Jump to content

If Only You Were Closer!!!! Updated!


Recommended Posts

OK so I promised to do this about 2 weeks ago Photos will go on later ;)

 

My wonderful Journey started at 4am on a dark morning in Barcelona... I was making a coffee all relaxed when I decided to have a quick look at my flight on time etc... I had mistaken the time of my flight by 30 mins fuuck I'm late now

 

So racing across the city to the airport I made it with minutes to spar.... If I had to check in Turned out I had already checked in online and had 30 mins before the bloody plane departed So sweating after running how ever far it was to gate 56 I arrive feeling like a tit with no nipple.

 

So the first leg of the journey begins. Arriving in London all was well had a two hour wait for the National Express up to TOMO's everything is going great until I get on the bus, find myself a nice quiet seat at the back..... Then a lady sits next to me and won't bloody shut up. She's telling what pills she pops for her mental health issues, how much weed she smokes Jesus I think she even told me the start date of her next period ffs only in Blighty

 

Once I arrived in Nottingham I realise my phone has gone on the blink lol so I had to borrow crazy lady's phone

 

Picked up by Tomo's lovely mrs and away she carrried me to meet my new pup.

 

At this point I would like to say Tomo makes a mean cup of tea

 

So the plan now is to get the pup catch a train to London, stay at our kids and train to Harwich international first thing in the morning.

 

I have to say thanks to Tomo for taking me shopping to Morrissons to pick up some supplies Gravy, fruit gums, bacon, minty lamb ribs you get the idea

 

Then away on the train down to London..... When I arrived I should have met my brother at the train station but the wee fec had me stood in the middle of Liverpool St at midnight on a Saturday night waiting for an hour... London sucks ass and Brits pished up are cnuts

 

So when he finally arrived we went to his house and I got my head down for a couple of hours before leaving. It was at this point the pup first lived up to his name by trailing dog shit through our kids house The next morning was pretty uneventful caught the train no bother and made it to the ferry. The ease of this part of the journey I cannot express enough. It was a very simple, Trains pulls up next to the ferry and on ya go. The on-board kennels were spotlessly clean and comfortable with plenty of bedding and facilities for water.

 

The journey to Hook of Holland was so relaxing I would advise anyone to make it if traveling to Europe on foot with a dog. The price was really reasonable also.

 

Once in Holland I took a train to Rotterdam and went to find a bar dog, suitcase and shopping in tow I decided I was going to eat at a nice looking bar and stay there until close then go and sit in Rotterdam centraal and wait for my morning train.

So the dog being allowed in the bar was a bonus for me I could at least eat and drink in warmth so come the end of the night I made my way back to the station to relax for the night… or so I thought.

I had earlier spoken with the security staff in the train station and was told that staying in the station for the evening with the dog was no issue as I had a 200euro ticket for a high speed train that carries MEP’s to work :laugh: So around 2am I fed the pup went into the station to settle down for the night. It was bloody perishing, luckily I had the foresight to fetch my Bivvie bag in case it was nippy so I unfolded the bag onto the bench and sat on it to keep my arse from going numb and giving me piles in the morning. Got the pup tucked up next to me with my jacket around us both and the sleeping bag under my arse keeping it cosy, hat pulled down and beddy bobos time. Suddenly I felt the presence of someone standing over me so I lifted my hat to find myself surrounded by 3 police officers. The lady one was speaking in Dutch to me so when I asked if she could speak English she then proceeded to tell me how beautiful my dog was and if he was hungry she could easily provide some food for us both :laugh: after explaining I wasn’t homeless, the dog had just been fed and I had a train ticket for the morning she apologised for offending me ( told her no way was I offended I though it was extremely nice of her to actually care, we said our goodbyes then I pulled my hat down and off to the land of nod again tucked up with my new pal. Not more than 15 mins after the police I was rudely awoken by a fuuckin plastic cop (G4S tosspot) clapping like a spaz wanting an ice cream. I asked the cnut what his problem was and he replied you cannot sleep here…. WTF I have a a bloody ticket and your boss told me I could stay all night in the station. It was quite obvious this twit had been bullied at school from the fucktard look in his droopy eye and wasn’t going to let up “no you can sit but no sleep” he jabbers at me. I was fuuckin gobsmacked its 3am ya muppet I’m waiting for a train in 3 hours where am I supposed to sleep…. “why did you not get a hotel” he asks ffs what with the dog mate?? So after this the cnut wouldn’t leave me alone he kept walking past me for the rest of my time there so come 6am I was off for breakfast before the train looking like a turd warmed up… The pup on the other hand was well rested and bouncing around like Zebedee on wiz little cnut :laugh:

So I finally get my morning train to Paris via Brussels really feeling pretty gash and thinking this was all a terrible idea. One step on the train tells me I am way out of my league :laugh: Looking around I was surrounded by MEPS, businessmen and women all suited and booted and there’s me looking like stig of the dump with a lurcher in tow :laugh: Still I’ve paid the same as everyone else so fuckem I thought and went to take my place next to a very scary aristo looking woman who looked at the wee dickhead with disapprovement.

Once in Paris I could relax a while between trains to Montpellier take the dog for a stroll etc so off I pop. While stood outside letting the dog do his business I was approached by a Roma kid, 10 years old, not in school and begging for money because his parents make him. So being the kind hearted person I am I told him to do one :laugh: Nah I gave him a pack of fruit gums and some salt and vinegar squares :laugh:

When I got to the platform for my train a horrible bitch of a woman told me that I had to pay an extra 40 notes in her hand or I wouldn’t be getting on the train so with minutes to go I had no choice but to pay in cash as she refused to accept my card or give me a receipt (yes I have filed a complaint and am waiting for the response) Once on the train to Montpellier I relaxed with a bottle of Newkie Brown which the fecking dog knocked over after one sip :laugh: Which the Frenchy opposite was not amused about oh well….

Once arrived at Montpellier I had an hour to mill around before the train arrived, so Bron and me who by this time have bonded pretty well decide to go have a wander and a coffee while we wait. The wee fecker being the crazy little character that he is was instantly fussed over by everyone in the bloody bar (Bloody French), they had him jumping up, feeding him cheese etc :laugh: one of them wasn’t so happy when he jumped up and headbutted/nipped the guys nut sack trying to get to the piece of Brie on offer :laugh:

So the time came to go and catch the train which arrived promptly and off we went. My ticket was for Perpignan then I was to catch another train direct to my home….. So long story short I fell asleep :laugh: I woke up about 1-2 hours on the wrong side of the Spanish/French border at a station called Port Bou, the train doors open and there waiting for me are 5 National police officers “passport for you and the dog” so I hand them over he looks at mine no probs looks at the dogs and shouts “fuckinell” in Spanish this dog is called Dickhead he exclaimed :laugh: then another copper starts about how you can see the pups ribs and I should feed him lol when one of the other coppers turns to his mate and says “do you hunt?” then shut up that pup is in perfect condition pmsl turns out this copper hunts with galgos here and he was very interested in my pup gave him a good look over and asked about the line etc. All this time I was shitting myself as my train ticket was not valid for this station lol I shouldn’t have bothered really as they just waved me on after I got the approval of the other copper. The last train took me to literally a 5 min walk from my front door……..

 

A big thank you to all involved (you know who you are ;) ) I really couldn’t have done it without your support and help.

 

If only you were fuckincloser PMSL :laugh:

Edited by mushroom
  • Like 16
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Replies 47
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

OK so I promised to do this about 2 weeks ago Photos will go on later   My wonderful Journey started at 4am on a dark morning in Barcelona... I was making a coffee all relaxed when I decided to hav

Can a mod please move this to the appropriate foxhound section

It's not a thread without pics........   I'm a bit disappointed to be honest,,,,I was praying the c**t would shit ,,piss and howl all the way back,,,obviously he got all that his system living with

Posted Images

It's not a thread without pics........

 

I'm a bit disappointed to be honest,,,,I was praying the c**t would shit ,,piss and howl all the way back,,,obviously he got all that his system living with me....little fecker..lol

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.


×
×
  • Create New...