Blackbriar 8,569 Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 My wife got very upset last night, so I decided to console her - I hit her round the head with my X Box ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 A man went to the library and asked the librarian, "Do you have the new book for men with small penises." She looked at he computer and replied, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,764 Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 Paddy went to visit his wife in the maternity ward to find she had given birth to triplets. "How the fcuk has that happened?" said Paddy His wife said "Do you remember 9 months ago when we were about to make love but I was a bit dry, and you used 3-in-1 oil for lubrication." Paddy replied, " Good job I didn't use the WD40 then." 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,764 Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 Just seen 2 blind men fighting in the street. You should have seen them run when I said "my money's on the one with the knife." 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 I was good in school. I got more A's than a scouser trying to break up a fight Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,597 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 So Donald trump has chosen mickey pence as Vice President, Not even in their wildest dreams did Walt Disney think that one day Donald and mickey would run the country . 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 8,755 Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiCpZT74vTRAhWFCsAKHaqDDF8QtwIIHDAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DY_i8TBo_IO4&usg=AFQjCNG-dtCB5FfRg7SqqwiI_2PqOml_5A Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 I went for my regular check up today, and they insisted on a rectal examination....... .....do you think I should change my dentist ? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 Why are hurricanes normally named after women? When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your f***ing house and car with them 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
brambles 3,221 Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Walking along the street yesterday I meets a dwarf carrying a flat screen TV, I says to him" hey buddy you want a hand carrying that tv" he replies " F@ck of ya prick it's a Kindle" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ronny Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Got a new job with the Samaritans last week. Tried to phone in sick this morning and the b*****ds talked me out of it! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,477 Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dmitry Ivanov 98 Posted February 6, 2017 Report Share Posted February 6, 2017 . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dmitry Ivanov 98 Posted February 6, 2017 Report Share Posted February 6, 2017 (edited) In the morning, after the evening dinner with alcohol. Edited February 6, 2017 by Dmitry Ivanov 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted February 6, 2017 Report Share Posted February 6, 2017 Know the feeling all too well Dmitry lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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