Guest bob Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says. "You dirty b*****d!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband." The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off." She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!" Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it again. "One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now - what do you want?" "I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off, fill your pussy with Guinness and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup" The barmaid is furious at this extremely personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly. "What's up love?" he asks. "There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off", she says. "I'll kill him... where is he?" storms the Husband. "Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off" she screams. "Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching for a cricket bat. "Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny with Guinness and then drink it all" she cries! The husband puts down his bat, returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on. "Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically. "Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can drink 15 pints of Guinness..." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferret15 0 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SKINNER Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 feckin classic Quote Link to post Share on other sites
snoopdog 1,256 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 feck pmsl bob ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 just been sent this rof click here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest digdeep Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 great Quote Link to post Share on other sites
swamper 11 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 it wasnt you causeing trouble again swomps was it ??? lmfao Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tote 856 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 Have you heard about the new craze doing the rounds in the nightclubs? The men pour their drinks into their girlfriends knickers then sook it out with a straw The goverment have just announced a health warning about MINGE DRINKING Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferret15 0 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 just been sent this rof click here now thats what i call a flying rat Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SKINNER Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear "Have you ever been fuckedd?" The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No." She said "You will be when the tide comes in." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rip 0 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear "Have you ever been fuckedd?" The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No." She said "You will be when the tide comes in." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 like it........ lmfao Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mooster 1 Posted June 16, 2007 Report Share Posted June 16, 2007 How about this....An Englishman Irishman Scotsman and an Essex girl walk into a pub. The barman looks up and says....... "Is this some kind of a joke?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mooster 1 Posted June 17, 2007 Report Share Posted June 17, 2007 I'll get my coat! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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