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Hunting Life Member Attacked.


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Well i'll be f****d, took me 2 days to finally read the last 55 pages and catch up on whats going on. Thank f**k you's don't put all ya fine upstanding citizens on a ship and send them down my way any more cause theres enough shit bags here already. Mind you though ya could probably drop him off out in the middle of the Northern Territory and let the boys up there catch a few pigs of him once he starts to blow up and stinking a bit in the sun.

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thank you all for your kind words its andys wife tonya, he is on the mend though still in pain and having nightmares about the attack so the nights are long and seem to have extra hours in them! but w

a message from andy..........i am am overwhelmed by the kind responses and gifts you have sent for me for my recovery, a bleak beginning to last week has ended with my faith in humanity being restored

hi lads and lasses its tonya, it happened just outside of edmundbyre near derwent i cant really say much at the minute as some of the villagers may have an idea who it could have been and the wildlife

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never trust a man who wears nhs glasses

My account was in brief. Just wait until Quentin tarrintino gets hold of this biopic and directs something worthy of an Oscar.

Can just picture it now.....

Set in the rolling landscape of up north. Moors. Fells. Trees and shit.

The villain gets set upon by two tattooed scallys. Beaten and left for dead. There's the drama. You take pity on the guy.

The action starts with quad bikes and helicopters!!

Then back to the drama. Hospital visit and a miraculous speedy recovery that would make Stephen segal look like an amateur.

More action then with armed attacks and speedy getaways in an old escort van with rotten sills and no MOT.

The money scam will be something like what kieser sozey pulled in the usual suspects.

The ending will be the usual tarrintino surprise.

I can just see it now....

Lol rotted sills I ain't heard that phrase for a long time.
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At a game fair near you Andy standing proud at the entrance of his net tent this summer.

His pigeon chest covered in a newly ironed t shirt.

the sun glinting of his freshly mr sheen polished nhs specs. held together with 1 of elastoplasts top of the range finger plasters.

A new looking pair of black pasty shoes with a shine only 2hrs on the brushes with kiwi shoe polish can produce.

And to finish the look a freshly combed over bryllcreme saturated fly sticking comb over.

 

I will leave someone carry on lol

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He flicked the toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other.

And sneered the sneer of a man with no conscience.

A pretty girl came up to him.

"Say, You're Andy Kelly King of the netmakers aren't you?"

"Yeah, I do like to spin a yarn." he replied. "Would you like to see my binoculars?".....

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"I'd love to see your binoculars. Where did you get them Andy?"

 

"Oh my friend Steven Seagal sent them over from America for me...."

 

"Your friends with Steven Seagal?"

 

"Friends....we are like brothers. We used to go to school together. Then when we were a bit older I used to be his stunt man"

 

"Wow....is that true?"

 

"Unfortunately not.......I'm actually a lying c**t!!"

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