Rake aboot 4,935 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 This one is also absolutely true !! I had a job, 8 or 9 years ago, delivering furniture and this particular day we took a Super King-size bed to this beautiful converted coach house, just outside Grantham. A very charming, and very tiny, lady answered the door and showed us in. She explained that the bed needed to (obviously) to go upstairs, and showed us to a spiral, oak staircase. Our hearts fell through the floor ! Long story short, it took us 40 minutes and much cussing to get the fecking thing into the bedroom and, by the time we'd finished, we'd been there an hour (time is money!). We give it the old "right we're off,love" and she says "Hang on a minute, my husband's got something for you". The old man appears from the other end of the house, and it's Geoff Capes!! He gave us a fiver each, but to add insult to injury, he says "I would have helped you, but I've got a bit of a bad back" C**T!! Geoff Capes is a dick. Met him years ago, an utter twat. Enlighten us.... Met him years ago at a highland games meet He was an utter ignorant arsehole. Everything was too much trouble and f**k trying to speak to him, ! you`d think you`d offered to shag his dog,, twisted faced prick. Big lad though,,, so I let him off Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 30,062 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) When i was young i had an uncle who was ugly as f**k but insisted on telling anyone who would listen he dated loads of beautiful women........he was a bit of a local face type who people kind of looked up to me included.....so i really wanted to believe what he said was true ..............This one time he told me and a bunch of my mates he was going steady with the blonde bird out of Abba .....i never really knew who she was as i never paid much attention to music,this one day me and my pals were on a bus when one said " theres your uncle and that bird over there "......i quickly looked round but only saw the back of her head....and she was certainly blonde......so i didnt think nothing of telling everyone my uncle was dating the blonde sort out of Abba...................until one day i found out the blonde bird from Abba was actually Bet from Leyton High Rd and had a face like a broken dinner plate !.............A few years later the same uncle showed me a picture in the screen compartment of his wallet of another beautiful model he was dating................i pulled the picture out and turned it over to see it had been cut out of the wank mag Parade !!!......................Needless to say he went just a touch red Edited September 24, 2013 by gnasher16 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 People who say there coming to organised charity events and then pull out at the last minute cause a 'job came up'...........Bullshit!!... Or people that go on about how much they can drink then turn up at an organised charity event and wreck the cup because they were pissed on three pints of fosters ........ BULLSHIT .................... he does have a point there lab ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 People who say there coming to organised charity events and then pull out at the last minute cause a 'job came up'...........Bullshit!!... Or people that go on about how much they can drink then turn up at an organised charity event and wreck the cup because they were pissed on three pints of fosters ........ BULLSHIT .................... he does have a point there lab ) You b*****d..... Sticking up for that Sheep shagger!! Now that's bullshit!! Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 9,872 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 This one is also absolutely true !! I had a job, 8 or 9 years ago, delivering furniture and this particular day we took a Super King-size bed to this beautiful converted coach house, just outside Grantham. A very charming, and very tiny, lady answered the door and showed us in. She explained that the bed needed to (obviously) to go upstairs, and showed us to a spiral, oak staircase. Our hearts fell through the floor ! Long story short, it took us 40 minutes and much cussing to get the fecking thing into the bedroom and, by the time we'd finished, we'd been there an hour (time is money!). We give it the old "right we're off,love" and she says "Hang on a minute, my husband's got something for you". The old man appears from the other end of the house, and it's Geoff Capes!! He gave us a fiver each, but to add insult to injury, he says "I would have helped you, but I've got a bit of a bad back" C**T!! Geoff Capes is a dick. Met him years ago, an utter twat. Enlighten us.... Met him years ago at a highland games meet He was an utter ignorant arsehole. Everything was too much trouble and f**k trying to speak to him, ! you`d think you`d offered to shag his dog,, twisted faced prick. Big lad though,,, so I let him off and bit strong with it aswell , he was knocked down a peg or 2 when he was doing some lifting at C/D , our strong man at our local brewy where iused to work, (beat) him loading full kegs of lager on to the bag of the lorry. i could lift few my self, but joe our lad was hell of a strong bloke , he was big but fast with it. He shook joe hand after , but you could see he didnt like it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 people who leave the site after spitting their dummy out and promising not to return but log on a few months later after the heats died down now thats BULLSHIT Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 This one is also absolutely true !! I had a job, 8 or 9 years ago, delivering furniture and this particular day we took a Super King-size bed to this beautiful converted coach house, just outside Grantham. A very charming, and very tiny, lady answered the door and showed us in. She explained that the bed needed to (obviously) to go upstairs, and showed us to a spiral, oak staircase. Our hearts fell through the floor ! Long story short, it took us 40 minutes and much cussing to get the fecking thing into the bedroom and, by the time we'd finished, we'd been there an hour (time is money!). We give it the old "right we're off,love" and she says "Hang on a minute, my husband's got something for you". The old man appears from the other end of the house, and it's Geoff Capes!! He gave us a fiver each, but to add insult to injury, he says "I would have helped you, but I've got a bit of a bad back" C**T!! Geoff Capes is a dick. Met him years ago, an utter twat. Enlighten us.... Met him years ago at a highland games meet He was an utter ignorant arsehole. Everything was too much trouble and f**k trying to speak to him, ! you`d think you`d offered to shag his dog,, twisted faced prick. Big lad though,,, so I let him off Me too, Rake! What with him having a bad back and that..................................... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 People who say there coming to organised charity events and then pull out at the last minute cause a 'job came up'...........Bullshit!!... Or people that go on about how much they can drink then turn up at an organised charity event and wreck the cup because they were pissed on three pints of fosters ........ BULLSHIT .................... he does have a point there lab )You b*****d..... Sticking up for that Sheep shagger!! Now that's bullshit!! Lol✌? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DeerhoundLurcherMan 997 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 When I wrongly got nicked last year for abh, before the interview and before I met my solicitor the copper sat me in an "out of order" interview room and told me she had clear CCTV of me bottling the ".victim". I wish Karl pilkington had burst through that door. BULLSHIT Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jf1970 328 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 i have a friend known as "two sheds fred". If you got one - he has two etc. he goes on holiday to Elevenerife. aye, and i bet he has a pet cockathree. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest norseman Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 hate when people say they drank themselves sober. f**k away off!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
leegreen 2,153 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 When i was young i had an uncle who was ugly as f**k but insisted on telling anyone who would listen he dated loads of beautiful women........he was a bit of a local face type who people kind of looked up to me included.....so i really wanted to believe what he said was true ..............This one time he told me and a bunch of my mates he was going steady with the blonde bird out of Abba .....i never really knew who she was as i never paid much attention to music,this one day me and my pals were on a bus when one said " theres your uncle and that bird over there "......i quickly looked round but only saw the back of her head....and she was certainly blonde......so i didnt think nothing of telling everyone my uncle was dating the blonde sort out of Abba...................until one day i found out the blonde bird from Abba was actually Bet from Leyton High Rd and had a face like a broken dinner plate ! You miss-herd him, I knew a Bet lived in Leyton High Rd and she worked in Asda. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dare 1,103 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Bullshitters need to be avoided they will bring nothing but trouble and find not only do the lie but talk way to much aswell. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boyo 1,398 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 when i was flapping the greyhounds and looking for a new dog same thing used to come out regular as clockwork of the sellers .ime telling you now this dog/ bitch has never been beaten to the bend .bollocks bollocks bollocks 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
just jack 998 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Known a few lads who bullshit heavily over the years.. Was in school with one lad who joined the army, came back with all these stories about loosing a toe to frostbite in Norway, told someone else he had a toe shot off in Iraq, etc.. Saw him down the beach a few years later all 10 toes intact! Knew another lad who used to come out with all sorts of things that was obvious bullshit.. He got pulled on it once and in embarresment said something like 'sorry lads, I've got a genuine problem with making stuff up, got taken to the doctors and everything when I was a kid..' One of my mates quick as a flash said, 'f**k off you bullshitting c**t, we don't believe you!' was he from Wales Mal? if so i think he could be telling the truth 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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