Lusitano 294 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 It's not the quantity of time but the quality of time you have with your kids... My father was around but he might Aswell not have been and to this day we don't get on! He made zero effort then and now it's to late! I have my own son who is only 18months old, I make sure that I make the most of the time I do have with him whilst working every hour under the sun to make sure the mortgage is paid and he has everything he needs. I can honestly say I have the most amazing relationship with him, he is the only 1 that makes me a big softie and to hear him say "daddy" it melts my heart. God bless him! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 26,284 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 I'm same as bosun ,,,fatherhood later in life for me,,,first one at 35 ,,second at 42,,, and 3rd and final at 47 last September ,,hopefully with maturity ,,I'm a better dad than I would have been younger 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurcherman 887 13,176 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 Il be 35 when my boys 16 you always see the old couples with there kids they end up old before there time cant beat having them young imo Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jmilam08 193 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 (edited) What do you think you will be or are ??? I was away a lot when my kids were growing up and missed a fair bit of their lives and I Realy have to to take my hat off to my missus in bringing up well rounded polite and trouble free kids ... When I was around I was always busy or stressed or tired and I feel deep down I could have been a better dad ... Now as I get older I am mellowing a lot and have more time I think I will be a much better grandfather with more time to do things with my grandkids when they come along .... How do you fellas feel ... are you better grandparents than you were parents or do you think you will be a better grandparent than parent ..........Well I'm in a similar boat now working every hour under the sun to do a house up and pay for a wedding and other things and with working odd shifts rarely get any free time with my young daughter.Even when off work like you said there's a million and one things to around the house or garden for the animals and that's without fitting in any hunting time it's hard to donit all but she put te guilt trip on me last night by saying Yiu work to much and need to stay and play at home more as i was putting her to bed.safe to say they no how to pull on your heart strings and change your ways. Edited April 25, 2015 by jmilam08 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neems 2,406 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 Il be 35 when my boys 16 you always see the old couples with there kids they end up old before there time cant beat having them young imo i reckon the best way to do it is wait until you're in your 50's then knock up a 18 year old,she'll be young and energetic enough to do the vast majority of the work and you've already made your money and own your house. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cleanspade 3,323 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 i think i' am a good dad. love my kids to bits. ive four two boys one girl and an inbetween. they are 25/26/27/and 28. they love me back now best they can. so cant have been to bad to em. ive now got two lovely grandkids both boys. they are good fun to have around and keep the misses occupied . but its good to see em and its good to see the back of em. . grand kids arnt ours so we can teach them some bad habits. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,803 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 Shit at both! Not there very much when kids were growing up, split with Missus when they were 10 and 8, now I've got 2 grandkids 300+ miles away and see em once a year if I'm lucky (my fault), only thing I've done right is slip em a few quid when they needed it Cheers, D. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
s.e.s.k.u 1,893 Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 Socks you remind me of my father when I was growing up..He worked a lot of hours at the pit and a lot of the time we spent together mucking out horses/pigs collecting eggs etc he always seemed "stressed" looking back now I realise it was tiredness...but he instilled a work ethic in me that has stood me in good stead for the past 22 years I have been working. .now I am a father of four so god only knows how many grandkids I'll end up with lol...id best start saving up... atb sesku Quote Link to post Share on other sites
beast 1,884 Posted April 26, 2015 Report Share Posted April 26, 2015 I am another who had kids at a later age, I'm in my mid forties now and have a four year old and a six month old. I work long hours for not much money, but do everything I can for them. There isn't a night in her life that I haven't bathed and put my elder one to bed for example. Sometimes I wish I had them when I was younger simply because I had more energy and didn't get so tired but to be honest I'm just lucky to have such wonderful girls. I was lucky I guess because although he was from a generation which left child are to the women, my dad was incredibly hands on with us, and made so much time for us that I am lucky that I got that great example of how to be a dad. God bless him, I don't see him as much as I should and I really must make more of an effort... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 30,217 Posted April 27, 2015 Report Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) What do you think you will be or are ??? I was away a lot when my kids were growing up and missed a fair bit of their lives and I Realy have to to take my hat off to my missus in bringing up well rounded polite and trouble free kids ... When I was around I was always busy or stressed or tired and I feel deep down I could have been a better dad ... Now as I get older I am mellowing a lot and have more time I think I will be a much better grandfather with more time to do things with my grandkids when they come along .... How do you fellas feel ... are you better grandparents than you were parents or do you think you will be a better grandparent than parent .......... I dont think theres much lying in kids if you enjoy a good relationship with your kids once they are grown up it must be because they are happy with the job you did when they was young ?.....Im sure theres certain reasons they accept for not being around and theres reasons they wont accept........i was a complete disaster as a father and probably should never of had kids,which is brought home to me every day as they both have total contempt for me now they are young adults themself.........id love to have another crack at it and maybe the fact i,ll become a grandfather this summer for the first time is that chance....whether i,ll be any good at it who knows but there will be no lack of effort this time. The fact your mrs and kids are still with you suggests you did a good job and if the reason for your absence is what im thinking then like i say,kids are not stupid .....The mother of my kids was a good woman and like yours did a great job bringing them up to be good sensible grounded young adults.....shame on me she had to leave me to do it........from little bits ive read on here it sounds like you,ve been a good father Socks so only natural to presume you,ll make a good grandfather. Edited April 27, 2015 by gnasher16 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Slippery_Weasel 460 Posted April 27, 2015 Report Share Posted April 27, 2015 It's a very different dynamic being a parent to being a grandparent. I try and do loads of cool stuff with the kids and manage to make it home most nights but at the end of the day a roof needs keeping over their heads etc and that's my responsibility so to some extent that always has to come first. You also get all the discipline and daily grind type challenges as a parent. Grandparents on the whole get to do more of the fun stuff, spoil them etc without being the one that's got the responsibilities Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 9,938 Posted April 27, 2015 Report Share Posted April 27, 2015 I was never really a hands on father type ,I spend time with my son, lot of time with him . But suppose really deep down I am a selfish person, and only do what I want and i wanted . My son was never in to hunting , he loves my dogs, he got little jack x him self , but his love always been his wife + football watching/playing he good enough to go semi/pro think he might next season . over the years me+ wife watched /took him to games from 8 - 17 year old . My hunting with lurchers as been very big part of life, prob bit to much in some ways looking back, I took it to serious back then. but now I am older I dont take it as serious , and think a lot more about my son, as he the only 1 as well , where I prob only really love him as person. you might think what about your wife , well it a different feeling , because they were strangers who came in to your life to start with, but your son or daughter came from (you) . prob you don't understand what I am saying lol , but I know what I mean, and now me and my son get on very well, his mom been in hospital , they are very close but that's great to see 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
THE STIFFMEISTER 16,089 Posted April 27, 2015 Report Share Posted April 27, 2015 I wouldn't say I was the best dad in the world, for the first two years I was only ever around at weekends due to a similar thing as you socks indeed I barely seen her at all between April 2012 and christmas that year , we struggled to bond massively. But now we are all together I love having her around, she's my best mate, we go everywhere together , she spent Saturday night with me at work until her mother came to pick her up at midnight and she loves it. She loves coming down and seeing the lads and chilling my the restroom , looking at pictures or watching films. I take her everywhere we go, tattoo studios, shopping, the gym, she came to a wedding down in Kent a week ago and loved it. I hate the idea of palming her off to baby sitters or anything like that. I couldn't imagine not having her now. I wasn't fussed about having kids at all. But I can't remember my life before her. I was glad I was in my thirties and so was the misses though. Might sound selfish but when your nineteen r twenty with two kids you'll regret it imho, your twenties are for going out and getting leathered and get amongst a few tarts. Better to get it out of your system before regretting it all at thirty five and being that tragic guy who doesn't want to go home I am quite happy now for the wife to get all dolled up and go out with her pals, I couldn't care less now I have her. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,226 Posted April 27, 2015 Report Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) I just feel sorry for the child having a complete buffoon of a dad !!.........at least she will have me to phone to come and administer a few slaps when her dad gos off the Richter scale of idiot-ness !! Edited April 27, 2015 by WILF 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
THE STIFFMEISTER 16,089 Posted April 27, 2015 Report Share Posted April 27, 2015 Oh my god like, I didn't realise Ryan air flew to fantasy island 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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