The one 8,463 Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 A catholic girl goes into confession and says to the priest, "I'm pregnant" He asks, "How did this happen my child?" She says, "I think it must be the second coming! The priest, shocked by this reply asks, "What makes you think it is the second coming?"She replies, "Because I swallowed the first! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,463 Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 I was so drunk at the bar last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance competition 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted May 19, 2017 Report Share Posted May 19, 2017 Keep em coming The One. More likes Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,463 Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 I got sent a good one im trying to find it but im in two minds about posting it on here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 I got sent a good one im trying to find it but im in two minds about posting it on here It can't be any worse than the rest you've put up. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 If God created the top half of a woman, who created the bottom half?Council workers - who else would put a play area next to a shithole!!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted May 23, 2017 Report Share Posted May 23, 2017 I've just as my loft converted.... Now, it's a muslim and won't let me in unless I take my shoes off ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted May 24, 2017 Report Share Posted May 24, 2017 This old slapper came over to me in the restaurant earlier, she said: "Do you like what you see, stud?" I said, "get your tits out love." "Ahh, you wanna see some more do you?" She purred. "No" I replied, "they're in my f***ing soup. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted May 25, 2017 Report Share Posted May 25, 2017 I've lost my thesaurus. I can't find the words to describe how upset I am........ (I'll get my coat) 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blaze 49 Posted May 25, 2017 Report Share Posted May 25, 2017 Blind man with his guide dog walks into a shop...once in the shop the blind man starts swinging the dog arround above his head by the lead...the shop keeper says "what the f**k are you doing?"...blind man replies "don't mind me I'm just having a look arround" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted May 25, 2017 Report Share Posted May 25, 2017 A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. "Looking for a man with three qualifications: wont beat me up, wont run away from me, and is great in bed." Two days later her doorbell rings. "Hi, Im Tim. I have no arms so I wont beat you, and no legs so I won't run away." "What makes you think you are great in bed?" the woman retorts. Tim replies, "I rang the doorbell, didnt I?" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
john rust 45 Posted May 27, 2017 Report Share Posted May 27, 2017 3 gays in a hot tub when a condom goes floating past , one said who farted Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wickenuk 40 Posted May 27, 2017 Report Share Posted May 27, 2017 i just bought a dog of the local blacksmith ,as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,431 Posted May 27, 2017 Report Share Posted May 27, 2017 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Francie 6,368 Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 Haha very good hawki. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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