dytkos 17,793 Posted June 23, 2018 Report Share Posted June 23, 2018 A mate was bragging the other day about his sexual prowess. "I'm shagging a pair of twins at the moment" he said "How do you tell them apart?" I replied. "Easy" he said "Sarah's got a small heart tattooed on her shoulder and Steve's got a moustache" Cheers, D. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 The wife said to me "I want you to make me sweaty and breathless !" So I turned up the heating and his her inhaler ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxpack 2 7,852 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 Warning labels are stupid. I bought some Deodorant and it says on the can, "Avoid Contact with Eyes" TOO LATE, I've already seen it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 The England football team visited an orphanage in Russia yesterday. "It's heartbreaking to see their little faces with absolutely no hope." said Wladimir aged 5. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,599 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 26,474 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 Many a true word is said in jest. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 26,474 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
si brown 8,486 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxpack 2 7,852 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stumfelter 3,034 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 I asked the assistant at boots for some deodorant, she said "ball or aerosol" I said "neither it's for my armpits". 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxpack 2 7,852 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,599 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 8,758 Posted June 26, 2018 Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 1 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DIDO.1 22,830 Posted June 27, 2018 Report Share Posted June 27, 2018 1 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxpack 2 7,852 Posted June 27, 2018 Report Share Posted June 27, 2018 My wife walked in the kitchen and said, "That smells nice, what is it?" "Its a red wine sauce I've made." I pointed my finger towards her and said, "Have a taste." She said, "That tastes f***ing disgusting." "Sorry, wrong finger... scratched my arse with that one." 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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