Childhood Stories Hunting/countryside Related

[johnny boy68 11,726]

 

I was 8 when I started ferreting, brought up in a south Derbyshire village. By the time I was 11 there was a few of us going,anyway I met this lad from the next village when I moved up to secondary school. He was a right comedian, his name was Fred, that was funny for a start as in them days everybody was called Michael, John, Stewart or Christopher. That and the fact that on the first day at secondary school he was the only kid, ever to turn up in short trousers! Made him a laughing stock from the start. Fred wanted to come ferreting with me and a couple of mates, so we went to do some local railway banks, now Fred being Fred had to do some brook jumping on the way. The inevitable happened and he ended up with wet feet! I've had a brainwave said Fred! if I put my socks on the railway line, the weight of the train will wring them out so well, they'll be dry! We thought the idea daft and that it was doomed to fail, but Fred insisted he would prove us wrong. So , nice and neatly went the socks on the line, we waited and waited........and waited! no train so we started to head home, Fred had no sooner retrieved his socks, when , you've guessed it! we heard the train coming, so we all ran back, Fred hastily slapped his wet socks on the line, we got there just in time to see the first set of wheels go over Fred's socks! We never found out if they were dry or not because they stuck to the wheel and f****d off with the train, never to be seen again!

.......

Heres a fishing one for you Malt.....hope its true. I also come from a small mining village and in many of the pubs they had wee clubs and such. Well one of the clubs was a fishing one. So the story goes theres a group of guys out on the boat.....one of the older lads hooks a fish and fighting with it reeling it in his false teeth fell out and went overboard. All the guys on the boat are in f*****g stitches. A while later another guy hooks and lands a fish and for a joke takes out his false teeth and sticks it in the fishes mouth and says "Would you believe it, this fish has your teeth in its mooth!!!".................In the blink of an eye the old guy grabs the teeth and puts them in his mouth...not a second goes by when he takes them out and launches them out in to the water saying "there no ma f*****g teeth!!!",.....

:laugh:

[scothunter 12,609]

 

I was 8 when I started ferreting, brought up in a south Derbyshire village. By the time I was 11 there was a few of us going,anyway I met this lad from the next village when I moved up to secondary school. He was a right comedian, his name was Fred, that was funny for a start as in them days everybody was called Michael, John, Stewart or Christopher. That and the fact that on the first day at secondary school he was the only kid, ever to turn up in short trousers! Made him a laughing stock from the start. Fred wanted to come ferreting with me and a couple of mates, so we went to do some local railway banks, now Fred being Fred had to do some brook jumping on the way. The inevitable happened and he ended up with wet feet! I've had a brainwave said Fred! if I put my socks on the railway line, the weight of the train will wring them out so well, they'll be dry! We thought the idea daft and that it was doomed to fail, but Fred insisted he would prove us wrong. So , nice and neatly went the socks on the line, we waited and waited........and waited! no train so we started to head home, Fred had no sooner retrieved his socks, when , you've guessed it! we heard the train coming, so we all ran back, Fred hastily slapped his wet socks on the line, we got there just in time to see the first set of wheels go over Fred's socks! We never found out if they were dry or not because they stuck to the wheel and f****d off with the train, never to be seen again!

.......

Heres a fishing one for you Malt.....hope its true. I also come from a small mining village and in many of the pubs they had wee clubs and such. Well one of the clubs was a fishing one. So the story goes theres a group of guys out on the boat.....one of the older lads hooks a fish and fighting with it reeling it in his false teeth fell out and went overboard. All the guys on the boat are in f*****g stitches. A while later another guy hooks and lands a fish and for a joke takes out his false teeth and sticks it in the fishes mouth and says "Would you believe it, this fish has your teeth in its mooth!!!".................In the blink of an eye the old guy grabs the teeth and puts them in his mouth...not a second goes by when he takes them out and launches them out in to the water saying "there no ma f*****g teeth!!!",.....

bollocks lol

[Malt 379]

 

I was 8 when I started ferreting, brought up in a south Derbyshire village. By the time I was 11 there was a few of us going,anyway I met this lad from the next village when I moved up to secondary school. He was a right comedian, his name was Fred, that was funny for a start as in them days everybody was called Michael, John, Stewart or Christopher. That and the fact that on the first day at secondary school he was the only kid, ever to turn up in short trousers! Made him a laughing stock from the start. Fred wanted to come ferreting with me and a couple of mates, so we went to do some local railway banks, now Fred being Fred had to do some brook jumping on the way. The inevitable happened and he ended up with wet feet! I've had a brainwave said Fred! if I put my socks on the railway line, the weight of the train will wring them out so well, they'll be dry! We thought the idea daft and that it was doomed to fail, but Fred insisted he would prove us wrong. So , nice and neatly went the socks on the line, we waited and waited........and waited! no train so we started to head home, Fred had no sooner retrieved his socks, when , you've guessed it! we heard the train coming, so we all ran back, Fred hastily slapped his wet socks on the line, we got there just in time to see the first set of wheels go over Fred's socks! We never found out if they were dry or not because they stuck to the wheel and f****d off with the train, never to be seen again!

.......

Heres a fishing one for you Malt.....hope its true. I also come from a small mining village and in many of the pubs they had wee clubs and such. Well one of the clubs was a fishing one. So the story goes theres a group of guys out on the boat.....one of the older lads hooks a fish and fighting with it reeling it in his false teeth fell out and went overboard. All the guys on the boat are in f*****g stitches. A while later another guy hooks and lands a fish and for a joke takes out his false teeth and sticks it in the fishes mouth and says "Would you believe it, this fish has your teeth in its mooth!!!".................In the blink of an eye the old guy grabs the teeth and puts them in his mouth...not a second goes by when he takes them out and launches them out in to the water saying "there no ma f*****g teeth!!!",.....

[Lab 10,979]

 

 

I was 8 when I started ferreting, brought up in a south Derbyshire village. By the time I was 11 there was a few of us going,anyway I met this lad from the next village when I moved up to secondary school. He was a right comedian, his name was Fred, that was funny for a start as in them days everybody was called Michael, John, Stewart or Christopher. That and the fact that on the first day at secondary school he was the only kid, ever to turn up in short trousers! Made him a laughing stock from the start. Fred wanted to come ferreting with me and a couple of mates, so we went to do some local railway banks, now Fred being Fred had to do some brook jumping on the way. The inevitable happened and he ended up with wet feet! I've had a brainwave said Fred! if I put my socks on the railway line, the weight of the train will wring them out so well, they'll be dry! We thought the idea daft and that it was doomed to fail, but Fred insisted he would prove us wrong. So , nice and neatly went the socks on the line, we waited and waited........and waited! no train so we started to head home, Fred had no sooner retrieved his socks, when , you've guessed it! we heard the train coming, so we all ran back, Fred hastily slapped his wet socks on the line, we got there just in time to see the first set of wheels go over Fred's socks! We never found out if they were dry or not because they stuck to the wheel and f****d off with the train, never to be seen again!

.......

Heres a fishing one for you Malt.....hope its true. I also come from a small mining village and in many of the pubs they had wee clubs and such. Well one of the clubs was a fishing one. So the story goes theres a group of guys out on the boat.....one of the older lads hooks a fish and fighting with it reeling it in his false teeth fell out and went overboard. All the guys on the boat are in f*****g stitches. A while later another guy hooks and lands a fish and for a joke takes out his false teeth and sticks it in the fishes mouth and says "Would you believe it, this fish has your teeth in its mooth!!!".................In the blink of an eye the old guy grabs the teeth and puts them in his mouth...not a second goes by when he takes them out and launches them out in to the water saying "there no ma f*****g teeth!!!",.....

bollocks lol

Aye no mate it does sound like a made up one.....really hope it happened and it hasnt been made to sound a bit better. Mind a come fae a rough wee fife village so anything could be possible...

[Malt 379]

 

Aye no mate it does sound like a made up one.....really hope it happened and it hasnt been made to sound a bit better. Mind a come fae a rough wee fife village so anything could be possible...

Do they call false teeth 'wallies' round your way mate? Cracked me up the first time I heard that!

[Lab 10,979]

 

 

Aye no mate it does sound like a made up one.....really hope it happened and it hasnt been made to sound a bit better. Mind a come fae a rough wee fife village so anything could be possible...

Do they call false teeth 'wallies' round your way mate? Cracked me up the first time I heard that!

.......Ermm nope. If you tried saying you had a "pair of wallies in yer mooth" around my way you better have your f***ing trainers on.....

[scothunter 12,609]

ive heard the expression wallies for false teeth lol

[NEWKID 27,691]

I've put this one up before so sorry if you've read it

 

There was a section of railway banking which backed onto a couple of fieds we used to lamp and ferret as kids, the banks were full of holes and it was too much temptation not to jump the fence and try the ferrets.

There was 2 of us me and my mate Jason, my whippet x ..Hagler.. ( oh he was some hard dog ) and Jasons Dads ancient Jack Russel ( he was stone death and possibly nearly blind)... We set the few purse nets we owned and the big hob ferret flew in and the fun began, thumping and rabbits bolting, missing nets, dogs on the lines, ferret popping up either side of the lines, it was the type of carnage you'd expect from a couple of kids having a go at a railway bank...Then it went wrong, we saw a train coming from a long way off so I grabbed my dog and pulled it into the hedge, Jasons russel went awol, and was oblivious to Jasons shouts, as the train grew closer Jason was still on the side of the tracks ( this is on the Exeter to Exmouth line, not very busy and only smallish trains) the driver pulled his window down and shouted at us to get off the tracks.... Jason done what all 13 year old boys would do and stuck up his finger, with a loud "F**K Off"... nice... the train then slowed down and stopped, I was off accross the fields and into the bushes, from my view point I could see Jason running away from the train along the railway lines ... The train was backing up the line and then stopped, what I couldn't see was the deaf and short sighted terrier had ran to the train driver, he was now holding the terrier and telling Jason if you want your dog back you'd better come with me, Jason had no choice but to get on the train... all I could see was my mate climbing onto the train and it pulling off to continue it's journey... shit I thought.

When Jason got on the train he was made to do the walk of shame past a couple of carriages of disgruntled commuters, to the store at the back... He was taken to Exmouth train station where the police were wating for him, after a good telling off and a lesson on the dangers of railways they took him and that bloody dog home, another bollocking from his old man and his day was complete

It was an early lesson on dogs, if there blind and deaf there a liability

[johnny boy68 11,726]

Johnny, I'm sat here in a quiet office pissing myself laughing. That's a great story!

 

Were these mountains snow covered? Even in summer? Or did these tracks work some other way?

This sort of thing but a bit steeper and you'd have to sit on your cardboard.

[socks 32,253]

 

Johnny, I'm sat here in a quiet office pissing myself laughing. That's a great story!

 

Were these mountains snow covered? Even in summer? Or did these tracks work some other way?

This sort of thing but a bit steeper and you'd have to sit on your cardboard.

I think every valley lad has spent the summer doing the cardboard equivalent of a bobsleigh lol ... But the ultimate was an old mini bonnet ... Now you could proper go some on one of those ............

[albert64 1,882]

the old fecker i used to go ferreting with (rip mate) was a contrary t**t and hated being told anything

we'd been ferreting in the morning and we'd got a good bag of rabbits so drops the dogs and ferrets off a good clean and a feed then gets ready for the pub

we used to give the old lads in the pubs the rabbits , now we never charged but got the let me get you a pint

so we had beer on tap all day, this bloke comes over telling us how he goes ferreting and he'd of caught more, all the bollocks really

so we arrange a morning out that week so i gets to his and hes got about 20 chicken drumsticks in the oven ?

so when the door goes he puts the chicken on a plate and i let him in and he promptly tells him eat up weve had ours

so you could see him struggling but he eat the lot, so loads up and off we go this blokes got all the gear with him

we were going to a place thats hard going all uphill even worse coming down so now the penny drops about the chicken

and he gives me the wink

we get out of the van the old fecker grabs the ferret ties the money bag to his belt gets the bar tells me to get the graft

and shouts come on this blokes got a ferret box like a tea chest a postie bag brimming with nets and all the camo gear on

half way up he's struggling sweating like a pig and going green next thing he's spewing like a good un

the old boys face was a picture he was loving it,

so we get on with the ferreting and weve got a dig well this bloke wants to shine i'll dig he says

so there's soil going everywhere and the old boy looks at me as if to say whats he doing

any way he breaks threw and he's just off the rabbit, he says to the old boy does your ferret bite !!!!!!!

no he dont bite, now this ferret was a savage thing it'd let go of a rabbit to bite you

well in goes his hand and the ferret latched on the screems could be heard a long way off

in the end he gets the ferret off his hand and turns to the old boy and says

i thought you said your ferret dont bite

thats not my ferret came the reply

the old fecker

[gnasher16 30,591]

 

Johnny, I'm sat here in a quiet office pissing myself laughing. That's a great story!

 

Were these mountains snow covered? Even in summer? Or did these tracks work some other way?

Heres the mountain we used to slide down, if you look closely you can see the grooves in the mountain we would slide down and after a few days of kids sliding down they'd get really fast.

How long would it take from top to bottom and what sort of speed would you pick up......think my arse would drop out and id have to accidentally on purpose fall off the cardboard

[Lab 10,979]

 

 

Johnny, I'm sat here in a quiet office pissing myself laughing. That's a great story!

 

Were these mountains snow covered? Even in summer? Or did these tracks work some other way?

Heres the mountain we used to slide down, if you look closely you can see the grooves in the mountain we would slide down and after a few days of kids sliding down they'd get really fast.

How long would it take from top to bottom and what sort of speed would you pick up......think my arse would drop out and id have to accidentally on purpose fall off the cardboard

Well working it out on a power, weight and height ratio you'd be down in 3.7 secs........JB takes a fortnight......

[gnasher16 30,591]

Some blindin stories there chaps....im all out of likes

Certainly makes me feel a touch of envy if i had my time again id of grown up round these country places instead of that dump a good day in our childhood was not getting nicked or beaten up !...............Thanks for sharing your memories

[johnny boy68 11,726]

 

 

Johnny, I'm sat here in a quiet office pissing myself laughing. That's a great story!

 

Were these mountains snow covered? Even in summer? Or did these tracks work some other way?

Heres the mountain we used to slide down, if you look closely you can see the grooves in the mountain we would slide down and after a few days of kids sliding down they'd get really fast.

How long would it take from top to bottom and what sort of speed would you pick up......think my arse would drop out and id have to accidentally on purpose fall off the cardboard

Heres a vid that helps you gauge what it was like, not one of mine but you get the idea. I'm not sure how long it took gnash but I remember I think it was 1976 when we had that real hot summer then the sledge track was faster than I've ever known it and you'd feel like you was doing about 30 mph, you have grass burns down your legs and on your elbows.....great times.