blade1of1 59 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 I used to work for an old mate and he was a right cu.t for doing dirty tricks one ov his favorites was we would pull up at mcdonalds get the driver to go in for breakfasts then he would pull his pants down and rub his arse hole all over gear stick then when we would have breckie we would drive ov and al leave the rest to u and his favourite was he would go to wait till u went to toilet when we were in pub and he would rim your class with his be.. end dirty cu.t lol so a hope these help you baw god help ya mate if you do mate good luck 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 i used to work with some lads from wisbech and they told me about 2 lads who hated each other on a building site,these 2 lads would shit in each others gloves or rim their cups with bellend smeg its was getting out of hand.1 of the lads used to bring cereal in with a small bottle of milk,the other lad new this and brought a johnny in with jizz and tipped it into his milk the other lad came in for his break and ate his cereal plus milk with the other workers nearly throwing up.someone told him what had happened he left the job and nearly had a breakdown,a few weeks later the lad who jizzed in his milk seen the other lad in tescos with his wife and walked oer to him and started rubbing the lads stomach saying hows my baby coming on then 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 When we were kids we used to glue drawing pins to the latch type handles you used to get on alleyway doors .. The latch where you used your thumb to release the catch ... Anyway we would glue the drawing pins on at night and rub dog shit over it ... We would then rap like fukc on the door and wait for the angry resident to come thundering out opening the gate with venom lol .... Thumb pressed hard on drawing pin ... Sharp pain ... Thumb straight in mouth .... Lol you can guess the rest lol ............ 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jonah. 775 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 there's some f****n crackers in here....PMSL :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 If your ever looking after his house for a week Baw, holiday trick this one........water his carpet then throw down some water cress seeds and turn the heating full blast. Should come home to a lovely crop..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 wouldn't do it to a mate-- but I was working on a factory job we used to leave our snap in there works canteen we had our break after the factory workers had theres some kunt nicked my mars bar 2 days running that night I injected 2 mars bars with laxativ and dog wormer sure enough next day both mars bars went -- I don't who had then but by Friday no fecker was knicking them 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RubyTex 1,957 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 Some crackers FPMSL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 Some crackers FPMSL Tell us about the time you replaced the Darjeeling in mummy's tea caddy for Earl Grey. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 Some crackers FPMSL Tell us about the time you replaced the Darjeeling in mummy's tea caddy for Earl Grey. ....................He was in serious trouble with that. Mummy banned him from chess club for a whole month and he wasnt allowed in the library for two... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wullz 408 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 One of the lads from our rugby club landed a job abroad, couldnt refuse it, good money etc. Another one, a wee bit of a bampot, offerred to look after his flat, this bloke was notorious for wild parties, crazy escapades etc etc. Anyhoo, he convinced the boy to lend him the flat, soo off he went for a year. Came back, shittin bricks, thought the flat would be trashed. NOPE, the flat is immaculate, freshly painted, scatter cushions, groceries in the press and fridge the works, beds made, the lot.....cracking. But there is a note on the table....dear xxxx, thanks for the lend of the flat, had a cracking time, cheers xxxxx, PS FIND THE JOBBIE!!! Bloke freaks, looks everywhere, cant find the turd....checks everywhere, cupboards etc etc, no sign of the keech. Thinks its a wind up and relaxes...... Till 3 days later when he is putting the marge on his toast and the knife goes through the layer of marge right into a steaming great bum log.....the fekker had taken the marge out and replaced the bottom half with shoite..... Really nasty, he had been eating toast for three days..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
j1985 1,984 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 Used to work with a few painters when I was about 18 or so, they were notorious for windups!! First day I opened a tin of paint to find a shit on top, they once hid the t bags on a high shelf and by this time I was aware of the levels of nastiness involved in their pranks so instead of sticking my fingers in and grabbing a few out I got the whole box down to find two massive shit in it, then one put a shit behind a rad so when I rolled behind it I brought up a shitty roller and was left with a shitty wall. Then one told my dad and really done a good job of making him brlieve that they caught me wanking with my thumb up my arse in a portaloo the b*****ds, my dads mates ripped me. The mad part is it was their company and they had a massive contract with the crown properties owned by the f***ing queen!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 My ex's Dad is one of the biggest orangemen i have ever met.....hardcore. "Keep Scotland Prodestant" tattoos and shit.....you know the type. Anyway a few years back he got my mate ( a celtic fan) to lay a carpet in house. Little does he know that on ever step going upstairs on his underlay is "Henrik Larsson is King"............ I'm sure he will find it one day...... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Catcher 1 639 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 Find out the next time hes going out.Find some excuse to go round the night before.If you can get his boots.Put two plastic bag in them and fill with water.Then stick them in the freezer. .Mind and turn your phone of the next day. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blackmaggie 3,376 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) Just the old classics, clingfilm on toilet, butter/oil on floor tiles, coins glued to the floor, stealing the cup off local footie team and holding it to ransom, changing language on phone to arabic, paper macheing their car clingfilm over the toilet is a good one that never fails, across an open door at face height is another one but can be a pain getting it to stick in position without creases Think ill try that cling film one, c**ts hard to get though try firey jack on the toilet seat [ i dont think its not as strong as it use to be ] brother once tried to get me but got my old man funny watching him half cut keep rubbing it in even deeper Edited July 5, 2013 by blackmaggie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RubyTex 1,957 Posted July 5, 2013 Report Share Posted July 5, 2013 Some crackers FPMSL Tell us about the time you replaced the Darjeeling in mummy's tea caddy for Earl Grey. ....................He was in serious trouble with that. Mummy banned him from chess club for a whole month and he wasnt allowed in the library for two... PMSL...where this assumption that i'm a posh lad comes from is beyond me fecking library aye right! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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