Lloyd90 509 Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 Old get german biology teacher is in class. Lad says is it true sir if you cut a worm in half,,it grows into two seperate worms? NOT IF ZE CUT ZEM LEGHTH VEWS! What was funny about that ? Must have lost me lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Out walking the dogs on the mountain high above the Welsh village where I live on a really warm summers day. I reached a mountain stream and found a large ewe dead in the water and stood there fascinated at the thousands of maggots wriggling and falling in to the stream. I called the dogs and crossed the stream and headed home when I noticed someone lower down on his knees drinking from the stream, so I immediately shouted "Peidiwch a yfed y dwr mae dafad wedi marw yn y nant" (don't drink the water there is a dead sheep in the stream), he totally ignored me so I called again "Peidiwch a yfed y dwr mae dafad wedi marw yn y nant, at this he stood up sharply and that was when I recognised him as that Chris Packham guy off the telly, he shouted back "For God's sake man can't you speak the Queen's English?? I replied "Sorry sir was just saying how cold and refreshing the mountain stream water is on a day like today, good day to you" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Pulled a stunning chinese girl last night, I am so horny I'll do anything you want she said, I suggested a 69, f**k off she said I'm not cooking this time of night 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Got knocked down earlier by a hire car! Fu**in Hertz! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Ken is 35 years old and still single. One day his friend asked him, "How come you aren't married? Haven't you met the right woman yet?" Ken replied, "Actually I've met many women I would love to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His mate has a think then says, "I have the perfect solution. Just find a girl that's like your mother and they will get on like a house on fire." A few months later, they meet again and the friend asks, "How did you get on? Did you find the perfect girl? Does your mother like her?" Frowning, Ken replies, "Actually yes. I met the most perfect girl. She was just like my mother. My mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Well what's the problem then? Why the frown?" Ken replied, "My father doesn't like her." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Ken is 35 years old and still single. One day his friend asked him, "How come you aren't married? Haven't you met the right woman yet?" Ken replied, "Actually I've met many women I would love to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His mate has a think then says, "I have the perfect solution. Just find a girl that's like your mother and they will get on like a house on fire." A few months later, they meet again and the friend asks, "How did you get on? Did you find the perfect girl? Does your mother like her?" Frowning, Ken replies, "Actually yes. I met the most perfect girl. She was just like my mother. My mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Well what's the problem then? Why the frown?" Ken replied, "My father doesn't like her." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 :-) LIKE (-: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Brilliant Walshie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,431 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Fat woman says to her husband, "Why didn't you come and help me ? Didn't you hear me fall down the stairs ?" Husband replies, "Sorry, love, I thought EastEnders had started....." 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stumfelter 3,034 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 A Pakistani man is being charged with assault after allegedly punching his wife in the face rendering her unconscious. Mr Achindagudanproppa denies the offence. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 A Pakistani man is being charged with assault after allegedly punching his wife in the face rendering her unconscious. Mr Achindagudanproppa denies the offence. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Brill PMSL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Craic 203 Posted September 5, 2016 Report Share Posted September 5, 2016 Lol 14 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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