smithie 2,443 Posted November 22, 2018 Report Share Posted November 22, 2018 An Irishman is rowing a boat in a field of hay. Another Irishman drives past and stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat and says "It's Thicko's like you that give us Irish a bad name. I'd come over there and kick you in if I could swim" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
B&W 29 Posted November 22, 2018 Report Share Posted November 22, 2018 Rabbit walks into a bar and sits down. Landlord comes over and asks "what can I do you for?" I'll have a pint of lager and a cheese toastie please. Drinks his pint, eats his toastie and buggers off. Second night, the rabbit walks in and orders a pint and a cheese and ham toastie. Drinks his pint, eats his toastie and buggers off. Third night, he walks in orders a pint and cheese and onion toastie. Drinks his pint, eats his toastie and buggers off. The next night there's no sign of the rabbit at the pub. Landlord asks about to see if anyone knows anything.. A bloke says " sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the rabbits dead".. Bloody hell.. what happened? Asked the landlord. Poor f****r died of Myxamatoasties.. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tank34 2,341 Posted November 24, 2018 Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted November 24, 2018 Report Share Posted November 24, 2018 Paddy said to mick that he was going to hospital to get circumcised mick replied he had it done when he was a baby and paddy asked him did it hurt and replied that he couldn't walk for a year 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DIDO.1 22,832 Posted November 25, 2018 Report Share Posted November 25, 2018 2 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 8,762 Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tank34 2,341 Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tank34 2,341 Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Saltmoon 2,208 Posted November 27, 2018 Report Share Posted November 27, 2018 1 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
brambles 3,247 Posted November 27, 2018 Report Share Posted November 27, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted November 27, 2018 Report Share Posted November 27, 2018 3 white guys in South Africa during Apartheid get jailed they get talking in prison. The first guy is asked what you in for? " Got drunk and shot two Kaffirs on the way home from pub" What did you get? "Week in jail" What did the judge say? "Be out in a day for good behaviour." Next guy was asked what you in for? "Oh I ran over a whole family of Black's with my Jeep" What did you get? "Oh I got a month in jail" What did the judge say? "Be out in 3days " Next guy what you in for? "Well I blew up a black church killing 20 of them" What did you get? " 3months jail" What did the judge say? "Be out in a fortnight" They looked around and seen a wee darkie sitting in the corner. " Hey you what you in for"? "Riding my bike without lights" What did you get? "10 years hard labour" What did the judge say? " He said I'd have got double that it had been at night"! 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 8,762 Posted December 1, 2018 Report Share Posted December 1, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 8,762 Posted December 1, 2018 Report Share Posted December 1, 2018 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Francie 6,368 Posted December 1, 2018 Report Share Posted December 1, 2018 4 hours ago, bob.243 said: Took me a second there to catch on 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
waltjnr 6,776 Posted December 1, 2018 Report Share Posted December 1, 2018 6 hours ago, bob.243 said: Quick lets get some on the beaches! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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