Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 Please tell me if you didnt find this funny A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome Cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do a! bout that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
spudlington 3 Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 I did hear it before but yes very good! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 I did hear it before but yes very good! I must say you do like my jokes Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 For Spud You will love this! >>>> This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and >> a>> group of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirm>> your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the >> human race.>> A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day,a >> gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.>> The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all >> the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.>> She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,more >> or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted >> with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and >> gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.>> They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which>> thrilled her immensely.>> At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a >> pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl >> took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the >> money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.>> At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the>> little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the >> fact she had a 'pay packet'.>> 'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.>> The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and >> Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'>> 'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the >> house again next week?'>> The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:>> 'I think so. Provided those wa***rs at Jewsons deliver the fu**ing >> bricks.' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
spudlington 3 Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 I f#cking love it!!! You beauty that's a belter!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 I f#cking love it!!! You beauty that's a belter!!!! I knew that would make you giggle Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 eheheheha thats funny i like the builders one better Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FUBAR 0 Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest NICOLA Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 A NUN IS SITTING ON A TRAIN OPPOSITE A SKINHEAD WHO IS EATING A BAG OF PRAWNS EVERYTIME HE EATS ONE HE SPITS THE HEADAT HER AND SHE THROWS IT OUT THE WINDOW EVENTUALLY SHE GETS PISSED OFF AND PULLS THE EMERGENCY CORD THE SKINHEAD LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS YOUL GET FINED 50 QUID FOR THAT YOU STUPID SLUT AND HE LAUGHS SHELAUGHS BACK AND SAYS WHEN I CRY RAPE AND THEY SMELL YOUR FINGERS YOUL GET 10 YEARS YOU BALDY b*****d :sick: I GOT SENT THIS TODAY Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest NICOLA Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 (edited) A WOMAN HAD BEEN ON THE GAME FOR 4 YEARSAND WAS WORRIED ABOUT TH SIZE OF HER FANNYON HER WEDING NITE SO SHE DCIDED TO TELL HER HUSBAND SHE HAD CAUGHT IT CLIMBING OVER A FENCEAFTER AN HOUR IN BED WITH HER HE SAID JUST HOW FARACROSS THE f*****g FEILD WERE YOU BEFORE YOU REALISED IT WAS CAUGHT? Edited November 27, 2007 by NICOLA Quote Link to post Share on other sites
spudlington 3 Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Hehehe! But less of the skinhead bashing! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lurcher-lass Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 A WOMAN HAD BEEN ON THE GAME FOR 4 YEARSAND WAS WORRIED ABOUT TH SIZE OF HER FANNYON HER WEDING NITE SO SHE DCIDED TO TELL HER HUSBAND SHE HAD CAUGHT IT CLIMBING OVER A FENCEAFTER AN HOUR IN BED WITH HER HE SAID JUST HOW FARACROSS THE f*****g FEILD WERE YOU BEFORE YOU REALISED IT WAS CAUGHT? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sureshot 0 Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Classic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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