B.P.R 2,798 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) I was asking whin for one of his pups.... When i was after a non ped whippet.... ... BULLSHIT!!!!!!! Aye righto....ah heard you were beggin' for a pup...hands and knees job...pleading...and making promises of the kind a man should never make.... Aye thatll be right.... ... Edited September 24, 2013 by Blue Pocket Rocket Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 People who say there coming to organised charity events and then pull out at the last minute cause a 'job came up'...........Bullshit!!... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rake aboot 4,936 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 This one is also absolutely true !! I had a job, 8 or 9 years ago, delivering furniture and this particular day we took a Super King-size bed to this beautiful converted coach house, just outside Grantham. A very charming, and very tiny, lady answered the door and showed us in. She explained that the bed needed to (obviously) to go upstairs, and showed us to a spiral, oak staircase. Our hearts fell through the floor ! Long story short, it took us 40 minutes and much cussing to get the fecking thing into the bedroom and, by the time we'd finished, we'd been there an hour (time is money!). We give it the old "right we're off,love" and she says "Hang on a minute, my husband's got something for you". The old man appears from the other end of the house, and it's Geoff Capes!! He gave us a fiver each, but to add insult to injury, he says "I would have helped you, but I've got a bit of a bad back" C**T!! Geoff Capes is a dick. Met him years ago, an utter twat. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whippet 99 2,613 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 every day ,.on here....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jack.308 40 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Theres 2 keepers been out lamping the night before. I was talking to them and said howd you get on last night, Both at the same time 1 says 3 the other says 12 Was crying of laughter Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest foxpack Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 lad i knew years back always seemed to get gear while out lamping by himself ..another mate went with him 1 night and the dog never even ran the beam ,,just stood there ,,then decided to knock fxck out of a sheep,,,lol..legend, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Waz 4,274 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 beddy whippets can do fallow but my fave by a country mile ans its happend a few times is after hearing how good a dog is then seeing it doing shit and the owner says........ he/she has never done that before lollol Reminds me of the day I met probably the biggest bullshitting exporter of working terriers in the history of the working terrier. Also the day before with one of his disciples was much the same. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BORDERSCOT 3,816 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 This one is also absolutely true !! I had a job, 8 or 9 years ago, delivering furniture and this particular day we took a Super King-size bed to this beautiful converted coach house, just outside Grantham. A very charming, and very tiny, lady answered the door and showed us in. She explained that the bed needed to (obviously) to go upstairs, and showed us to a spiral, oak staircase. Our hearts fell through the floor ! Long story short, it took us 40 minutes and much cussing to get the fecking thing into the bedroom and, by the time we'd finished, we'd been there an hour (time is money!). We give it the old "right we're off,love" and she says "Hang on a minute, my husband's got something for you". The old man appears from the other end of the house, and it's Geoff Capes!! He gave us a fiver each, but to add insult to injury, he says "I would have helped you, but I've got a bit of a bad back" C**T!! Geoff Capes is a dick. Met him years ago, an utter twat. Enlighten us.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fireman 11,003 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 This one is also absolutely true !! I had a job, 8 or 9 years ago, delivering furniture and this particular day we took a Super King-size bed to this beautiful converted coach house, just outside Grantham. A very charming, and very tiny, lady answered the door and showed us in. She explained that the bed needed to (obviously) to go upstairs, and showed us to a spiral, oak staircase. Our hearts fell through the floor ! Long story short, it took us 40 minutes and much cussing to get the fecking thing into the bedroom and, by the time we'd finished, we'd been there an hour (time is money!). We give it the old "right we're off,love" and she says "Hang on a minute, my husband's got something for you". The old man appears from the other end of the house, and it's Geoff Capes!! He gave us a fiver each, but to add insult to injury, he says "I would have helped you, but I've got a bit of a bad back" C**T!! Geoff Capes is a dick. Met him years ago, an utter twat. Enlighten us.... Maybe he beat him in a budgie show , Jeff Capes was or still is a champion breeder of them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BIG G wheton machine 1,594 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 guy known up here for spoofing, heres a couple of his lines. got a new bike, all I need is a frame. my brother won the pool competition on the Liverpool boat. went ferreting the other day, got 2 n a half rabbits the other half got away Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Carraghs Gem 1,675 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 A guy trying to sell a cornish game x as a shamo, a woman trying to sell a pekin x as an aseel, local bollox trys to maintain hes a yank and wears american clothes, cowskin clogs, puts on a accent... Know for a fact hes never left the country. A fella at ballinasloe one year... Overnight poultry dealer bought 10 bantam cockerals as hens off a dealer i know... I nearly pissed myself laughing 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
patterdale666 1,620 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 A nutcase told me all about how he got rid of rats from his garden (He didnt get rid of the rubbish) He caught a rat in a cage trap poured petrol on it set it on fire and set it free only for it to run back to the nest and kill all the other rats He seemed offended when I told him hes full of shit Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 27,649 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Used to have a lad labouring for me about 10 years ago, what a f***ing bullshitter, I had no idea what was the truth or a lie.. He told some lads on site he had fought in the first Iraq war, he was 2 years younger than me and I was at school when that kicked off lol.. The final straw for me was when he told me his son was seriously ill in hospital and needed a couple of days off, one of his mates tells me he hasn't seen his son in a couple of years and there's nothing wrong with him.. Twat... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 People who say there coming to organised charity events and then pull out at the last minute cause a 'job came up'...........Bullshit!!... Or people that go on about how much they can drink then turn up at an organised charity event and wreck the cup because they were pissed on three pints of fosters ........ BULLSHIT .................... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 I had a guy working for me cash in hand a while back obviously I'm workin at customers houses , I tought i new the guy but heard he was a bit of a thief . In my line of work if your needin a pee you ask the customer so that's all I need Is a thief workin for me , so he was homing up to mine to get paid 150 pound so I made sure I was in the toilet when the door went!! chap chap just come in Andy I shouted I put a Tenner on the speaker out side the bathroom and blow down the back but you could still see it on the floor ,so he comes in I wait a couple of minutes comes out the bathroom the money's gone lol ( as I had hoped up 140 pound lol) I asked him where's that money he saids what money?, the money that was on the floor I asked him a fue times by that time the piss was boiling over he got some hammering that day and I forgot to get the money he nicked lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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