Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 I mean; I've always found available materials and a spark up of my Zippo's done for me. But that's when ye in a situation ~ know what I mean? But when it becomes a daily and guaranteed part of ye daily existance - bit like flicking on a light switch? Then, believe me, ye look for the easier way. First Rains here ... well, ok; From the first f*ckin day I got here! ... I fast tried all the local, readily available fuels and lighting methods. I.e, I smashed up what wood worm riddled furnishings there were left about the place and torched them in the grate. It was that or we all die of freezing cold. Thankfully, I knew enough to uck out 25 gallons of historic Jackdaws nest first, or we'd all have likely died of Heat and smoke inhalation! But that would've been the time when I'd first, in my life, bought and tried some " Fire Lighters ". I bought " Zip ", obviously. Obvious to me, at least, because my life has taught me how ye get nothing in life for shit, but Shit. Pay less? Get shit. Pay more? In with a chance, at least! So, with the latest Rains and Cold looming, I was in some shop when I again noticed the 'Economy' priced boxes of fire lighters. " Homestead ", I think they were branded as? So, just for the craic, I bought a box. Presumably saved myself about 25c ? WHAT Utter Rubbish!!! Honest to f*ckin god! First time I tried to use them, I tore away the cardboard box and threw that in the grate. Then I opened the customary cellophane bag inside. (So far, so good) Then I gripped a 'length' of the damn things and snapped a row of ready scored, neat brickettes, ready to be further snapped into yet smaller bits of factory made 'Fire Lighters'. Only, I Didn't Snap. I f*ckin Crushed! And this slab of shit didn't Snap. It Disinter F*cking Grated!!! And nothing's changed since. In fact, I now find that, where as I used to just break a morsel of a Zip brickette off of the slab, then light that and leave it to light my kindling, I'm now chucking Huge Chunks of this powdering Shit into my range's belly ..... Then coming back to chuck Another handfull of the plasicky, fast burning, time wasting, couldn't start a fire in hells kitchen, stuff in there! I've half a mind to chuck the bloody lot in the fire place and just 'enjoy' the brief flash of stinking pyrotechnics, as it flares and melts like the polystirene it's probably f*cking based on. Chinese product, I wouldn't mind betting? Think I'll pick up another box of ZIP FIRELIGHTERS next time I'm in town. So; What's been Your experience? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pointer28 1 Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Exactly the same DS, It takes one ZIP to light a fire, but half a box of cheap shite to do the same, so it ends up costing you twice as much. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Ive found with any cheap firelighters Ditchy, open them when you dont need them....a few days before etc. For some reason they are slightly damp and are very hard to light, so i allow them to dry out in my airing cupboard then they work as good as any others MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 6,173 Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Why not just use kindling wood? Thin shards of very dry wood: I usually use bits of old planks split into thin pieces. Mind you, this is for an open fire: maybe ranges are different. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 So, it's not just me then, eh? I really have got half a mind to sling the rest of that shit, cut my losses and buy a new box of Zip. They last me an entire season as less than half a block does it. Skycat; Yeppers. Thing with a range is, it's like an oil drum with a small hole in the top. Ye putting ye hands down into what ever's going on in there. Soon as ye chuck the lighter in, that's the last chance ye have to do much else because flames are licking up towards the lid hole. I see my mate Dean 'O has a side opening door on his. But I haven't. There's a fixed grill blocking my side opening. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Magwitch Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Old cotton wool balls impregnated with vasoline just like napalm Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MOLLY Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 I use kindling and firelighters Skycat. I dont read newspapers and used to have to ask people to save them for me. The firelighters are much easier and quicker. Try what i said Ditchy, i guarantee it will work. MOLL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tiny tim 22 Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 fir cones....got a big bag lovely and dry better than firelighters and free Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest pikey Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 ditch shitter , TRY " DRUMMER FIRELIGHTERS" MADE IN IRELAND (CO. LOUTH) THERE TOP CLASS !! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted November 1, 2007 Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Can't say I've ever noticed Drummer ones, p***y. But I'll have a look for them next time I'm in town. I always buy Irish products where ever possible. Thanks for the heads up Moll; I have no airing cupboard and always open my 'lighters as soon as I get them home. These are purely and simply shit and that's all there is to it. They don't even break; They smash. They're just crap and I'll replace them. Tim; Fir cones sound like fun. Only I just have Sitka Spruce round here and they're not great droppers of very good cones. I like the idea though Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nell 1 Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 (edited) Presumably saved myself about 25c ? Sounds like false economy Edited November 2, 2007 by Nell Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted November 2, 2007 Report Share Posted November 2, 2007 Ye f*cking Right it was, Nell. That's exactly the point I was aiming at, mate. For the sake of about 15p, I've sent myself into a spiral of anger and frustration that f*cks me off every time I go to light that range. WHY?!? Well, actually; Truth to tell, it Was a little spontanious 'social experiment'. I had two things in mind there. 1/ That, by buying " Zip ", I was supporting the big boy. Bit like going to Tesco's, even though there's a family run corner shop closer to home. So I thought I'd give the little guy a try. 2/ ? I simply and genuinely wanted to find out what these 'replica' ones were like. I figured enough people must be buying them. So maybe they really were just as good, and without paying for the Name. FFS. How off base could I have been! See above ~ which, of course, ye have. " False economy " ? Complete waste of f*cking money, more like! Crazy thing is; All my life I have never bought cheap. I'm not and never have been 'rich'. 'Skint' better sums up my life. But for all that, I'd always go that extra mile to buy what I percieved as a decent product. Binatone and Alba are anathema to me. I know they're crap! Why the hell waste money on crap? Zippo, JVC, Russel Hobbs? Ye know ye getting what ye paying for. I guess I've just reached that point in life where I felt like challenging even what I Knew to be a truth. If I didn't try it, I'd never find out. And boy; Have I f*ckin found out! I've been right all along! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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