PIL 7 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Police work must have a modicum of entertainment as well as being dangerous. Recently in Victoria, a female police officer arrested Patrick LAWRENCE, a 22 year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), LAWRENCE was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication. LAWRENCE explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session, he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well, there was no one around for miles - or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around..." he stated. ... LAWRENCE went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, LAWRENCE failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior Constable Brenda TAYLOR approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Senior Constable TAYLOR. 'I walked up to LAWRENCE - and he's just banging away at this pumpkin...' Senior Constable TAYLOR went on to describe what happened when she approached LAWRENCE... "I said; 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?" "LAWRENCE froze, and was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked me straight in the eye and said, 'A pumpkin? Shit - is it midnight already?" The court (and the magistrate) could not contain their mirth. The Geelong Post wrote an article describing this as "The best come-back line" ever... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
yorkshire 151 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Thanks for sharing lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOPPER 1,809 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 brilliant Quote Link to post Share on other sites
vanman1 411 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 quality lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 you couldnt make that up Quote Link to post Share on other sites
clipo 871 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 talk about putting the pump into pumpkin lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PIL 7 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Bet there's a few on here that will be trying it out anyone spring to mind ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abarrett 462 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 When are pumpkins in season Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PIL 7 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 Bet there's a few on here that will be trying it out anyone spring to mind ? Ruby Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trigger2 3,141 Posted June 7, 2014 Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
squab 2,875 Posted June 7, 2014 Report Share Posted June 7, 2014 When are pumpkins in season never mind the pumpkin,get yourself a pint glass stuffed full of warm liver,now thats the way to go lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PIL 7 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 When are pumpkins in season never mind the pumpkin,get yourself a pint glass stuffed full of warm liver,now thats the way to go lolwhatever floats your boat Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bobcullen79 1,495 Posted June 8, 2014 Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 Like that one I heard on one of the english police shows. After the youth was put in hand cuffs, just as he was getting patted down, the copper asked "Do you have anything on you, you shouldnt have? And the lad replied, "Yeah, a load of old bill" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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