The Romance of Being A Pest Controller

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Christ, I've had a gut full of this already! I'm sat here, in my living room. I have a bucket of stinking, disinfectent laced water. Into that murk I'm busy plunging about a hundred bloody Mouse Boxes. They're covered in shits of various types, inside and out. I'm having to painstakingly sponge them off and out with a cloth. I have the stinking things stacking up around me - I hate the smell of disinfectent - and the floors running wet. (It's ok; It's bare concrete in here and I have a mop). I can barely smoke a fag and I've stopped to write this and get it off my f*cking chest.

 

Barely a month goes by without some squeaky clean and enthusiastic little soul popping up and asking how to join our hallowed ranks, eh? They 'want a change'. You'll get a change alright! Try popping open a Snap E box to find the half mumified remains of a six month old f*cking mouse in it! :sick: Oh, and don't give me the old, " A proper Professional would never allow that to happen " routine either.

 

I Am 'A Proper Professional'. And that means I've spent half a night, last winter, crawling around behind some shit stinking cow shed, being pissed on by sheeting rain as I set boxes and traps by torch light, as the bloody mobile's rang and some lunatic's asked me to appear ten miles away and set some more in their living room!

 

Over a year and a half I must've been here now. And I'm only just starting to work on my Store Room. Up untill now it's simply been a locked room into which I slung my stuff - on the floor. Steptoe's place couldn't hold a candle to it. I managed to get a few shelves up in there. Put some Mouse Boxes away on them ..... and bloody swallows built nests right on top of them and showered shit down on them and everything below!

 

Season's about to kick off again and I need to clean up the stock that's not still out in some god forsaken farmyard. These boxes could be in someones kitchen any time now. Ye can't go plonking down dead mouse remains and bird shit next to someones box of Rice Crispies. So This sort of crap Has To take place. I'm a one man band, so no bugger calls me 'Boss' and I can't delegate this shit to 'The Lad' either. I'll just have to sit here for a few hours more yet, ucking dried up peanut butter out of traps and meticulously wiping down boxes and thus destroying half my labels. FFS! Then I'll need to relabel many of them and cart them back into my Store Room and put them all back on their new shelves. Then order a whole new roll of bloody labels!

 

There. THAT'S 'Pest Control' for ye. Think it's all laying in a fields edge with a .22, picking off late summer bunnies and getting paid a good whack for it? Dream on!

 

 

 

And, now that I've set the theme here? Let's here it from some more of my fellows. Come on, lads, I know there's tons of ye out there; Unvent that bile! Let's hear Your 'It never mentioned This in the Job Description!' beefs!

[Guest foxyforce1]

Damn right....dont get me wrong theres parts of the job that are great...but when i was up to my knees in about 5 years worth of dry dusty stinking pigeon shit today in a loft shoveling it into rubble sacks it would have been a great picture for all the "wannabies!" and guess what........i get to go back and do it again tommorrow!!!

 

cheers guys

[moley 115]

i spent the best part of this year walking round a moor shooting or netting bolted rabbits and some days just for a change i take the lurchers or setting traps and snares , i have to put up with midges and heat and beautiful surroundings, its not nice out there doing the job you love and getting paid a small fortune for the it, pest control , who would eh ?

[Ron Weasley 83]

I spent today scaping years worth of pigeon shit from a roof that was also littered in syringes and needles thrown from the windows of the surrounding flats.

 

Pleasant.

[trappa 518]

Good story ds. When its good its good, but when its bad its horrid. Theres been many times ive been close to packing it in. Many a time i really havent been able to feel my fingers or toes from the cold and ive been stood in a field literally freezing my bollocks off, thinking how the hell am i going to set another 150 mole traps today. And the day i nearly gassed myself with talunex came close to being an all time low ( nearly six feet low!)

Oh for a job in an office chatting up the secretary!

[TOMO 26,683]

Damn right....dont get me wrong theres parts of the job that are great...but when i was up to my knees in about 5 years worth of dry dusty stinking pigeon shit today in a loft shoveling it into rubble sacks it would have been a great picture for all the "wannabies!" and guess what........i get to go back and do it again tommorrow!!!

 

cheers guys

 

been there done that, i feel for ya mate . when i worked for a company a few year ago we did one in a belfree( spelling) at the top of a curch spire it took a week to do it

 

good post ditchy, there are some horible things to do.

 

as for moley he's just playing at it

 

full credit to ya if ya can get totaly away from , the bait box world and dealing with incect infestations i cant as yet but im working on it

 

one of the things i hate is dealing with is city foxes, i no most lads that hunt foxes will be thinking they would love it . but they can be a right pain in the arse.

[BRY 79]

going into a house thats full of bottles of piss and human shite all over the place, spraying or fogging, also going in after someone has been found dead on the floor and has been there for 2wks with flies everywhere shit up to the nines and carefull for the needles. (love them jobs lol) clearing a loft soiled with rat shite and piss thats so low u have to crawl into it.

 

yer its great being a pestie sometimes lol

 

 

Bry

[Leon 0]

Well I nearly broke my neck last week putting gull spikes around some chimneys on a three storey house, what working at height regulations??? and this week I've been p*ss wet through jet washing down after ferals..... oh the joys.....

[moley 115]

thats why i stear clear of the insects and town domestics , theres not as much money as a rural pester, but i prefer the working conditions

[Guest The Big Fish]

Ah Moley, you cant beat a good bit of wasping its almost a field sport of its own, especially when they start stinging

[Squirrel_Basher 17,100]

Whinging feckers ,all of you lol.

Theres good and bad in every job ,you just have to switch off when the goings not so rosey .

[Bona 0]

It surely cant be that bad, i am thinking about getting into the trade later in life and i realise that its not going to be all perfect every job is the same but there must be a Good point to the job and you must get the odd occasional job where you enjoy the work.

[Guest foxyforce1]

There are definitely good points to the job n when its good its great but think this thread is just aimed at the people who think its all shooting ferreting setting and checkin traps all day long.

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Actually, this thread was just aimed at me venting some bile because I'd had a hard day and the evening was fast turning itself into a nightmare too! But it's cracking fun, hearing others sounding off too!

 

Personally, I think I can handle most stuff quite happily. But f*cking Bird Shit?! Let's face it, lads; That stuff really Is the ultimate ball breaker, isn't it?

 

F*cking Hate it!

[richie 1]

BIRD SHIT... I WAS DOING A BOARD UP JOB FOR THE PLOICE ABOUT 6 YEARS AGO AT A HOUSE AFTER EVICTING SOME SQUATTERS. ALL OF A SUDDEN A PIGEON DECIDED TO EMPTY HIS ARSE RIGHT ON TOP OF ME, DOWN MY FACE AND IN MY MOUTH.. :sick:

 

I TASTED AMMONIA FOR THE NEXT 2/3 DAYS.