paulf 820 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 was in a club in Tenerife a few years ago and my mate was chatting up some bird as he was bent over chatting I saw him lift his arse in the air ..no I thought hes never going to fart whist trying to pull well he did alright and the horror on his face when he realised he followed through and it was running down his leg was priceless :bad: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,121 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 was in a club in Tenerife a few years ago and my mate was chatting up some bird as he was bent over chatting I saw him lift his arse in the air ..no I thought hes never going to fart whist trying to pull well he did alright and the horror on his face when he realised he followed through and it was running down his leg was priceless :bad: I farted and followed through one night in a bar, I'd just got there and I was f****d if I was going home to change, so in the toilet whipped the jeans off a bit soap & under the hot tap and scrub the gether, then to the hand dryer the look on folks faces as the came into the men's with me bolloc naked from the waist down with my jeans under the dryer just casually going "alright mate" to everyone that walked in. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paulf 820 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 I have done mate but until now kept it quiet I took my boxers off and shoved them in the sistern ..cleaned myself up and went commando for the rest of the night :yes: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,121 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 I have done mate but until now kept it quiet I took my boxers off and shoved them in the sistern ..cleaned myself up and went commando for the rest of the night :yes: I was f***ing commando!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 27,330 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 My brother would always shit in the woods when we were kids, then wipe his ass with his pants, my mum could never work out where all his pants were going lol 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jonesy 111 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 I was out scrapping one day,well i,d had a dodgy stomach all day,seen this skip and thought i,d have a rake about in it,pulled a couple radiators out and there was also a broken up cast bath got most of the bits on the truck but there was a big lump half buried under rubble so straining i pulled and honestly you,d think an elephant had shit in my boiler suit,i pulled down the street took my trousers and t shirt off and wiped my self down as best i could then put the boiler suit back on,i threw my clothes back in the skip,always wondered if any other scrapmen had seen the skip and had a rake about. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 I was doing a job for a customer last year it was a new build next door there was a house getting built harris fencing round it I was burstin one of the ones you no when you bend your knees it with splatter out lol so I quickly opened the fence and in side the house there was a bin the old metal ones full of rubbish I just kad ma erss on the side of it lol wipped ma erss with the girlfriend g string I had on the night before and went on my merry way pmsl only jokin aboot the g string but I was on a roll there) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 Dp Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 Dp Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 ffs lol grown men shitting themselfs 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 when we first got married i`d got a 9 month old pat dog deano in the house --- the mrs invited her mate and her husband over for a curry i`d set roaring fires in in the living and dining rooms we had a few beers in the living room deano was fast off in his bed by the fire we moved into the dining room to eat while we were gone deano took exception to her fur jacket which had been on the back of a chair and ripped the fooking thing to shreads ------- 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twobob 1,497 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 8 pints of strong bow 8 pints of guiness pound n arf of liquorice on a sunday afternoon when you got to go you got to go lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,121 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 when we first got married i`d got a 9 month old pat dog deano in the house --- the mrs invited her mate and her husband over for a curry i`d set roaring fires in in the living and dining rooms we had a few beers in the living room deano was fast off in his bed by the fire we moved into the dining room to eat while we were gone deano took exception to her fur jacket which had been on the back of a chair and ripped the fooking thing to shreads ------- My mate had a Russell, called jack, and if you shook anything at him and went "shaggy shaggy" he would hump f**k out of it, well one of our mates fell asleep pissed and we shook his head and uttered those magic words! Even better wee jack went in at the face and when my mate woke up his eye was stuck shut!! RIP jack 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
B.P.R 2,798 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 Got a lend of rm2508's electric shock collar... One of my mates said 'if you do it.. ill do it' ... So i clicked the setting onto 'vibrate' ... and put the prongs to my neck... and he pressed the button... 'OUCH' .. i shouted... kidding on it hurt... He put the prongs to his neck... and i whacked the setting onto 'shock' and clicked it upto max...100... Pressed the button... and his head shot back and twatted off the cupboards ... Fookin get it up ye lol... 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Brewman 1,192 Posted January 19, 2014 Report Share Posted January 19, 2014 Never laughed so much at a thread, fecken classics the lot of them Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.