Outlaw Pete 2,224 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Epic F**king Fail!!! Just took my Dogs for their walk. As is customary, on the way back I let them off their leads so they can mooch about a bit and explore shit. They tend to like going down onto the little, middle field and round the cattle crush. I don't know why. They just like it there. Today was no exception. What was exceptional though was the yellow peril sniffing hard at a pile of brash. Then he pounced! Surprisingly, I was pretty unconcerned that he'd finally caught one of the pheasants round here. I'd really rather he hadn't. But, I wasn't going to break my heart over it. Then, Pesticle stuck her face in and unleashed hell!!! Because, I first registered the big ball of indeterminate fur. Then I clocked the unmistakable f**king Black and White face coming out of it!!! Somehow, " I shit my f**king self " just doesn't cut it! I managed to drag The Pesticle the f**k out of there. I don't even remember what happened to the yellow Dog. Just blood on his nose. Dragged them all off home and grabbed my shotgun. Loaded with Buck. I was about to go hunting bear! Raced back up there, twelve bore. Hay fork. Flash light. Pull the brash apart. Expose that head and blow it off. This f**ker was a danger to my Dogs! Dug about a bit with the fork and there he was! Clearly in view. Four foot away. Actually not much bigger than a pet type terrier. And the little f**ker was visibly shaking like a leaf. No where to go. So it dug its little snout into the ground and trembled. FFS. I got the gun and sighted its head down the barrel. Slipped the safety off and just crouched there. Watching this terrified little thing watching me watching it. Waiting. F**k it. F**k That! I haven't got the mental age of a sixteen year old any more. I don't need to just kill every f**king thing. I accept the size of my dick. Firing wouldn't have made it any bigger. So, I put the gun down. Wiggled the rake handle in its face, to show it this was a Bad place to be. And it better not f**king be there tomorrow. Grunted. And came home. Okay. So I'm Not a Cold Blooded Killer. I can live with that. Oh; And here's the obligatory photo. " Pesticle; Worked and Blooded to Badger " FFS ..... Yeah. That's it. Over her right eye. Hardly needed me to go all Michael Corleone over it, did it? 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Astanley 11,580 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Good man Pete . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Is this a story or a true event? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stabba 10,745 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Top marks for leaving it alone Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sussex 5,777 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Right move Pete ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
clipo 871 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 no point in killing cubs/young of any species pete........fair play....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 47,679 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 That dogs an article ! Lol lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Huan72 687 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 And so shines a bright deed in a weary world, nice one Pete Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Brewman 1,192 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Top man Pete. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
General lee 979 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Right thing to do no need to kill it for the sake of it I like that dog as well Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 and to think this time last week you would`nt of even been able to see the fooking thing.......good old spec savers 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,735 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Funny didn't think she could catch a cold. And letting the young one go defines true countryman . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,149 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 and to think this time last week you would`nt of even been able to see the fooking thing.......good old spec savers He'd have thought it was a f***ing chess board........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bracken boy 584 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 Great read, well done. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 And apparently all hunters are savage according to antis? Nice one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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