B.P.R 2,798 Posted April 4, 2013 Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 Few from me.... Remember my old man telling me he had a 'master plan' to keep his grass trimmed. So of to wales we went and came back with2 pygmy goats.... he puts them in the back garden proud as punch with himself..... The fcking things ate EVERYTHING apart from the grass, the old man was fuming!!! and i remember he was on the phone to a guy bartering for a transit van... guys asking for a price...and my dads offering less.... goats are biting at his laces...'whats that' the guy on the phone asks....'fecking pygmy goats' my dad replies.... 'Oh, ive been looking for some of them to eat my grass' "Well these here will do you nicely' End up swapping the goats for the price difference... Another... My dad kept some sort of aivary parrots (dont ask me)....a stoat or something got in and killee them all apart from one. The old man put it up for sale and a guy drivesup from the south of england to buy it.... I put it in the cage and walk down the path with the bird, guys stood at his car looking chuffed. Right then the bird found a hole in the back of the cage and flies out, straight down the path toward the guy...whos ducking and diving out the way...... Gets to the car and the guys says 'wheres the bird kid?'...." its just flew past your"....... i just managed to get the 'your' out and felt a crack across the back of my head Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 27,622 Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) The "Hairy Hand" - a Dartmoor legend Come on now, Lara ..... Enquiring minds ..... It's made it onto Wikipedia It started in the early 1920's I think - hairy hands would grab steering wheels, handle bars, bridle reins etc and force you off the road, and scare you into running across the moor to your death.... Bear in mind that at the time, not one of the group of us had seen a building taller than the 4 storey Debenhams in Exeter, and " awlll roight moi lubber " was an acceptable greeting .... got to love Devon !Still scare the kids with The Hairy Hand now, was driving on the edge of Dartmoor a few months back, it was pitch black, the kids were in the back of the car and I started telling them how The Hairy Hand would attack cars and drag them off the road etc... With that I start flicking the lights on and off ... " stop it dad" their screaming " it's not me, it's the hairy hand" .. Then I start swerving about and juddering the car on the brakes " ahhhhh" I'm shouting "the hairy hands got control"... All the light off now and slowing to stop, the kids are going mad lol.. It's black as a cows guts when we stop on the edge of the moor.. Even my 14 year old is shitting it now... As we're stopped I reach back and grab my lads leg, that's the final straw.. Everyone screaming including me lol..Got to keep the myths and legends alive lol Edited April 5, 2013 by NEWKID 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 I still laugh to this day even thinking about it Remind me to look you up, next time I want some sympathy! it didnt end there between them 2 darren was always embarrassed about it that he blamed keith because it was his crips packet he slipped on, back in school we were lined up outside home economics waiting for class to start when keith saw darren walking towards us and shouts here comes the tidal wave but keith was leaning against the wall at an angle of about 35 degrees when darren sweeps his feet out from under him and shouts fcuk up river rat ya trampy fcuker, well keith nearly broke his back on the radiator on the way down we were all in stitches at this when keith got up in agony and shouts ya fcukin fat b*****d im gona knock your bollix in he was raging and walked to the door in temper n kicked the glass clean through ct the leg to bits and got in trouble for damaging school property. they were the days innocent times lol pmsl we went to an all boys school and it was a ball i remember me and steve pinnock were f***in about and we had this canadian p.e teacher and he thought he was the dogs b*****ks so he shouts us both out gives us the usuall how he;s going to make our lives a misery and how he thought it'd be me your just like your brothers, all the shite anyway he draws two circles on the black board at eye hieght and makes us stand on our tiptoes with our noses pressed in these circles, and he's telling the class how tough canadian lads are so after about ten minutes of me and steve pissing ourselves laughing he drags us both outside the class and starts poking us in the chest then he turns to steve telling him you think your tough dont you well steve was tough but he was just a nice lad but lets put it this way nobody f****d about with him so the teacher starts pushing him saying come on start with me, well it was all over in a blur before i knew it the teacher was a crumpled heap on the floor all you could hear was 34 lads cheering Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.