Whos The King Of Shite Jokes

[Blackbriar 8,569]

I often read the jokes by all three of them, and ask myself "Where would we be if we never had a laugh.....?"

 

 

And then the answer comes to me.............................

[TOMO 26,638]

 

 

 

THL , the forum irony forgot

I get you every time, my sense of humor.

defo lol!! they way stan set crofty up on the rabbits/watering can was nothing short of genuis

he's had some belters our Stanley over the years only c**t on here I've actually lost breath laughing at him that hard subtle and dry as f**k still a tit mind

Agreed ,,, proberbly the driest of dry wit on here,,, I'm the same baw,,,,sit giggling to myself ,,, with the mrs and kids giving me odd looks,,

[christian71 3,187]

I married my wife for her long legs and big tits.


Now she has long tits and big legs.

[TOMO 26,638]

Could be worse mate,,, she could have straight hair and curly teeth,,,

[christian71 3,187]

I was sitting on the toilet reading some graffiti on the wall.

"For the best £10 blow job of your life, call Sylvia," it said, and listed her phone number.

As I got back into bed, I thought, "My daughter's a right f***ing slag."

[walshie 2,804]

Romping into an early lead......

[RossM 8,121]

Bit harsh on shite jokes putting walshie in that category..........

[walshie 2,804]

The wife and I were watching an old video of Emannuelle last night. Halfway through, she got up, winked, went off to the bedroom and came back a few moments later. She posed in the doorway wearing only black undies and suspenders, then purred "Don't I look just like Sylvia Kristel?" "Mmmmmm," I replied, "you'd better get the vaseline, baby.""No need," she smiled, "I'm already pretty excited...." I said "It's to smear on my glasses."

[PIL 7]

Romping into an early lead......

you got my vote

[christian71 3,187]

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs

 

Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace

 

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

 

So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

 

[fireman 10,992]

I ain't voting,it'll only encourage them.

[christian71 3,187]

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, " Heres to spending the rest of
me Life, between the legs of my wife.!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary, " I won the prize for the Best toast of The Night."
She said, " Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast ?"
John said, " Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
" Oh, that is very nice indeed, John !" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said," John won the prize the other night at the pub
with a toast about you Mary."
She said, " Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been
in there twice in the last four years. " Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him
come, and the other time he fell asleep."

[Blackbriar 8,569]

The other week, my local newspaper held a pun competitiion.

I sent in 10 puns, in the hope that one of my puns would win............... but no pun in 10 did !

[Frann 882]

I like their jokes

[The one 8,503]

Walshies a clear winner with 75 % of the votes