Good Old Limericks!

[MoChara 1,632]

There was a young whore from Kilkenny,

Who charged two fucks for a penny,

For half of that sum,

You could bugger her bum,

An economy practised by many

 

There was an old Irish mick

whose cum was exceedingly thick

He could squeeze it out

And spray it about

But it stuck to the end of his dick.

 

There once was a hermit named Dave

Who Kept a dead whore in his cave

She was missing a tit

She smelled like shit

But think of the money he saved

 

There was an old woman from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than an hour

Her tits were a-flower

And her arse was covered with weeds

[hutch6 550]

There was a young lady from Eeling

Who had a peculiar feeling

So she laid on her back

Opened her crack

And peed all over the ceiling

 

There was a young girl called Denise

Whose pubes grew down to her knees

So the crabs got together

To knit her a sweater

So in winter her twat wouldn't freeze.

 

There was a young man from Brighton

Who said to his girl "Your'e a tight 'un!"

She said "Pardon my soul

But you're in the wrong hole

There's plenty of room in the right one!"

 

There was a young maid from Madras

Who possessed an incredible ass

Not rounded or pink

As you probably think

It was grey had long ears and ate grass.

[Skull Hooker 185]

There was a young preacher called Bings

Who spoke of religious things.

His secret desire

was a boy in the choir

With an arse like a jelly on springs

 

There was a young woman called Jill

tried a dynamite stick for a thrill.

They found her vagina

in North Carolina

and bits of her tits in Brazil

[Blackbriar 8,569]

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale

Were tattooed the prices of ale.

And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,

Was the same information in Braille !

 

 

There once was a man from Nantucket,

Whose wife had a ..............maybe not !

[Blackbriar 8,569]

There was a young whore from Kilkenny,

Who charged two fucks for a penny,

For half of that sum,

You could bugger her bum,

An economy practised by many.

 

 

 

 

And I thought I was acquainted with such a demure young lady !

[MoChara 1,632]

Ah now it's a one off blackbriar

[Chid 6,583]

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale

Were tattooed the prices of ale.

And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,

Was the same information in Braille

Thats Not a limerick

[irishnut 297]

There was an old woman from Madrid,

she claimed she'd never been rid,

along came an Italian with balls like a stallion,

and rid her like Billy the kid

[Brewman 1,192]

There was a man from Kildare

Who was shagging a girl on the stair

The banister broke

So he doubled his stroke

And finished her off in the air

[Blackbriar 8,569]

 

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale

Were tattooed the prices of ale.

And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,

Was the same information in Braille

Thats Not a limerick

 

 

 

 

Post removed.......

Edited March 17, 2015 by Blackbriar

[Blackbriar 8,569]

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale

Were tattooed the prices of ale.

And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,

Was the same information in Braille

Thats Not a limerick

 

You're right - I've just seen it. Apologies !

Should be a new line after "behind". I'll go to the bottom of the class........

Edited March 17, 2015 by Blackbriar

[j1985 1,984]

There once was a man from china

Who wasn't a very good climber

He slipped on a rock which chopped off his cock

And now he's got a vagina

[Tiercel 6,986]

The Cuckoo sits in the tall green grass.

It’s wings folded tightly, it’s beak up its ass.

Now in this position it can only say twit.

For it’s hard to say cuckoo with a beak full of $hit.

 

Anon

[Chid 6,583]

The Cuckoo sits in the tall green grass.

Its wings folded tightly, its beak up its ass.

Now in this position it can only say twit.

For its hard to say cuckoo with a beak full of $hit.

 

Anon

That's not a limerick either

[MoChara 1,632]

Headline!! Chid turns limerick nazi

 

Messing, You must have a few good ones tho chid get them up