shit like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy  they've got it!
 But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
 You've got it so easy..! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a FKING UTOPIA..! 
 And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
 I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to  know something, we had to go to the bloody library and look it up  ourselves, in the card catalogue..!!
 There was no email..!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen//! 
 Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! 
 Stamps were 5 pence!
 Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a  matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to  kick the shit out of us! Nowhere was safe!
 There were no MP3' s or  Pirate sites..! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to  the record store and shoplift it yourself! 
 Or you had to wait  around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk  over the beginning and f**k it all up! There were no CD players! We had  tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when  finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled,  dig?
 We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the  phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
 And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
 When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your  school, your mum, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a  collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and  take your chances, mister!
 We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation  video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600!  With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little  square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no  multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever!
 And you could never win.
 The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
 You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!  You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off  your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
 NO REMOTES..!!!
 There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on  Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK  for cartoons, you SPOILED LITTLE RAT b*****ds..!!
 And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the cooker! Imagine that!
 That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too  easy. You're spoiled. You little arseholes wouldn't have lasted five  minutes back in 1970's
 

[jetro 5,349]

[Saltmoon 2,208]

1 hour ago, jetro said:

If you are 40 or older you will think this is hilarious..!!!!
 When I  was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious shite  about how hard things where. When they were growing up; what with  walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill...  barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda
 And I remember promising  myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a  bunch of shit like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy  they've got it!
 But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
 You've got it so easy..! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a FKING UTOPIA..! 
 And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
 I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to  know something, we had to go to the bloody library and look it up  ourselves, in the card catalogue..!!
 There was no email..!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen//! 
 Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! 
 Stamps were 5 pence!
 Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a  matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to  kick the shit out of us! Nowhere was safe!
 There were no MP3' s or  Pirate sites..! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to  the record store and shoplift it yourself! 
 Or you had to wait  around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk  over the beginning and f**k it all up! There were no CD players! We had  tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when  finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled,  dig?
 We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the  phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
 And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
 When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your  school, your mum, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a  collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and  take your chances, mister!
 We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation  video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600!  With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little  square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no  multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever!
 And you could never win.
 The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
 You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!  You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off  your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
 NO REMOTES..!!!
 There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on  Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK  for cartoons, you SPOILED LITTLE RAT b*****ds..!!
 And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the cooker! Imagine that!
 That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too  easy. You're spoiled. You little arseholes wouldn't have lasted five  minutes back in 1970's
 

I was born 1990 but I remember having to go knock on your mates house to see if there coming out and my first tv didn't have a remote either and had a red tuning stick because each channel was different so had to tune each one every time you changed channel. I was yapping to a kid onsite the other day he had no idea what dial up internet was and his first phone was a iPhone 5 

[jetro 5,349]

Just now, Saltmoon said:

I was born 1990 but I remember having to go knock on your mates house to see if there coming out and my first tv didn't have a remote either and had a red tuning stick because each channel was different so had to tune each one every time you changed channel. I was yapping to a kid onsite the other day he had no idea what dial up internet was and his first phone was a iPhone 5 

See how much the world has changed since then 

Atb j 

[Furrosious ferreter 499]

I remember when we had no heating in the cottage... there was frost on the inside of the windows.

You had to walk the 3 miles and knock on your mates door and have to speak to their parents... ' is marc coming out to play?'

I dont think ive seen a kid up a tree for years

No new mud slides in our local river.

CC

 

[bob.243 8,623]

[bob.243 8,623]

[trigger2 3,137]

1 hour ago, bob.243 said:

That would cause a serious problem for the younger generation, they would have to attempt to actually talk to each other