Re The Job

[Squirrel_Basher 17,100]

I would love to read a few stories of happenings that occured whilst youve been in the job .Ill start you off .

 

Years ago when i was a beat keeper,lamping was done on a rota of the estate i was on.The headkeepers son and two underkeepers were a team whilst myself another beat and the head were another and we did one week on one week off all year round .The heads subaru was our transport and we got everywhere in it with him driving.Bloody cold and boring as hell some nights.He was very old school being in his sixties back then .i was only 22 so that 25 years ago!. As i said our driver was the head ,i shot with a lamper on the back next to me .We sat on a plank across the back ,lamp plugged in to the fag lighter .This particular night we were all tired from a very long weekend shooting , hosting dignitories from the Arab states who required we clean their kit as well as their guns .They were mad keen on numbers but thats another story .We had a brace of foxes and a few various from the boundaries before we tried the last tennant farm at the extremity of the land .We pulled into a gateway ,light on and head says out the window to us he saw eyes down in a corner as the lamper flicked round.We mutter something he cant hear as we,re fed up now and off he drives to it .About 200 yds away lamp on and sure enough a very bright pair of eyes on top a stone wall, driver stops as was the done thing when lamp stayed fixed on a spot .Im looking at it through the scope and i lean in the cab to tell head it aint a fox to which he says ,got to be shoot it anyway .Some of you will be surprised at his gung ho attitude but he was old school as said lol.Im still not convinced and tell him to drive on to which i get sworn at ,we,re all tired mind and he stops at about 90yds away .Lamp on and rifle on the bag of sand for me to look again and i nearly cried out .Lamper saw it too .A women feeding a goat kid held to her chest and watching us as she fed it ffs.Nearly ,very nearly .Head bollocked her and she hurried indoors .The head said, the less said about that the better and never mentioned it again for as long as i was there .He never questioned the shooter again though im told .

[Froudy 40]

That was bloody lucky mate could of ended up badly

[Squirrel_Basher 17,100]

Must be some boring lives lead out there.185 views lol.Does no-one have a tail to tell .I could write a book on my 8 years at it .

[Born Hunter 17,783]

Christ! That could have been 10 yrs of your life you'd never get back! It'd have been easy to just pull the trigger under the boss' pressure.

[RubyTex 1,957]

Not so much on the job but doing a spot of fishing on one of the lakes with the underkeeper, he went off for a slash and a decent carp took his bait while he was in the bushes. By the time I grabbed his rod the line had snapped on the rocks and his float (a cork!) was about 30 feet away, the light was fading and it looked like it was moving so I thought i'll have some fun here and had him absolutely convinced the carp was still on the line I fished on and he's adamant the fish was on so I said well go and get it...no waders on us, so down to his boxers and in he goes right up to his tits.....to a cork with no carp on the end Fooking freezing

[danw 1,748]

Gets a call from the boss at about 11pm one night He says "Dan I think I saw a light on top the hill could you go have a look" aye boss so grabs the shepherds and lamp jump in the truck and set off when I get up there there is a blue ford KA and a discovery parked in the field I flick the lamp on and there is this balding old geezer going like fook into what I presume is some bint so I shouts out the landy for him to move the truck and f**k off then I clock it what he is banging has a f***ing goaty beard pair of dirty b*****ds.I head back and ring the boss telling him it was a pair of queers and that I'm just off the now to burn my eyes out with a not iron since no man should ever have to witness what I've just seen

From that day on it has become one of his favourite stories to tell the guns and every time he tells it it gets worse he still nearly chokes laughing the b*****d

[Squirrel_Basher 17,100]

Seen a few steamed up windows myself but luckily no ass bandits.On nights when the head couldnt be assed to get out he used to hide a set of catseyes somewhere on the estate where we were due and if we coudnt tell him where they were we had to have a f***ing good reason why we hadnt found them so that was priority .About an hour after dark we used to shine the light around the heads lower windows and then get off for some sleep in a vacant shepherds caravan ,Back out for midnight and shine in his top windows then a belt round on the quad to find the catseyes if we hadnt found them yet.For those of you who havnt been on the rearing field since 4 am then told you have to go lamping its a heavy chore that the body can do without.We did find the odd fox obviously but the catseyes were the main concern .Old bugger put them on the caravan steps a few times so he knew the score there .lol

[gonetoearth 5,144]

Out feeding in a big plantation we had cut a ride right round the top which wound its way back around to a walk path that had been cut many many years ago for his LS to walk. Away. There i was feed bag whistling away. Then i heard it a blood curdling scream like ive never heard in all my sixteen years on the planet. The hairs on the back of me neck stood up. As the scream sent poults running like a scean. Out of jurassic Park lol they scattered under every roady bush. I stood looking round looking up into the big beach Canopy , i then fed them at a jog whistling as i went. As. I ran down the old coach road lol i heard the scream behind me I arrived at HQ. Banged on the door the boss man stared at me and said you seen a ghost lol i burst into the tale of the Scream in the big wood. Out we went jumped in to the landy and chugged up the 2 miles to the wood. It was a late summers evening mist was rising over the canopy as we walked down. The old path SG 's at the ready There was not a poult to be seen. Then the scream rang out i turned to look at the boss " what the fook was that " see see i told you as a white ghost like object came gliding toward us. Bang bang it hit the deck i legged it over. A great big white COCKATOO lay on the round legs up in the air. " BURY THE FOOKER ". Next morning i was walking back through the village for me breakfast as one of the old women was walking to wards me. With a bird cage whistling and shouting " ARCHIE ARCHIE ". Oh fook i mumbled to me self head down as she said morning you have not seen a white umbrella cockatoo have you dear , i nearly choked. No no. Ere whats an umberrella cockatoo She then went on to tell me the story of her brother the sea captain and his travels and his gift as. A blue landy came to wards me then stopped suddenly and done a u turn and fooked of in the other direction when the driver seen the old lady with a empty parrot cage in her hand. For twelve months we avoided the lady till the heat died down lol

[the monkey 339]

was out lamping ,I was lamp and. bag man...I went out with two lads regularly ..they would rim fire the rabbits an I had the rucksack and lurcher..the dog either retrieved the shot rabbit or caught the runners.as the night wore on and the bag heavier we had a couple of rabbits squealing when the dog retrieved them..we started catching the yellow eye shine of something watching us..always keeping a field away..onward we marched and the eyes kept following us.further up there was a bend in the river and the animal following us was trapped in the bend field. it was in the next field we could see glimpses of the eyes.both gun men looked through the scope but never got a clear view of the dark shape.turned into the next field and shone the lamp down the hedge.there was a big black shape...I squeaked it and it turned and ran straight at us.my dog bolted backwards pulling me over and the other two just froze.....it was only 20 yrds off us and on us in seconds..as I had the lamp when I fell there was no light. it ran straight past the two gun men and stopped at me...........it happened that quick, I was rolling around in the mud with a lurcher trying to drag me off.....I thought it was a big cat just about to maul me ...but there was a black Labrador looking at me in the mud..never shit myself so much in my life..

it had a collar on and when we rang the owner it had been lost earler that day

[DIDO.1 22,844]

found a suicide in a car when keepering and 1 when on hound exercise.

 

had a helicopter crash on the moor, i was kicking off at the police cos they wouldnt let me go up and check my traps just as they carried a body down the track, I shut up and apologised as best I could.

[stando 177]

Back in the day's before "night vision" we had a problem fox that was very switched on and lamp shy so no chance of a shot with the rifle the head keeper told me and his son to try and get it with my lurchers (he used to hate running dog's until he saw mine go ) so off we set, on a perfect night with a good breeze and light drizzle, we must have been out for a good hour when we bumped into it and after a tidy run the problem fox was no more!!!!

we started to make our way back to the cottage when we saw a set of headlight's pull up just of the lane so we decided to go up and have a look, just as we get through the gate we see it's a cop car, now were really intrigued, we go over and have a nose and bugger me there is an older copper snogging a younger wpc, well we couldn't help ourselves, got about 50yds back and banged the lamp on, big mistake, they didn't see the funny side and don't ask me why, because we hadn't done anything wrong but we ran like hell now this old sod didn't give up, for about an hour they were driving around the lanes looking for us by which time we were back in my cottage watching from the window

The next morning the headkeeper ask's if we saw any "poacher's" about??? the copper told him that they had seen some last night and were chasing them about :laugh:

[Squirrel_Basher 17,100]

Where i worked was very near a well known agricultural college and unfortunately some of these lads took to poaching the coverts near them with airguns and leaving tell tale piles of feathers and footprints .We had the tip off from a lad whose dad drove a tractor on the estate and who half knew who was doing the poaching through their bragging .As it was a cold covert anyway ,only the odd old cock bird , we put it off until one evening after a particularly long shoot day the head says to us ,"maybe its time to show these college boys whos in charge". It was a thursday night and Mike and myself knew it would be a no show but went anyway .Stayed looking until midnight ,the method was to walk stop listen but nothing happened so off we went .Friday night however we were in the covert before dark with good odds of a show .6 pm came then 7 and 8 and we met to chat in whispers .A car pulled up on the main road about 100yds away and then silence .Around this covert like many others on the estate theres a planting of rhodedendrons and we sank back into these to wait and watch .Wasnt long before the hushed nervous laughing of a group of lads were heard in the wood and wasnt long before a torch came on with more nervous talking .We had at our side base ball bats which we always carried on night duty .A few whispers between us and off we went .Me to the car and mike to stay put and give it 10 minutes .I let the tyres down whipped all 4 valves out and stood just to ones side of a gap in a hedge they would take coming back, right by the car ,a renault 5 .Mike agreed to be the frightener which as it turned out was to be an understatement .i heard the shout from mike ,he was always good at hollering hounds and tonight it carried for miles lol.Heard the running from a long way and a lad approached me a bit taller than myself .He was the fastest i guess and i whacked him round the back of the thighs as he came through the gap to which he crumpled in a heap screaming .The others were nowhere to be seen until Mike hit the tail ender round the legs and on they came shouting in high pitched voices like girls really .I batted the first through the gap ,legs again then jabbed the other in the stomach as he stumbled over his mate .They were both hysterical but i said nothing .Calmly walked through the gap to meet Mike standing over a lad ,the gun man it transpired .Mike had the airgun now and we walked off without saying anything .

We heard plenty of threats through the grapevine but we know they never returned or any others for that matter ,its easy to see where birds are taken and footprints give away even the best .We did get the lurcher lads once too on the deer but thats another tale. May seem that we were scared of a face to face fight and youd be right .We were always told to go hard and quick then withdraw and it seemed to work .If you are one of those lads then age has taught me some graces and i apologies .