Funny Story

[Welsh_red 4,664]

[mushroom 13,176]

Who the fuuck gets naked to take a shit???

[dare 1,103]

I have never had to take a shit outside and if i ever do i wouldn't dream of telling the world about it lol.

[Welsh_red 4,664]

I know a bloke who shits anywhere aswell . Shat in a hole on a golf course once apparently . Ive only shit outside once . It was in work on a building site after a really heavy sunday night drinking . I went into the woods by site with bog roll and a shovel , did the deed and when finishing up i seen someone in the distance on a ride on mower in their garden backing on to the woods . Bit weird and i promised myself then no more 'al fresco' dumping .

[CushtyJook 1,097]

Who the fuuck gets naked to take a shit???

Real naturists

[kanny 20,650]

[*The*Field*Marshall* 674]

Ha ha how embarrassing! Half reminded me of a time when out with our old man on one of his country 'walks', well, marches! Me and my brother had to run intermittently to keep up with him!

 

So on this particular 'march', Pembrokeshire it was, early summer, 94 maybe, mid trot, miles passed he slows to a stop - me and my brother inclining our ears to anticipate either of the following statements "look boys!" Usually something of interest, hare, fox maybe. Or "keep an eye out boys" which meant he was going to tend to a call of nature. .

 

So it's the latter of the two on this occasion and no sooner had he found a place to crouch we heard this "ohhw!" a Rare occurrence of expression from this teak tough individual, looking to find him scampering out of a ditch, ginger goolies barely away, he says "look boys, adder!" And there the culprit of commotion was to be seen clearly, sunbathing on a gorse bush, coiled menacingly as far as I can remember! Me and my brother giggled all the way home at the thought of our 'great' father spooked. .

 

I laugh now to think of his fright of being bitten on the ass or worse! "I heard it hissing boy, ohhw" the last I remembered him uttering as he marched on ha ha! . . His days are done, and I cling to the few, but very fond memories . .

[Welsh_red 4,664]

Ha ha how embarrassing! Half reminded me of a time when out with our old man on one of his country 'walks', well, marches! Me and my brother had to run intermittently to keep up with him!

 

So on this particular 'march', Pembrokeshire it was, early summer, 94 maybe, mid trot, miles passed he slows to a stop - me and my brother inclining our ears to anticipate either of the following statements "look boys!" Usually something of interest, hare, fox maybe. Or "keep an eye out boys" which meant he was going to tend to a call of nature. .

 

So it's the latter of the two on this occasion and no sooner had he found a place to crouch we heard this "ohhw!" a Rare occurrence of expression from this teak tough individual, looking to find him scampering out of a ditch, ginger goolies barely away, he says "look boys, adder!" And there the culprit of commotion was to be seen clearly, sunbathing on a gorse bush, coiled menacingly as far as I can remember! Me and my brother giggled all the way home at the thought of our 'great' father spooked. .

 

I laugh now to think of his fright of being bitten on the ass or worse! "I heard it hissing boy, ohhw" the last I remembered him uttering as he marched on ha ha! . . His days are done, and I cling to the few, but very fond memories . .

My dad used to do the same , take us on spirited walks in the countryside and whenever we were on holiday 75% of the time we were walking miles in the countryside

[Lab 10,979]

f***ing hell....pmsl. I'd like to think even if I needed a piss I'd try and hide from view of my neighbour but to take a shit......ffs!!

[Qbgrey 4,114]

Country folk have garden shitting swingers clubs.we all meet up and throw a sheet of shit roll in a varse .when your colours picked off you toddle and lay one on your niegbours lawn.

[Fly The Boy 339]

I know you love Fury but you don't have to act like he does,,,,,,,,,,this is getting really sick,,,,,,,,have caravan next,,,,,,,

[RubyTex 1,957]

I got caught a couple of times over winter, but one sticks in the memory.

 

I balanced myself over a log at perfect height and did the deed. No sooner had I pulled my undercrackers up, had the dog eaten said turd, and wandered off.....

 

Dirty bitch.

[BGD 6,436]

some hallions on here suppose ya just floss your hole with a dead rabbit

 

Sounds like RubyTex just gets the dog to lick his hole clean

[RossM 8,121]

 

some hallions on here suppose ya just floss your hole with a dead rabbit

 

Sounds like RubyTex just gets the dog to lick his hole clean

 

It started off with putting jam on his balls.....

[RossM 8,121]

I remember out lamping probably about 6 yr ago now, was out with big Davie about 6'4, so we were walking through this ploughed field to get to another one when he says "haud oan a minute, am needing the toilet" with that he thrusts the dug lead in my hand, I carried on ALONG the hedge line. Now a bit time passes and I had assumed that he was heading towards us so I shone lamp up the hedge line to let him know where we were...... Nae Davie!! I then assumed that one he had finished his piss the daft c**t having the same sense of direction as a toilet brush had headed in the wrong direction, so heading back up the hedge and I had no longer got to where I'd left David when the dugs pulled taught on the leads.... I switch lamp on and swung it into the field expecting to catch the reflection of a ruby eye........ Instead in the middle of the field I was met with the sight of this twiching white Arse as Davie dropped a batch in the freshly ploughed soil, it was then I noticed he had his wellies off as he had decided the perfect thing to wipe your hoop with if taking a shit in the great outdoors would be his pair of macenroe two stripe specials. Why? It's one of the many unanswered questions as is why he did it bang in the middle of the field.

Edited September 25, 2015 by RossM