Did You Jump

[christian71 3,187]

Paddy was telling Mick about taking his first parachute jump.

"When I got to the door I couldn't jump. The 6'7" man mountain black instructor unzipped his fly and dropped out his 14 incher and said 'If you don't jump you're gonna get this baby right up your arse'.".

Mick says, "Did you jump?".

 

 

Paddy says, "A bit, when it first went in".

 

[leegreen 2,182]

Stick to the pictures mate .

[smithie 2,443]

A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a
new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is
placed at the top of the woman's head - which could be
turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of
a brand new face-lift.


Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'


Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the
knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman
remained young looking and vibrant.


After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon
with two problems.


'All these years, everything has been working just fine.
I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always
loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying
problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my
eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.'


The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't
bags - those are your breasts.'


She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking
about the goatee.'