Free Black Pudding :d

[OldhamLad 66]

Evening Lads,

 

My beddy/whippet is 8 and half months now and shes coming on brilliantly she's got the idea but needs a more experienced dog to show her the ropes! Just wondering if there's any lads here in the northwest to west Yorkshire way who fancy letting us come out with them, that's now for a bit of lamping/mouch or September come ferreting time!

 

About the black pudding lets just say I work at the world famous black pudding factory in Bury and ill source you at my expense some of the finest pudding in the land

 

 

[hawki 1,431]

Yea Pudding Pusher

[mike456 171]

i dont believe you,send me the pudding first.

[OldhamLad 66]

haha

[therealscout 9]

The proofs init.

[BIG E 752]

Id change the name of your topic mate sounds like the title of a porn film you might get a few of the lads on here excited lol

[BIG E 752]

you could always change it too a free roll of felt

[jerry attrick 264]

‘Twas always a bone of contention
twixt Yorkshire and Lancashire folk
As to who made the greatest black pudding
for each thought the others a joke.

So Albert a proud a proud Higginbottom
determined to end this empasse
Threw down a challenge to Yorkshire
the prize being a Lancashire lass.

‘Have you taken leave of your senses?'
his father quite worried enquired
‘I intend to settle this once and for all'
replied Albert now duly inspired.

‘They've nowt like our lasses in Yorkshire
they'll jump at the chance just you see
I'll show them what real women look like
and just how black puddings should be.

Now just across't Pennines in Yorkshire
having nicely just watered his veg
A champion black pudding maker
called Percy was trimming his hedge.

‘Hello Mr Routledge' said Tommy
said a young Yorkshire lad passing by
‘They're having a black pudding contest
I thought you might give it a try.'

‘A black pudding contest you say lad
why not I've tried most things to date
And when it comes down to the pride of our county
me veggies'll just have to wait.'

So Percy set too with a vengeance
ingredients just had to be right
The recipe he would be using
had been handed down ad infinite.

Pig's blood arrived by the truckload
donated by folk far and wide
Some things are known to be sacred tha' knows
such as Yorkshire black puddings and pride.

Three days the blood stood congealing
maturing it had to be right
And in case of Lancastrian cheating
it ‘wor guarded by day and by night.

Adjustments were made to the heating
to coax the pig's blood into curd
The recipe called for consistency
shaken then evenly stirred.

You can't just expect instant success
like a patient it has to be nursed
Ask any good black pudding maker
he'll tell you how many he's cursed.

Then you wake up one morning and bingo
you've cracked it you know you can tell
If you've ‘owt like a nose for black puddings
you'll know by that very first smell.

Soon came the day of the contest
the puddings arrived in some style
Some said the best one was Percy's
and that it would win by a mile.

Others said Albert's would triumph
you could tell by it's colour and text
‘A masterpiece' said Albert's brother
‘garbage' said Tommy what next?

Tommy was there with his mother
Yorkshire she was born and bred
‘It has to be one or the other' said Tommy
‘makes sense our Thomas' she said.

The time for the sampling drew nearer
the judges arrived in't marquee
A huge crowd from both sides of't Pennines
all wondered who't winner would be.

A deathly hush soon then descended
the huge crowd fell silent as first...
The judges devoured with some relish
Albert's pudding... the crowd feared the worst.

‘Eeh reet grand our Albert it's champion'
said one judge but summat ‘wor wrong
For he spoke wi' a Lancashire accent
and he sang an old Gracie Fields song.

‘Sally Sally pride of our alley'
‘it's a fiddle' young Tommy he cried
‘They're as bent as that bloomin' black pudding of theirs'
and it seemed he had't crowd on his side.

For although partisan they spurned cheating
they knew Percy's prize had been pinched
And if they'd not been escorted from't marquee just then
the lot of ‘em might have been lynched.

Now the story has two happy endings
for the Lancashire lass it turned out
Had been born on the wrong side of't Pennines
she ‘wor Yorkshire there seemed little doubt.

For the first words she spoke when they asked her
as to where she was from and all that
Were spoke in a broad Yorkshire accent
‘ah's from Ilkley tha' knows Moor Ba Tat.

Needles to say that the contest
was now finished with over and done
The Lancashire pudding was chucked out
Percy's black pudding had won.

Now the lass took a shine to young Tommy
and proposed to him there on the spot
And just like old Percy's black pudding
she was rather dark spicy and hot.

And wouldn't you know years later
she married young Tommy tha' knows
And they later gave birth to a daughter
a bonny young white Yorkshire Rose.

Now the moral of this story is simple
when it comes to black puddings and pride
Yorkshire or Lancashire and which is the best
I'm afraid that's for you to decide.