Silly Or Amusing Phrases.....

[Brewman 1,192]

If somebody is annoying you tell them,

Go take your face for a shite.

[Blackdog92 2,047]

If i ever broke anything my grandad would say "your like a pig with a gripe"

[kanny 20,418]

She's got feet like fowl

[nans pat 2,575]

never look a gift horse in the mouth,

[peterhunter86 8,627]

In reply to 'I thought you knew/I thought you had it' etc, I've heard "You know what thought did ? Stuck a feather in the ground and thought he'd grow a chicken"........and I've heard it as far apart as Yorkshire and London.......

 

If someone says I thought this or thought that we would say see were thinking got you pissed in the bed and thought you were sweating

[peterhunter86 8,627]

Any one who was a bit tight was a ""dry lunch " to mean to pay for gravy Or my mothers favourite was " he wouldn't give his shit to the crows ...any one who was being a bit nosey or shifty looking my old fella came out with " he's got eyes like a shit house rat " ...and the definition of impossible was " got more chance of swimming the Atlantic with a cooker on your back "

 

We say he wouldn't give you the steam of his piss

 

He's as tight as a ducks arse or a nuns knickers

 

He's that mean he counts his money twice

 

He counts his money in front of the mirror so he can't rob himself

[shepp 2,285]

 

In reply to 'I thought you knew/I thought you had it' etc, I've heard "You know what thought did ? Stuck a feather in the ground and thought he'd grow a chicken"........and I've heard it as far apart as Yorkshire and London.......

If someone says I thought this or thought that we would say see were thinking got you pissed in the bed and thought you were sweating

My nan would say 'thought he'd farted but he'd shit himself'

[Neal 1,854]

Whenever my nan saw or heard something unusual she'd say either, "Well I could o' seen a rowin' boat," or "well, I'll go to the bottom of our garden." Everybody I've told this says it's usually "...the foot of our stairs," but my nan always got things slightly arse about face.

 

Another, when somebody couldn't do something (usually somebody famous) was "She couldn't sing for toffee apples," once again it's apparently usually apples!

[johnny boy68 11,726]

About as much use as a cow with a gun.

 

I'll do it now in a minute.

[Lenmcharristar 9,721]

He's that tight, if he was a plank he wouldn't even give you a skelf.

[Mister Gain 1,764]

Back in the early 70's there was an older driver at the depot, and if you turned up for work having used after shave or deoderant, he would tell you 'You stink worse than a pox doctors clerk', or 'you smell like a Turkish brothel keeper's underpants'.

[Blackbriar 8,569]

Back in the early 70's there was an older driver at the depot, and if you turned up for work having used after shave or deoderant, he would tell you 'You stink worse than a pox doctors clerk', or 'you smell like a Turkish brothel keeper's underpants'.

My wife's brother would say you "smell like a tart's handbag."

[Blackbriar 8,569]

I've heard something useless described as being "like a chocolate teapot" or a "chocolate fire guard".

[Lab 10,979]

A bad driver....."couldny drive a pig tae the market"

 

If I called me mum 'she'......she would say "who's she, the cats mither?"

 

At dinner time my grandad would say "well that's good if a do say so myself"

 

Another one my grandad would say would be if something went wrong with my car....."it's a pig in a poke!"

[mushroom 12,827]

Toe rag, shirtlifter,

 

Ran away with a black man.