Malt 379 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 At my dads cremation in Southport we had a good service, I wrote the eulogy but the vicar delivered it (I couldn't) and we had three of his fav songs played, with Deno's Little 'ol Wine Drinker playing him down the castors and through the curtain.... Good send off.. So we lead out and take positions to speak to family and friends and me mam, seeing his old mates from Anfield, asked me to go over first whilst she spoke to some relations. Five of 'em made the trip and I thanked 'em for doing so. They said they wouldn't have missed it but unfortunately, one of 'em, Joe Keller, was ill in hospital and was unable to attend and was very upset about it. I was just replying that I'd try to call in and see him and tell him it was understandable and to get well soon. As I was speaking, one of the mates, Tony, looks up over my shoulder and exclaimed "Here's Joe"! We all turned to see Joe walking slowly on crutches up the pathway. He looked very poorly and very sad, especially as he had missed it. "I'm sorry lad", he said, "I've discharged myself from hospital to get here but they tried to stop me, or I would have made it". "Don't worry Joe", said Arthur looking him up and down, "It's not worth you goin home anyway and you'll miss f**k all then"!!! We all burst out laughing, even Joe and it set the mood for the rest of the day... Eat, drink and be merry, celebrate the life, don't mourn it.... Cracking post Bosun! Reminded me of my grandads funeral. A group of middle age blokes were sat round a table in the rugby club together, my nan told me they were blokes who had served their time as fabricators, welders, steel erectors, etc under him. I went over and spoke to them, apparently they were told they weren't allowed time off to come to the funeral because they were too busy, so on the day of the funeral they downed tools and walked out. One of them told me he'd told his bosses he was going and if he didn't have a job to go back to, so be it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 9,942 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 tried to be happy, and learned Hell of a lot along the way, and prob that's were I end up lol, try not to let the b*****ds grind you down as there 1000s out there that will Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,443 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Free at last 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,416 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 At my dads cremation in Southport we had a good service, I wrote the eulogy but the vicar delivered it (I couldn't) and we had three of his fav songs played, with Deno's Little 'ol Wine Drinker playing him down the castors and through the curtain.... Good send off.. So we lead out and take positions to speak to family and friends and me mam, seeing his old mates from Anfield, asked me to go over first whilst she spoke to some relations. Five of 'em made the trip and I thanked 'em for doing so. They said they wouldn't have missed it but unfortunately, one of 'em, Joe Keller, was ill in hospital and was unable to attend and was very upset about it. I was just replying that I'd try to call in and see him and tell him it was understandable and to get well soon. As I was speaking, one of the mates, Tony, looks up over my shoulder and exclaimed "Here's Joe"! We all turned to see Joe walking slowly on crutches up the pathway. He looked very poorly and very sad, especially as he had missed it. "I'm sorry lad", he said, "I've discharged myself from hospital to get here but they tried to stop me, or I would have made it". "Don't worry Joe", said Arthur looking him up and down, "It's not worth you goin home anyway and you'll miss f**k all then"!!! We all burst out laughing, even Joe and it set the mood for the rest of the day... Eat, drink and be merry, celebrate the life, don't mourn it.... I like that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted January 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 (edited) I was at a very very sad funeral years ago when there wasn't a dry eye in the church. As the poor mans brothers put the coffin on their shoulders to carry him out the priest put a song on the speakers "He aint heavy, he's my brother". I seen several people giggle. After that I always thought a great song for a funeral would be "staying alive" by the Bee Gees or Johnny Cashes version of "Hurt". As for a headstone ???? Any self respecting terrierman would have "Gone to ground" on his headstone and of course "gone to ground" blown on the day. when my mate was cremated as the coffin came in they played starman by bowie and when the coffin went through they played ghost town by the specials .... his 2 sons and his daughter said a few words i remember her saying my dad was a nutter and i`ll miss him summed him up really. Edited January 29, 2014 by the_stig Quote Link to post Share on other sites
j j m 6,548 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 gone to a better place,life on earth was sh..e Quote Link to post Share on other sites
clipo 871 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 allah akbar Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Joe67 239 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 test test test test, trying to post ffs, will this bug ever be fixed? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 9,942 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 gone to a better place,life on earth was sh..e Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twobob 1,497 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 earned it spent it enjoyed it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,804 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Been to several hunting men's funeral where the master has blown "Gone Away" Many years ago I used to have a book called " A small book of grave humour" shaped like a headstone. Best headstone inscription I can remember from it was - Here lies the body of Lester Moore Four bullets from a .44 No Less, No More. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 i told you i was sick Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keepdiggin 9,561 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 C U N T Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fireman 10,932 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 (edited) Went to a funeral once and a few others took their homes with them so it was a bit of a hippy convoy to tell the truth and we all got lost on the way to the crem,after a few curcits of an housing estate looking for the way out we were pulled by quite a few old bill motors blocking the road.I was on the leading bus when a sargent strode up to the bus and started giving it large to the driver,he just told him to feck off and slid his window shut,the bus door then flew open and this rather upset copper burst in and tripped over the open coffin complete with dead body in it ,he nearly fecking died himself at the sight and instead of him him getting thrown back out the door no one could move due to laughing to much at him .He freaked and jumped straight back out shouting all his boys to arms and saying they have a dead body in there,someone went out and explained it to the inspector who soon turned up and the sargent was sent back to his motor with plenty of mocking from both us and the other coppers and they showed us the way( they escorted us really) to the crem. Edited January 29, 2014 by fireman 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gonetoearth 5,144 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 When FR died they took his ashes to the top of the melbreak and blew GONE AWAY. Think PB got the same. CLASS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.