Grief

[Carraghs Gem 1,675]

 

 

 

 

I remember a keeper friend of mine lost his son in a car accident. I asked my grandad a while after about who was going to do the pheasants and his reply was "fucks sake it's been a week!!!". I suppose what I'm getting at is everyone is different and keeping busy and not sitting letting it fester on your mind is a good thing. My grandad is the person I have closest too and I miss just having a blether with him about hunting related stuff. But moping about doesn't bring people back but a quick glance at a photo now and again and a chat with a friend or relative about the good times you shared is always good. Chin up!!!!

 

Thing is theres always some c**t who feels they have to remind you about it the minute you step out of your house, for about a year after we lost our kid i had strangers and people coming up to me in the street, in the supermarket, nulu in the pub offering condolences for our loss if i wasnt so mentally distraught id have knocked their f***ing teeth in. Was bad enough being at home surrounded by constant memorys but couldnt go out either because those wankers wouldnt f**k off and leave me alone... Moved house in the end.

tough one gem but i`d sooner people say something than nothing had so many people cross the road to avoid having to speak to me it started to piss me off ..

id rather they crossed the road. 1 example.. new years eve... Was out trying to enjoy myself and some prick i didnt know from adam saw me and thought it a great idea to come over and start babbling about how sorry she was for my loss blah blah blah... Ruined my night i had 1 drink and went home.

i ended up depressed and afraid to leave the house.

[scothunter 12,609]

i used to avoid all that stuff,as i have a weird sense of humour. its when you see folk and you make the mistake of saying,how you been.than you get "oh i just buried my father/mother last week" i always had this mental picture of them out there with a spade lol

 

another time i had the misfortune of being in this c**ts house.i swear you could have stirred the place with a stick.i have never seen a f***ing shitehole like it.i was standing there disgusted at the state of the place.and then he said i we just buried my dad yesterday,i couldnt help myself."where abouts?,in f***ing here"! lol

[tb25 4,627]

[gnasher16 30,220]

I dont buy all this " move on and get over it " bollocks......................if you dont grieve you paper over the cracks and it catches up with you sooner or later.....................the few times ive had to grieve i met it head on and took the time to cry/swear/shout etc and got it out my system instead of doing the toughman thing and carrying on with life as normal..........some things never leave you but grieving is a process you cant push to the back of your mind in my opinion...........but i guess we,re all made different.

[the_stig 6,614]

I dont buy all this " move on and get over it " bollocks......................if you dont grieve you paper over the cracks and it catches up with you sooner or later.....................the few times ive had to grieve i met it head on and took the time to cry/swear/shout etc and got it out my system instead of doing the toughman thing and carrying on with life as normal..........some things never leave you but grieving is a process you cant push to the back of your mind in my opinion...........but i guess we,re all made different.

are you refering to my move on comment gnash ?

[Born Hunter 17,783]

Don't mean to sound a soft c**t but it's times like this when it's good to have a female about. I can't/don't want to expose my emotions to anyone, but a good woman makes shit like this a lot easier. Whether a friend, something a bit more serious or ya life partner. Better to talk and/or cry or whatever than burry it and make a daft decision that changes your life on the back of raw undealt with emotion.

 

It's a bitch but there comes a point when ya just grit ya teeth and say, that's it I've had enough of feeling like this.....

[gnasher16 30,220]

 

I dont buy all this " move on and get over it " bollocks......................if you dont grieve you paper over the cracks and it catches up with you sooner or later.....................the few times ive had to grieve i met it head on and took the time to cry/swear/shout etc and got it out my system instead of doing the toughman thing and carrying on with life as normal..........some things never leave you but grieving is a process you cant push to the back of your mind in my opinion...........but i guess we,re all made different.

are you refering to my move on comment gnash ?

I wasnt aware you even said it.....................but if you did,then thats certainly not for me but like i say......we.re all made different.

[the_stig 6,614]

 

 

I dont buy all this " move on and get over it " bollocks......................if you dont grieve you paper over the cracks and it catches up with you sooner or later.....................the few times ive had to grieve i met it head on and took the time to cry/swear/shout etc and got it out my system instead of doing the toughman thing and carrying on with life as normal..........some things never leave you but grieving is a process you cant push to the back of your mind in my opinion...........but i guess we,re all made different.

are you refering to my move on comment gnash ?

I wasnt aware you even said it.....................but if you did,then thats certainly not for me but like i say......we.re all made different.

i did say it but in a whole differant way .... for me it was a case of giving myself a shake and moving on lost a lot of people close together and it was starting to mess with my head ...

[South hams hunter 8,924]

I dont buy all this " move on and get over it " bollocks......................if you dont grieve you paper over the cracks and it catches up with you sooner or later.....................the few times ive had to grieve i met it head on and took the time to cry/swear/shout etc and got it out my system instead of doing the toughman thing and carrying on with life as normal..........some things never leave you but grieving is a process you cant push to the back of your mind in my opinion...........but i guess we,re all made different.

i know exactly what you mean gnasher i tried it both times when i lost my grandfathers but found when i did finally sit down the grief was alot worse and was only recently that ive been able to start listening to the songs played at there funerals

[Attack Fell Terrier 864]

Like has been said everyone has their own way of dealing with grief the best they can, some people struggle to cope with loss and it makes them ill. They simply cannot cope and are consumed by it. Some are able to take the smallest positive memories and are able to handle things relatively easily.

 

A friend of mine committed suicide not so long ago by walking out in front of a train. The only way hey could identify him was by his finger prints. I often think about him and think how that decision he made to kill himself was just a massive mistake that he obviously can't make better or reverse, which is frustrating for me.

 

I had a dream last night that I was talking to him on the phone and I was shouting at him, telling him how out of order he was for leaving his friends and his family the way he had, the grief and pain it's left us with.

 

Pretty weird really, especially now this thread has been put up.

[gnasher16 30,220]

And i think grief can be in many forms as well not just death..............how many blokes will admit they,ve grieved over a bird who f****d them off i know i have ...well first wife anyway................or indeed any big dissapointment its still grieving.......

Think i might start a Dear Deirdrie column

[scothunter 12,609]

lost my dad when i was young,had a cpl mates top themselfs one murdered,and few in accidents.had a girl die in my arms.me personally it just makes me all the more sure,that your life can be snatched away in the blink of an eye.so i dont dwell on that to much if im honest.ill be pretty upset when my maw goes,but she will one day its a fore gone conclusion,and like my dads passing ill get over it,and continue my life until the day i check out.

[scothunter 12,609]

And i think grief can be in many forms as well not just death..............how many blokes will admit they,ve grieved over a bird who f****d them off i know i have ...well first wife anyway................or indeed any big dissapointment its still grieving.......

Think i might start a Dear Deirdrie column

dunno about a bird,but i shed more tears when i got my dog pts,than i did with my old man died lol

[gnasher16 30,220]

 

And i think grief can be in many forms as well not just death..............how many blokes will admit they,ve grieved over a bird who f****d them off i know i have ...well first wife anyway................or indeed any big dissapointment its still grieving.......

Think i might start a Dear Deirdrie column

dunno about a bird,but i shed more tears when i got my dog pts,than i did with my old man died lol

I say bird....but she did f**k off with the kids ......so i aint that soft to cry JUST for a treacle .................dont know what im laughing at !!

[TUFFTY 1,476]

Dear Gnash,

 

I dont know where to start of really,