unicornleather 60 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 (edited) Eventful morning yesterday, bit of a monologue but it should give you lot a laugh. Was going up to London for a hospital appointment yesterday morning, left the car and caught the train, usually the train is fast straight through with half a dozen stops to Victoria. Not this morning it seems, my appointment was for 10.30am and the train was really dawdling along, stopping outside stations hanging about etc. 2 stations later and my peace and quiet was shattered by the arrival of St Trinians, surrounded in every direction by 12 year old girls and a few brave boys is not my idea of fun, I mean how can children make THAT much noise? Luckily they abandoned ship at Clapham Common to go and deafen someone else. I was getting a bit anxious as I don't DO being late and time was getting on. Got to Victoria and pacing my way as fast as I could with stitches and a catheter in from an operation 4 weeks ago, across the station towards the tube. Now before I go any further, just be aware that I have 3 dogs, carry my own freshly made beef, liver or pork treats in my trouser pockets and am always upsetting other dog walkers when their dogs totally ignore them and latch onto me as they can smell the treats. I went to go down the area towards the tube station when I saw about 15 police officers lined up either side just hanging around, wondered who they were waiting for and carried on, then I realised I had a police drugs dog attached like a limpet to my left trouser pocket, so much so I nearly tripped over it, you can probably guess what's coming, suddenly a large hairy male officer said "excuse me sir, can we have a chat over here" It was now 10.06 and clock ticking to get to that appointment on time, my reply of "I know what the problem is, it's dog treats" was treated with even more suspicion and when I said becareful it you search me I have a catheter there pointing down my trousers they started laughing! So, searched in full view of joe public in Victoria station this morning making me even later than I was and when they found various dog poo bags in my pockets (thank god they were empty!)they realised I was probably telling the truth. It could have been worse as I didn't have any treats left in pockets but the dog could obviously still smell them, I usually carry small pieces of beef or liver cooked that look quite similar to "other" things which the police would be interested in and I keep them in resealable plastic bags which again I've been told that is how the druggies carry their stuff! So, thank god I didn't have any or I would never have got to that appointment. But it didn't end there, oh no, already 10 mins later I got to the hospital only to get stuck in the large revolving door at the front entrance as it came to a juddering halt! I've heard of being stuck in a lift but never a door! Finally got to the appointment late to have my catheter out only to be told, we want you to keep it in for another week so come back in 7 days, the appointment was for all of 4 mins! I avoided the door on the way out of the hospital and luckily the police had gone at Victoria as I didn't fancy a repeat performance and no St Trinians on the way home either. Roll on next week, wonder what I will face then! Was on the news this morning, police stepping up drug searches in London, yes don't I know it, hope I'm not on cops with cameras soon. Edited September 21, 2012 by unicornleather 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cleanspade 3,324 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 lmao. i look forward to next weeks episode Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nik_B 3,790 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 LOL brilliant I know how you feel about going to London I will do anything to avoid it. Good luck for the next trip Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 Good write up mate. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Hope your luck picks up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tegater 789 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 Great. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ruby16 80 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 GREAT READ MATE, ID TAKE THE THING OUT MYSELF AND F-CK THE NEXT APPOINTMENT. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeakOil 352 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 Given me a great idea for a laugh next time I have to get the train down to London. Dog snacks surreptitiously slipped in every bag, handbag and jacket pocket I can. One of my victims is bound to pass a drugs dog before my dastardly deed is discovered. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
unicornleather 60 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 GREAT READ MATE, ID TAKE THE THING OUT MYSELF AND F-CK THE NEXT APPOINTMENT. I have done in the past believe me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
unicornleather 60 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 Given me a great idea for a laugh next time I have to get the train down to London. Dog snacks surreptitiously slipped in every bag, handbag and jacket pocket I can. One of my victims is bound to pass a drugs dog before my dastardly deed is discovered. lol, now that is MY sort of humour!!! Stop making me laugh, it hurts! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 Given me a great idea for a laugh next time I have to get the train down to London. Dog snacks surreptitiously slipped in every bag, handbag and jacket pocket I can. One of my victims is bound to pass a drugs dog before my dastardly deed is discovered. lol, now that is MY sort of humour!!! Stop making me laugh, it hurts! I'd say i pissed myself laughing reading that but that would be out of order................ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sowhat 1,572 Posted September 21, 2012 Report Share Posted September 21, 2012 Great read mate, pmsl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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