Born Hunter 17,832 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I've had to make important decisions but they always seem to be easy, it's just accepting the answer that might be hard. The hardest decisions to make are often the most trivial, lol. I've never had to make a decision like yours whippet, just speaking from my experience. It's probably no comfort, but I really don't think you can make the wrong decision here. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TWOTWOTHREE 152 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Be strong for the mrs n kids fella I guess mine was taking my lab to the vets to be put down the other week,5 year old such a loyal mate and worker he had a tumor on his face,he was fully aware of wat was going on,I just knew it was not ever going to get better,its still raw today,I spent more time with Sam than the mrs lol,every tine the gun comes out i feel it he should e with me,all the best for you and family 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lukey 1,621 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Well said whippet, heart goes out to you mate. My hardest decision was walking away from my daughter, ending the charade called a relationship with the ex. No where near yours but it was hard for me mate, still is. I do my bit financially though and see her as much as I can but its dented our relationship and that hurts. But as you say, you get on with it. Same for me mate stay with ex for the last 3 year of our 7 together for the sake of my son but I just wasn't happy, so walking away from her was the best thing iv done and from him the hardest thing ever!! But I see/get him all the time and gave him a wee bro(half) and sister on the way and he is over the moon mad about his wee bro. Was deffo the hardest thing I had to do. Whippet keep your chin up dude for the sake of the boys! And atb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I was once told that you should always try to do the right thing - if you don't know what that is, do something - but never do nothing. Probably not a lot to you though Whippet. Trust your heart,mate, and best of luck from the bottom of mine. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whippet 99 2,613 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 i was expecting the thread to go down this route but thanks for the kind replies...........i think sometimes you can have loved ones making your mind up or telling you how they want it.....before there health goes down hill....... i ve bitten me tongue a few times whilst talking to her family and paulas your right,..........they forget about every other considerations and can be selfish .......... but arent we all sellfish at times......................cheers amigos ,....... look after your love ones and make the effort as one day you may regret it......... 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paulus 26 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 i was expecting the thread to go down this route but thanks for the kind replies...........i think sometimes you can have loved ones making your mind up or telling you how they want it.....before there health goes down hill....... i ve bitten me tongue a few times whilst talking to her family and paulas your right,..........they forget about every other considerations and can be selfish .......... but arent we all sellfish at times......................cheers amigos ,....... look after your love ones and make the effort as one day you may regret it......... look after your family mate and do what your heart tells you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 What would Mrs Whippet chose? Would she want to be home and closest to her nearest and dearest? Would she prefer to stay out of the way and not put stress on the family? You surely know her best; you do for her what she cannot now do for herself. I've made what I thought were hard decisions in the past but nothing that compares to making an end of life decision for someone you never wanted to live without. Very sorry for the circumstances you're in. Wishing you and your family peace and comfort. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
byron 1,190 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 sorry about this lad..been thru it. bit back with my sister .. women love there homes,, well in my sisters case yes.. bring her home mate.. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coley_airgunner 14 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 This wasn't a hard decision at the time but the next day it became biggest regret my grandad died boxing day 06 and my dad invited me to go up Christmas day and I never went. Atb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whippet 99 2,613 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 ok here goes .we had her at home as it got to the stage that she was so uncomfortable that the nurses were being called out all the time to jab her.....it got to the stage that she couldnt move her legs and no one could touch them .........so she went to hospital to get scan as they thought the cancer may of been hitting a nerve in her spine........ in hope of radio therapy to ease her pain......they came out and said there is nothing they can do to help her condition (what a surprise). so we were refered to the hospice where after a while she can now move her legs and seems more settled and they told me they changed a few drugs but the pain relief is at the same amount now than when she come in ,.to our surprise...........heres the hardest part ,..........i know shell would want to be around familiar surroundings and her family and this is where its been so hard for me to make the decision ...........but i fear , the noise and care will aggitate her and make her the same as before ....... so i know she would want to come home but i feel it would make her very un comfortable,...........i mean the care in the community is nothing compared to the hospice ,......everything is there ..........and some of the carers in the community were appalling......... besides her brain isnt fully functional she knows who you are but when she talks its such random things sometimes ,.she has no short time memory and a vage long time one......so shes with us but shes not if you know what i mean........ bringing her home was besides me having false hopes and being together as a family again,.........isnt what is best for her even tho thats what she would of wanted but i dont want to put her through anymore suffering with transporting and the stress we might put her through and the inadequate care ............i hope you can understand .... her heart would want to be with us ,..........but she would suffer for it and i cant allow that.............cheers wayne 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Don't feel guilty - she can have the peace and quiet of a hospice, with the good care that goes with it, and the visits from family which will mean a lot to her - and your home life can start to adjust. You don't have to justify anything - there is no "right" option, just a " best of a fcuking bad lot" option Hugs. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bryson 562 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 i take my hat off to your sir Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paulus 26 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 ok here goes .we had her at home as it got to the stage that she was so uncomfortable that the nurses were being called out all the time to jab her.....it got to the stage that she couldnt move her legs and no one could touch them .........so she went to hospital to get scan as they thought the cancer may of been hitting a nerve in her spine........ in hope of radio therapy to ease her pain......they came out and said there is nothing they can do to help her condition (what a surprise). so we were refered to the hospice where after a while she can now move her legs and seems more settled and they told me they changed a few drugs but the pain relief is at the same amount now than when she come in ,.to our surprise...........heres the hardest part ,..........i know shell would want to be around familiar surroundings and her family and this is where its been so hard for me to make the decision ...........but i fear , the noise and care will aggitate her and make her the same as before ....... so i know she would want to come home but i feel it would make her very un comfortable,...........i mean the care in the community is nothing compared to the hospice ,......everything is there ..........and some of the carers in the community were appalling......... besides her brain isnt fully functional she knows who you are but when she talks its such random things sometimes ,.she has no short time memory and a vage long time one......so shes with us but shes not if you know what i mean........ bringing her home was besides me having false hopes and being together as a family again,.........isnt what is best for her even tho thats what she would of wanted but i dont want to put her through anymore suffering with transporting and the stress we might put her through and the inadequate care ............i hope you can understand .... her heart would want to be with us ,..........but she would suffer for it and i cant allow that.............cheers wayne This might sound selfish, but its far better to spend the last weeks/months as a compasionate husband,family. than it is to be a full time carer. all that extra stress makes a very bad time even worse. speaking from expierence you have made the correct decision. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whippet 99 2,613 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 ok here goes .we had her at home as it got to the stage that she was so uncomfortable that the nurses were being called out all the time to jab her.....it got to the stage that she couldnt move her legs and no one could touch them .........so she went to hospital to get scan as they thought the cancer may of been hitting a nerve in her spine........ in hope of radio therapy to ease her pain......they came out and said there is nothing they can do to help her condition (what a surprise). so we were refered to the hospice where after a while she can now move her legs and seems more settled and they told me they changed a few drugs but the pain relief is at the same amount now than when she come in ,.to our surprise...........heres the hardest part ,..........i know shell would want to be around familiar surroundings and her family and this is where its been so hard for me to make the decision ...........but i fear , the noise and care will aggitate her and make her the same as before ....... so i know she would want to come home but i feel it would make her very un comfortable,...........i mean the care in the community is nothing compared to the hospice ,......everything is there ..........and some of the carers in the community were appalling......... besides her brain isnt fully functional she knows who you are but when she talks its such random things sometimes ,.she has no short time memory and a vage long time one......so shes with us but shes not if you know what i mean........ bringing her home was besides me having false hopes and being together as a family again,.........isnt what is best for her even tho thats what she would of wanted but i dont want to put her through anymore suffering with transporting and the stress we might put her through and the inadequate care ............i hope you can understand .... her heart would want to be with us ,..........but she would suffer for it and i cant allow that.............cheers wayne This might sound selfish, but its far better to spend the last weeks/months as a compasionate husband,family. than it is to be a full time carer. all that extra stress makes a very bad time even worse. speaking from expierence you have made the correct decision. cheers pal Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Happy birthday mrs whippet best wishes . Jim Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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