Lymerics, Please Add Your Own.

[Tiercel 6,986]

Here lies the grave of Mary Knox,

She gave ten thousand men the pox,

 

Soldiers,Sailors, men of Honour,

Gave up their lives to get upon her.

 

But now she's dead, but not forgotten,

Her love was pure but her cnut was rotten.

 

 

 

TC

[Tiercel 6,986]

Well this is going down like a lead ballon.

 

Try another.

 

The Cuckoo.

 

The Cuckoo sits in the tall green grass,

It's wings folded tightly it's beak up its ass.

 

Now in this position it can only say twit,

For it's hard to say Cuckoo with a beak full of $h!te.

 

TC

[scothunter 12,609]

there was a wee man from darjeeling who boarded a bus bound for ealing

saw on the door

please dont spit on the floor

so he stood up and spat on the ceiling

BOOM BOOM LOL

[skycat 6,174]

There was a young man from Poole,

Who had an enormous tool,

His girlfriend ran screaming

When she touched it one evening,

So he made out instead with a mule.

[B.P.R 2,798]

There was a young man from china...

 

Who thought he was a very good climber...

 

One day he slipped on a rock...

 

Split open his cockk...

 

And now he has a vagina!

[Tiercel 6,986]

My days of youth are over,

my torch of life is out.

What used to be my sex appeal

Is now my water spout.

 

It used to be amazing,

the way it would behave.

As early in the morning,

it stood and watched me shave.

 

As old age grows nearer,

it's size give me the blues.

To watch the poor thing hang it's head,

and watch me shine my shoes.

 

TC

[Hot Meat 3,109]

Ole Maggie Moore she was a whoore, she only charged two bob an hoor

The army came the navy went, they left her f#anny all bashed and bent

[scothunter 12,609]

Here lies the grave of Mary Knox,

She gave ten thousand men the pox,

 

Soldiers,Sailors, men of Honour,

Gave up their lives to get upon her.

 

But now she's dead, but not forgotten,

Her love was pure but her cnut was rotten.

 

 

 

TC

 

Here lies the grave of Mary Knox,

She gave ten thousand men the pox,

 

Soldiers,Sailors, men of Honour,

Gave up their lives to get upon her.

 

But now she's dead, but not forgotten,

Her love was pure but her cnut was rotten.

 

 

 

 

Here lies the bones of Mary Knox,

She gave ten thousand men the pox,

they f****d her sitting,they f****d her lying

and if she had wings,they would have f****d her flying

now shes dead not forgotten,they dug her up and f****d her rotten.

version up here in scotland lol

[Malt 379]

There was a young lady from Aberystwyth

 

Who had some rye to grist with

 

The millers son Jack, lay her on her back

 

And they united the organs they pissed with..

 

 

I remember that from a book of poems I had a flick through in the school library when I was a kid!

[stumfelter 3,034]

There was an old man from Belgrave

who kept a dead whore in a cave

he said "I admit I'm a bit of a shit,

but think of the money I'll save. "

[scothunter 12,609]

roses are red

pakis are brown

and when they go swimming

i want them to drown

 

 

 

 

im a bit of a racist

and a bit of a nob

but at least im not polish

and after your job!

[reaper1064 285]

There was a woman from Ealing.

Who had a peculiar feeling.

She laid on her back.

Opened her crack.

And pissed all over the ceiling.

[reaper1064 285]

Jack said Jill go get the pill I think we better 'Oughta.

But Jack the clown would not climb down.

And now they've got a daughter.

[youcanthide...BANG 1,051]

Uncle billy had a ten foot willy,

he showed it to the girl next door,

she thought it was a snake,

so hit it with a rake,

and now its only 4 foot 4

[haymin 2,465]

Does yir tits hang low can ya tie them in a bow can through them over yir shoulder like a regimental soldier ????