Groverdog 0 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Just got this by email at work >>In the year 2007 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in >>England and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and >>over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build >>another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good >>humans." >> >>He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, "You have 6 months to build the > >>Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." >> >>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his >>yard - but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! >>Where is the Ark?" >> >>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed >>Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire >>Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim >>that I should have obtained planning permission for building the Ark >>in my garden because it is development of the site, even though in my >>view it is a temporary structure. We had to then go to appeal to the >>Secretary of State for a decision. >> >>Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the >>future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to >>clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the > >>sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. >> >>Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree >>Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special >>Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I >>tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save > >>the owls - but no go! >> >>When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted > >>that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the >>accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to >>put so many animals in a confined space. >> >>Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers >>Authority ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted >>an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying > >>to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how >>many disabled carpenter's I'm supposed to hire for my building team. >>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire >>only accredited workers with Ark-building experience. >> >>To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, >>claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered >>species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for > >>me to finish this Ark." >> >>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow >>stretched across the sky. >> >>Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to >>destroy the world?" >> >>"No," said the Lord. "The British government beat me to it." >> >> Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jultaylor1972 2 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Thats class!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferret15 0 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 :clapping: :clapping: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mole trapper 1,693 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Scarily real, if only it was just a joke. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bullterrier Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 I LIKE THAT ONE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Running 7 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 classic one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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