Pranks.....

[RossM 8,149]

My old foreman was an absolute prick, come over and turn your radio off telling you it was too loud, used to do my tits in, anyway one Saturday morning I went in and the c**t had cut the wire, right at the radio itself so I couldn't repair it, I was boiling so I cut the wire for his hand light into 6 inch lengths, nah still angry grabbed his diluting juice and emptied my bladder into it, on the Monday he came in and poured a juice, as he took the first sip I said "by the way I pissed in that, and if you touch anything of mine again I'll shite in your sandwiches," never touched my radio again the c**t.

[Brewman 1,192]

Dog shit on the doorstep covered in petrol light it ring doorbell and run. Watch someone answer the door and stamp out a fire.

 

Bro in law was an engineer in Saudi years ago, locals used brits to build a new mosque. It's got more bacon under the floor than your local tescos.

 

Unwrap sweets in bag cover in nail varnish remover then wrap up again. Bro did to me when i was a kid. tastes like shite. Fcukin vile.

[socks 32,253]

Empty the shampoo bottle and fill it full of veet ..........

[RossM 8,149]

Empty the shampoo bottle and fill it full of veet ..........

 

That would go down well!

[gonetoearth 5,144]

Cling film on the toilet seat at a party some old dear aunty of a mate walks in comes out all flusterd ive just peeed she says and it bounced back at me lol

Working away years ago sharing a room lad am sharing with right piss head all ways said " ive never pissed the bed so this night after a sesion up he stagers in the room i goes in about hour later makes a cup of tea could not help me self as the tea cools pull back his covers and pours the luke warm tea around him covers back over goes to sleep next morning

He comes down to breaky all sheepish the land lady come in. He gets up follows her out and tells he how he has never pissed the bed in all the years working away then gives her the money for a new mattress. Fook i sat there stum never told him lol hope he never reads this lol

Edited July 5, 2013 by gonetoearth

[albert64 1,882]

many years ago I was a f*cker for f*cking about

me and my mate were in a boozer one Friday teatime

so my mate goes I've got a great trick, go on then show me says I

all in good time, all in good time says he

so about 15mins later he starts giggling and looking sheepish

so i'm looking at him and he says your going to see my trick in a minute

next thing 4 firemen came in, now we used to do some pretty class trick on each other

so i'm thinking whats the c*nt done next thing there carrying a bloke out of the sh*thouse with the toilet seat stuck to his arse

yes he'd put super glue on the toilet seat we were p*ssing ourselves laughing

all we heard was GET OUT YOUR BARRED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

or the time I was barred from this boozer, but this day I had me head on me

the landlord was a wanker that get the barmaids to get your drinks off you cos he had no balls

so goes in mc donalds gets a burger and loads it with ketchup and mayo, it was like a tower burger

sticks two bangers in it with just the fuse but showing,

goes up to the bar and asks for a pint knowing full well theres no chance

the landlord tells the young lad not to serve me, the young lads shitting himself

so says to the young lad don't worry mate not your fault hes a wanker

and tells him not to touch the burger that is now sat on the bar with fuses lit

and walks out, i'd just got out the door and boom , i'm pissing myself waiting at the door as the landlord

runs out thinking I've gone the look on his face when he saw me still there

he was absolutely caked in burger ketchup and mayo

 

 

 

so went to mc donalds and got a burger and loaded it with

[scothunter 12,609]

used to put a mars bar down the arse of drunk mates trackies when we were younger melts a treat lol. the initial first reaction from them was hilarious.

[lanesra 4,007]

A Few Off Us Where Forever Catching Each Other . . Me And Taffey Off Here Torchered Each Other f**k Knows How Where Still Mates Lol . . 1 Off The Lads Caught Me And Was Taking The Piss So Not To Dissapointment Him I Repayed The Wind Up . . While He Was Out And His Kids Where At School I Broke Into His House And Removed Every Label From Every Tin In His Cupboards And Mixed Them About His Kids Said It Was Desperate At T Times , He Be Making Say Sausage And Chips And It Was A Lottery What The Tin He'd Decide To Open . . The Shout From The Kitchen Was Often "BASTAR.D . . PINEAPPLE CHUNKS"

[dai dogs 1,753]

..........

[Bendover 67]

One word.........laxitives

[pip1968 2,490]

order a pizza and lace his side with ghost peppers then sit back and piss ye self laughing

[the_stig 6,614]

my mate was a twat for sticking rizlas on you when you fell asleep then lighting the feckers

[Brewman 1,192]

A Few Off Us Where Forever Catching Each Other . . Me And Taffey Off Here Torchered Each Other f**k Knows How Where Still Mates Lol . . 1 Off The Lads Caught Me And Was Taking The Piss So Not To Dissapointment Him I Repayed The Wind Up . . While He Was Out And His Kids Where At School I Broke Into His House And Removed Every Label From Every Tin In His Cupboards And Mixed Them About His Kids Said It Was Desperate At T Times , He Be Making Say Sausage And Chips And It Was A Lottery What The Tin He'd Decide To Open . . The Shout From The Kitchen Was Often "BASTAR.D . . PINEAPPLE CHUNKS"

 

 

Funny as FCUK, pmsl at that one.

[neems 2,406]

I go for the tamer ones unless its revenge.

 

Tabasco in the underpants

Talc in the hair dryer

Soy sauce instead of coffee etc

 

If I tried some of these I'd end up killing someone lol

[Carraghs Gem 1,675]

Gravy granules in coffee jar, salt instead of sugar.. use weedkiller to write c**t on his lawn