Born Hunter 17,751 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Socks, do you think you would become more friendly with a son in law? In the future when things are more serious. I think your attitude is fairly sensible, I don't imagine your a complete c**t with them, just keep a healthy distance. Untill things get real serious being too chummy it can make things difficult if it all goes awry. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Malt, Baw, great posts and commendable attitudes. My daughter is only four and i'd like to think I can be a good enough father to bring her up right enough to make sound judgments in her future. I hear so many men with real attitudes toward their daughters future relationships, it really makes me wince, I only see it as both driving their child farther away from them and then seeing the wrong bloke out of spite. Rebellion is all too common in kids with overbearing fathers. I'm not saying it ain't hard to stand back mate, but I think back to when I was a certain age and certain things were exciting and new. If I was going out with a girl and having a great time exploring the 'birds and the bees' side of adult life and my parents started dictating what I could do or couldn't do with this girl, all it would have done is made me ignore them and carry on regardless. I think once you go down that path it sets a precedent and there may be other things that crop up in a kids life that they will hide from you. My mum had me at 17 and I had my eldest at 16, so my main goal was/is to make sure my kids have a bit more sense than I did while doing what all kids at that age are going to do. That itself is difficult. On the one hand you don't want your young adult kid thinking they were a mistake and shouldn't of happened, but on the other you have to ensure that they know how something so profound as having a kid can change your life at a time when you should be enjoying yourself without the ties and extra responsibility that having a kid brings. My mum was a nan at my age, so as things stand so far so good! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 It's got nothing to do with being an over bearing parent it's got to do with quietly letting the lad know where he stands when it comes to your daughter ... All three of my girls are sensible and wouldn't dream of dating some local scrote BUT that doesn't mean that I am going to completely ignore who they are seeing ... As a father I want to know that when my girls are out with their fella they are completely safe and I don't have to worry ... AS for driving them away it's the complete opposite ... Your daughters will always be daddy's little girl and they want to feel looked after and protected by their dad even if it jokingly telling the lad don't be late bringing her home I've got a gun you know ......... we are singing from the same hymn sheet mate Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Socks, do you think you would become more friendly with a son in law? In the future when things are more serious. I think your attitude is fairly sensible, I don't imagine your a complete c**t with them, just keep a healthy distance. Untill things get real serious being too chummy it can make things difficult if it all goes awry. When my girls get married I will treat the fella like my own son ... There is a world of difference between a boyfriend and a husband who she will hopefully be spending her life with ....... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Socks, do you think you would become more friendly with a son in law? In the future when things are more serious. I think your attitude is fairly sensible, I don't imagine your a complete c**t with them, just keep a healthy distance. Untill things get real serious being too chummy it can make things difficult if it all goes awry. Yeah I think it's sensible to keep a bit of distance until like you say things get a bit more serious.. My daughter has been going out with this lad off and on for a while now, but I only just met him this past boxing day for a few hours. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Socks, do you think you would become more friendly with a son in law? In the future when things are more serious. I think your attitude is fairly sensible, I don't imagine your a complete c**t with them, just keep a healthy distance. Untill things get real serious being too chummy it can make things difficult if it all goes awry. When my girls get married I will treat the fella like my own son ... There is a world of difference between a boyfriend and a husband who she will hopefully be spending her life with ....... I ran out of likes a while back but there's a few of your recent posts I agree with.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keepdiggin 9,559 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 I don't think I would ever be intimated by an over protective dad, I would play the game. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 What if was black Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Born Hunter 17,751 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 (edited) Socks, do you think you would become more friendly with a son in law? In the future when things are more serious. I think your attitude is fairly sensible, I don't imagine your a complete c**t with them, just keep a healthy distance. Untill things get real serious being too chummy it can make things difficult if it all goes awry. When my girls get married I will treat the fella like my own son ... There is a world of difference between a boyfriend and a husband who she will hopefully be spending her life with ....... That attitude reminds me of a friends fathers attitude, big rugby player and shooting man. I'm not going into details but he's a man I have a lot of respect for and get on well with now after a bit of history with his daughter. His daughter loves him and if your the 'right sort' you will want to prove to him you're worthy. Edited January 13, 2014 by Born Hunter 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 I don't think I would ever be intimated by an over protective dad, I would play the game. It's got nothing to do with being intimidated fella its got to do with having a healthy respect for the parents of the girl your dating ... Without that you won't get anywhere ....... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wullz 408 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 It's tough and I don't think there are any manuals on the subject, guess you have to go with your instincts? BUT in saying that, we can all spot a potential bad un.....I would like to think anyway! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Right the rain has stopped so I need to get the daddy gun out and go kill some tree rats ... Boyfriends always look at you worried when walk in the house with dead things and a gun ............... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 It's tough and I don't think there are any manuals on the subject, guess you have to go with your instincts? BUT in saying that, we can all spot a potential bad un.....I would like to think anyway! I dunno mate. Think of the mates you have or had. I know some right dodgy looking c**ts and they are diamond geezers. Lets face it, you don't get to pick their friends or boyfriends. They've been with them in some capacity long before you meet them. Easy for the daughter to advise them how to win over dad, if he's over powering, she'll say, dads a bit of an arse, just smile politely and agree with him. You don't see the real him. No matter how much you think you've scared him, that goes right out the window. I prefer to know all potential suitors before hand, get the lay of the land. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Meat 3,109 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 (edited) My son been well briefed already and they still kids, somebody fooks his sister about and it'll be his job to sort it Edited January 13, 2014 by Hot Meat 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stabba 10,745 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 There comes a time when your little girl turns into a grown woman. Dad's are often the last to spot this. My daughter will be 27 next and has just set up home with her boyfriend. A nice lad with no malice in him and if he remains so then there'll be no interference from me. I have an excellent relationship with my daughter and being an overbearing father could well jepordise that. She knows that whatever happens i'll be there for her whether good or bad. Love your daughter...but don't smother her. atb stabba 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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