baw 4,360 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 It was really cold on the bus. Both wilf and Johnnyboy got their tongues stuck to the windows. Lab got his stuck to, trying to lick free wilfs tongue. Rfyl got his stuck on Stan's head..... Gnasher was like a big kid, wanting to drive the bus. Tomo was silent for once just staring at mark brick. Not gem and skycat hit it off instantly.... Shunning all the guys and snogging each other near the back. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnny boy68 11,726 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid 935 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 While the ladys warmed each other up on the back seat, the driver, too occupied by his rear view mirror didn't see the collie cross in the road and hit it, Baw screamed! an pulled the emergency stop, everyone landed in a huge pile at the front, christmas had cum early for lab, but he didnt mind, he just used one of tomos wet wipes to clean it up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid 935 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 lol i see tomo is finally reading this now must have something in the oven (gas mark 5/30 mins) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chartpolski 23,498 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 The bus pulled into what appeared to be a Hermits lodge, it was empty; but from out the back, they could hear the rattling of a badge covered hat, and the swirl of a kilt, and the muttering of ancient scottish curses; they had stumbled on the abode of the ancient scottish hermit FOXGUN TOM !!! Skycats Airdales instantly attacked his sporran, causing such a wild outpouring of venamous curses that they quickly re-boarded the bus and beat a hasty retreat leaving the hermit in his self imposed exile ......... Cheers. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 26,135 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 A Christmas tale The 3 wise men, Baw, Lab and Tomo decided to walk the west highland way 4 days before Christmas. Baw had his mates 3/4 collie cross, Lab had his over weight lab and Tomo never brought a dog since he thought hunting was cruel after his recent episode releasing a fox from a fence. They were planning to spend Christmas in Fort William so time was of the essence. In Baws rucksack was meal for the dog, knife, otter boards, a change of clothes, sleeping bag and a one man tent. He was relying on the lurcher providing food. Lab had worryingly a 3 man tent, tins of chum, 39 mars bars, a pair of wire cutters, mirror, clothes, Vaseline, rope, bottle of chloroform, pillow, king size air bed, double sleeping bag and gay porn mags. Tomo had a pair of wire cutters, a months supply of fairy cakes he'd made fresh that morning, (gas mark 5, 30 minutes), rolling pin, hair net, tweezers, lip gloss, tampon, no clothes apart from several balcony bras, Collins book on flowers and a signed photo of Mark Brick. They all met up at milngavie and off they went. 30 minutes in lab wanted to set up camp for the night and Tomo was leaving a trail of paper cups from his fairy cakes incase they got lost. First fence and baws dog jumped it majestically. Tomo cut the fence down to the bottom wire for labs dog, fortunately, after a struggle the 3 wise men managed to lift the lab over it. As they reached Loch Lomond darkness soon came so they found a good spot by the shore to set camp. Baw caught several trout boarding which he cooked on the fire and shared with his dog and Lab. Tomo had turned vegetarian so eat his fairy cakes(gas mark 5, 30 mins). Soon the talk got around to the sleeping arrangements. Lab was excited at this pleading they all share his tent for warmth. Baw declared he was fine in his tent and Tomo wasn't keen to share labs tent so decided he'd sleep beneath the stars. Just as they were about to settle down baws dogs ears pricked up, he heard a noise. A low growl from the pit of his belly pierced the night air..... Labs dog disappeared into the tent, hiding under the king size air bed. Out of the darkness loomed the shadow of a man......wearing a claret and blue scarf whistling I'm forever blowing bubbles...... It was f*****g Gnasher on one of his survival weeks!!! Lab was pleased as the bulge in his cords got bigger. Being a southern softy, Gnash jumped at the chance of sharing Labs tent, so they all snuggled down for a long night ahead. To be continued...... Feel free to add a paragraph or 7 lol, try keeping it going till Christmas see where we end up. Must add atleast a paragraph Only just found this,,, funny as feck...lol, got to go back now and read all 8 pages,,,,, you got some imagination baw 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 The collie cross made of strong stuff was uninjured. Unfortunately the bus was a right off. A little walk and they were in Blair Drummond safari park. It was closed for the winter. Tomo got his wire cutters out, within seconds he had cut a 12ft square hole in the fence just big enough for him to squeeze through..... Looking around as they walked they could see large trees with claw marks. Johnnyboy being an expert on large cats declared they were made by the Scottish wild cat. Further on they walked till they froze still.... Face to face with a pack of lions!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 Pmsl tomo enjoy the read, your in it a lot Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 Pmsl chartopski too quick again lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid 935 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 Mark brick whipped out his hair spray, and he and Tomo set to work on the lions mains ! In no time the lions were looking rather dapper, and let the rag tag team pass unmolested. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 Lmfao paid, seriously f*****g doubled here f*****g belter lad Quote Link to post Share on other sites
undisputed 1,664 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 Things were going ok until MB challenged chart to a match for a £1000. The guys had a quick whip round and raised almost £7.50 . Not having any lamps both used the lights from their mobiles. After 3 runs chart had 2 bunnies and MB had 1. MB started call him a cheat and refused to go any further and turned back. Unfortunately the battery died on his phone and he fell over a cliff. Meanwhile back at camp 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chartpolski 23,498 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 (edited) The motely crew pressed ever onwards, and in the distance espied what appeared to be a clapped out volvo surrounded by a wild looking tribe accompanied by huge savage looking dogs. As they got nearer they were greeted by the words "AREET MARRA" ! They had stumbled across the Fuji Tribe, who were on there summer vacation !! (OK, it's winter, but all seasons are the same in West Cumbria) !! They offered the weary travellers sustenance, but said they must leave before the return of the fearsome "Minshaw Man", as he would want to fight them all, or at least have a match with Skycats Airedales........... Cheers. Edited December 22, 2012 by chartpolski 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
storm323 191 Posted December 22, 2012 Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 I haven't laughed so much in a long while very funny Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2012 f*****g brilliant. Keep it going Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.