dark-destroyer-85 636 Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 17393057_10154752217247224_1797015910_n.jpg.?????? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 17393057_10154752217247224_1797015910_n.jpg. Brilliant PMSL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shovel leaner 7,650 Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Englishman looks out of his window and sees one of his chickens laying an egg in his neighbors garden. Quick as a flash he knocks on his neighbors door, who just happens to be a Pakistani. He explains what has happened and that he would like to have the egg . "Oh no my friend, in my country if it is on my land it is my egg ". The English man thinks for a moment and says, "well mate you are in England now , and the way we sort out a disagreement like this is to have a bollock kicking competition. We take turns kicking each other's bollocks until one gives in and the winner keeps the egg". "Sounds fair to me says the Paki ". So the English man elects to go first and indicates to the paki to stand with his legs nice and wide , then in Jonny Wilkinson style takes a preparatory glance at the target area and a short run up and delivers an awesome kick to the pakis nether regions , lifting him about a foot off the ground . About 10 minutes later , after the paki has stopped vomiting, and has managed to regain his composure. He says "now it is my turn "!!! English man replies "keep the f@@king egg". 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shovel leaner 7,650 Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 An English man , Irish man, a Scott and Welsh man , out hunting deer . They approach a clearing and a nice six pointer presents a shot , Taff says he will take the shot , but shoots a bit low and the buck is hit but runs mortally wounded . Paddy and Taff decide to look for the body , leaving Jock and the English man in the clearing. Half an hour goes by and no sign of paddy and Taff , so they decide to see what's going on . They follow the blood trail and come to another small clearing, and there in front of them is Taff slumped over a fallen tree with his trousers around his ankles and Paddy frantically pounding his arse . They yell at Paddy "what the f@@k is going on"? Paddy cries "he had a heart attack". "But you are supposed to give him the kiss of life ". "I know that "said Paddy ,"how do you think it all started "? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,764 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 There were three guys travelling in Africa, a Frenchman, a Japanese, and an Irishman, and they get captured by a tribe of fierce headhunters. The witch doctor says to them, "We are going to slaughter you, but you might take some comfort in the fact that we don't believe in waste here, so therefore every part of your body will go to some use. We will weave baskets out of your hair, we will render your bones for glue, and we will tan your skin and stretch it over wooden frames for canoes. Now we are going to allow you an honourable death, so I will give you each a knife and allow you to say some last words before killing yourselves." The Japanese guy yells "Banzai!" and commits hari-kari. The French guy yells "Vive la France!" and slits his throat. Then the Paddy takes the knife, repeatedly stabs himself all over his body, and yells, "That's fcuked your canoe!" 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogMan85 722 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 For King...... Why shouldn't you mock a dyslexic dwarf? It's not big and it's not clever...... ? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 For King...... Why shouldn't you mock a dyslexic dwarf? ??????? It's not big and it's not clever...... ? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,431 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 fook up my knee today in work, just got the x-ray back 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dinosaurs 2,035 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 Fcuk me Hawk are you a Dwarf?? ? Atb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogMan85 722 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 Fcuk me Hawk are you a Dwarf?? ? Atb Horse by looks of the kneecaps. ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 I was at the bank the other day and an elderly lady asked me if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 My Paki neighbour said to me today, "I'm fed up of your dog shitting on my garden." "It wasn't my dog." I replied. "How do you know it wasn't?" he asked. I said, "Because it was me." 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,431 Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 fook up my knee today in work, just got the x-ray back Fcuk me Hawk are you a Dwarf?? Atb Fcuk me Hawk are you a Dwarf?? Atb Horse by looks of the kneecaps. not my fault im big boned 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted April 1, 2017 Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 The wife asked me "Go anything planned for Easter ?" I said "Same as Jesus......going out Friday coming back Monday !" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted April 1, 2017 Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 The doctor looked at my notes and said "The operation will almost certainly restore 100% vision to both eyes, but may cause problems with you maintaining an erection." "How come?" I asked. "Well your wife is very ugly....." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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