paulus 26 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this April from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".Speaking from the shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are just not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."Spokespersons for the union in Liverpool, Middlesbrough, Essex, Glasgow and Australia stated that they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these areas anyway.Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 i can see this blowing up in their faces Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BIG G wheton machine 1,594 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 lolololol belter. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tilfertilfer 706 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 ffs paul i can see you getting banned for these type of posts Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 You really shouldn't joke about such things - they're a bit touchy, you know. Case in point - I burned a Koran at a local protest recently, and the Muslamics threatened to burn my house down!! The joke's on them,though - my house is full of Korans! 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paulus 26 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 i am having an Islamic moment, today i purchased new sandles and now i am compelled to hit the tv with one as Obama is on sky news Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Outlaw Pete 2,224 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 The joke's on them,though - my house is full of Korans! F**king priceless!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Shed in Tipton. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Shed in Tipton. ????????.......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
04fox8 168 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Shed in Tipton. ????????.......... It's where the al quaeda chief executive lives. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paulus 26 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Shed in Tipton. ????????.......... It's where the al quaeda chief executive lives. hes a very nice man Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Shed in Tipton. ????????.......... It's where the al quaeda chief executive lives. Well let's get down there!! You bring the matches, I've got a bit of petrol in the shed - it'll be a blast! Sorry! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Shed in Tipton. ????????.......... It's where the al quaeda chief executive lives. hes a very nice man He isn't!! His wife said she had heard rumours of him of being a paedophile. He said "That's a big word for a 6 year old!" 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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