forest of dean redneck 11,643 Posted October 22, 2014 Report Share Posted October 22, 2014 Change the locks, feed her shoes to the dogs and shag her sister Or mother. Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RemyBolt 420 Posted October 22, 2014 Report Share Posted October 22, 2014 I'd take the week to do all the think I wanted to do. Then when she came back, I'd bend her over, give her what for, then pop off camping for a week! No point being away from the house too long if you've got it all to yourself! Think it out. You'll be able to do all the things she goes mental at you for. You can pee in the sink, crap with the door open, go all week without showering, sleep diagonally on the bed, sleep on the sofa in front of the fire with empty cans of beer around the place and then you wake up realising the only reason you slept on the sofa was because you were too drunk to make it back up the stairs...good job you were prepared and had an extra blanket on the sofa ahead of time. Hell, you can even leave wet towels on the bed! Empty pizza boxes on the kitchen surfaces. As long as you hire a house cleaner for just before she gets home....WINNER!!! Last time the wife was away, I decided to check what was behind the electric fireplace. So I took it out and smashed it through with my kettle-bell. Turns out there's a massive fireplace hole behind it and it might have been a pretty damn big job to sort. But I wasn't in the mood for that. Thank goodness the electric fireplace still fits. All I had to do was bury all the bricks that I smashed out...or I may have just hidden them back behind the electric fireplace....who knows. Anyway, yeah, use this opportunity to not get told off. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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