Malt 379 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Me and the wife are considering going our separate ways. We're on good terms, still sharing a bed but both of us feel that there is something missing, something that hasn't been there since the start. There's a pain there that is slowly eating away at both our souls and we've been trying to fix it for a very long time but it just aint happening. Our relationship is strong, but its not a relationship based on mutual attraction or any sort of chemistry between us, never has been. We were both in a bit of a mess when we got together all those years ago with one thing or another and we were what each other needed at the time. We're coming to the conclusion that it might be better to part now and move on rather than carry on for x amount of years and then look back with regret at the time we spent with either of us not being 100% happy with our situations. Don't even know why I'm writing this dear dedrie shit on here, just guess I need some perspective. Has anybody else here been in a similar situation? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tuzo 251 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Whatever you decide mate I hope you lead a long and happy life from here on in. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bracken boy 584 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Wow that must be hard to write, split with my woman in 2010 after 17 years and as with you we are still on very very good speaking terms and too be honest I love her to bits still, life goes on as they say and time is a great healer for the pain your feeling if any. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tb25 4,627 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Sometimes we become friends rather than lovers..witch leads to fights and picking at each other.... Atb mate.its not easy 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Cheers lads. BB we want to remain on good terms, we've always been good mates. We argue but not very often apart from the odd bicker here and there. Jim, that sums us up pretty well mate. The frustration creeps in and its that which is causing the pain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Brewman 1,192 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 I think most couples have been through rocky times I know we have but we looked at why and managed to sort it out, no one else involved or any domestic violence just outside stress playing it's part. It was touchey at times but talking helped. You're both fortunate that you have talked it over and agree on the why's and wherefores amicably. It's not easy and is sad when it happens even when amicable but best not to have regrets later on and turn bitter and twisted towards each other. Do what you think is best and the right thing for all with what you've said you're sounding like nearly 100% sure what the best thing to do is. All the best with what you decide to do. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bosun11 537 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 If you've a mind to write that then i'd say your minds made Mal. Better apart for the right reasons than together for the wrong. We get one life so make the most of it. Work hard in making the process as painless as possible, for all concerned. Very best for the future. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,443 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 im sure deep down you know when its over.. me and mine have both agreed if any of us ever feel like that then we will just end it. dragging it out would only be years wasted were we are willing to accept our lot but not trully happy. i would rather we moved on and be happy, be it with another or single. if the rot sets in you could end up with hate for each other and that would be a shame good luck with it. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Thats a heart felt post, it can't be easy but as already been said for you to put up a post on here like that your mind seems already made up. I take it you've already tried or considered counselling for the both of you if not is it worth a shot? Good luck and best wishes for whatever you eventually decide to do. I don't know of your personal circumstances but I will say one thing if kids are involved please put them first before anything. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
zigzag dan 784 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Sorry to hear this ..................I split from my partner in Aug 14 , we were the opposite ...................the only time we got on was sex !!!! ...................any other time we argue over petty stuff really .....................I met someone else within 2 months , a lovely girl but I just had too see if we could work again so , I ended it and tried again with the ex ...............after a month we realised we just didn't work ...............so I ended up without either ! ...................I am single now , take women out when I want too and are enjoying it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,rather be single and happy than unhappy in a relationship ...............if it feels like its over it probably is ................good luck anyway . 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 6,173 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Deep respect to you both for maybe taking what is always a difficult decision. Far too many couples stay together because fear of the unknown future keeps them in a familiar safe rut. Having the courage, and the awareness, to go your separate ways in peace is a huge thing to do, and having known life lived in fear of the future I know just how freeing it is to make a positive step in the right direction. We can only live life to the fullest if we banish our fears and become aware of our potential to live how we are meant to live. Different for everyone, and only we can decide what is right for us as individuals. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
budharley 945 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 what ever you decide mate I hope everything works out for the better. It seems that if you both are feeling the same and talking about it then this probably the [BANNED TEXT] time , keeping on talking terms is difficult at the best of times dragging it out could possibly lead to some heartache .atb mate in whatever you decide 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lukey 1,621 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Me and the wife are considering going our separate ways. We're on good terms, still sharing a bed but both of us feel that there is something missing, something that hasn't been there since the start. There's a pain there that is slowly eating away at both our souls and we've been trying to fix it for a very long time but it just aint happening. Our relationship is strong, but its not a relationship based on mutual attraction or any sort of chemistry between us, never has been. We were both in a bit of a mess when we got together all those years ago with one thing or another and we were what each other needed at the time. We're coming to the conclusion that it might be better to part now and move on rather than carry on for x amount of years and then look back with regret at the time we spent with either of us not being 100% happy with our situations. Don't even know why I'm writing this dear dedrie shit on here, just guess I need some perspective. Has anybody else here been in a similar situation? That's not nice mate wish you all the best, maybe a separation will show yous that yous do in fact need each other, and if not then I'm 100% sure you'll find that happiness else where! ?? I was 8 years with my ex and didn't love her I thought I did until I left and met my now wife and I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. Cheesy lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BGD 6,436 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Life is too short to stay in a relationship you're not happy in, see too many folk staying together just out of habit atb for the future Malt 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lenmcharristar 9,761 Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Get out and slap the conkers of a big girls ass, best thing you can do, it may be fine n dandy now, but wait til the house stuff has to be split, the arguments will start, if you've any kids who ever keeps them full time should keep most of the stuff. Best to do it now whilst yous are still on talking terms. Just go out n ride all round ya. Def don't be spouting all your biz over the inter web, same for your missus too. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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