Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 So, three of my Dogs sleep in my bed with me. They all have their special places too. Orange Dog sleeps in my arms. Pup down at my feet. Small Dog likes to slip in behind my knees. All of us perfectly happy and warm. No one really stirs much till time to get up. Only today I did remember feeling Small Dog getting back under the quilt after obviously having gone off outside for some errand or other. It was a bit aggravating as it rather disturbed the rest of us, except Orange Dog, who sleeps like the truly just But, like ye do, I got over it and went back to what I'd been doing. No problemmo. Not time to get up yet and I'd been at this thing till well past dawn. Later, it happened again! That damn Small Dog (she's my JRT, by the way) was again disrupting everyone by humping about and generally dragging the quilt askew. I became swiftly aware of that much. But I felt there was something more. I lay there, brow furrowing as I reached out with my senses. I couldn't see anything. Just a bumping beneath the quilt. I couldn't hear any noise that gave me cause for concern or that would merit investigation. Then it hit me. The Smell! What the f*ck was she up to in there that was causing that awfull and quite unplacable stench, for chrissake? As I lifted her side of the quilt to peer under, the stench hit me like a train. I lifted the quilt further and saw ..... You have Never ~ nor would you wish to! ~ seen a skinny old man rip away his quilt and erupt from his bed the way I did today! It's a wonder I never broke myself, speed I shot off that f*cking alter of Small Dogs slaughter and destruction! The bottom sheet was stained with juices. There were small gobbets of christ knows what, smeared and adhereing. But probably what got to me the most were the chewed, spat out and left there - next to my skin - wing feathers! :sick: That dirty little shit had woke up. Decided to go out for a sneaky hunt. And had managed to capture some unfortunate bloody bird! Then she'd blythley returned with her prize to what she considers the communal denning space and had settled down to devour the f*cking thing. Right there in my bed! With ME still in it! F*cking revolting little Dog! So; Yes. The bedding went in the washing machine. Yes. I'm now sitting here, scrubbed from top to toe. And Yes, you damn betcha; That f*cking door's shut and will be remaining so till I get up tomorrow! I've always half expected, one of these days, she'd have fetched a damn rat in. Somehow I just find chewed up birds even More revolting Quote Link to post Share on other sites
COMPO 54 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 cheered me up on a night duty She didn't do it on purpose, and i am sure she didn't mean to cause such strife, she was just being a dog, but it would piss me off, there is only one bird at a time in my bed Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferret15 0 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 i have a cat witch is excellent a mouse rat magpie and rabbit control every morning the is something on the back door step for the ferts, but when this cat was a kitten it went through a stage of bringing in slugs and leaving them on the kitchen floor so when you got to get a drink in the middle of the night you got a nice juicy slug between the toes :sick: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bosun11 537 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 Thats payback time for all them farts you been doin on her head DS !!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
COMPO 54 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 there is only one bird at a time in my bed Well i wouldn't complain if there was a couple.......... they would only argue both wanting me at the same time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 6,173 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 Oh lovely story! Yes, I can picture you leaping out of the bed at warp speed: just classic! Once again Ditch, you've brightened my day and made me laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bshadle 5 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 Ditch, you have to feed that poor dog more so it doesn't feel the need for a midnight snack. Otherwise you're going to wake up some morning and the stain will be from where it's gnawed of your foot. Good story there. Like to start the day with a grin. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greatwhitehunter 47 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 hahaha brillaint! maby it wanted to share it with you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pipey Magregor 0 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 My dogs got its own bed, wont let it on in mine no chance, infact I dont even let him in our bedroom. I've caught him in there a few times and he knows he's not meant to be in there because he'll chip straight for him bed when he knows he's been caught the little sh*t lol. We get on great and I love having him about but I think there has to be some boundaries set when it comes to this sort of thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martin 332 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 Brilliant DS,laughed my head off mate .But,it's funny how you expext people to look like their avatar,so,to envisage a skinny man took some imagination. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 thats made me spit tea everywhere Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ASME IX 1 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 lol, dogs are a mans best friend Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 Brilliant DS,laughed my head off mate .But,it's funny how you expext people to look like their avatar,so,to envisage a skinny man took some imagination. you dont surely look like that sweet little dog in yours do you ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RatSnatcher 0 Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 classic DS My mate ate a slug once for a packet of chips many moons ago, he said it took him days to get rid of the slime in his mouth Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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