christian71 3,187 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 I passed a stunning blonde on my way home through the park last night. "You're gorgeous!" I burst out. "Are you a model?" "Yeah," she smiled. "Buy the Daily Star and you'll see me on page 3." "Well, tomorrow," I replied, pulling a rope from my jacket. "You're gonna make the front page!" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 A blonde girl walked past Lab-tastic and his dad at the supermarket, labs dad turned and asked, "What would you give her son?" lab replied, "About 2 inches thanks to you, you c**t." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 I held the door open for a gorgeous blonde in the pub last night. My wife said, "You've never held the door open for me." I said, "f**k OFF What about the f*****g time you threatened to leave 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,119 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 go on youtube mate and type in blonde explains miles per hour. one of the dumbest blonde's ever :laugh: This one?? Love it!!!!! f*****g brilliant!! I just asked my girlfriend the same question and she said ? And that's an accountant!! No wonder halls at Broxburn went tits up!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 f*****g brilliant!! I just asked my girlfriend the same question and she said ? And that's an accountant!! No wonder halls at Broxburn went tits up!! I pitty you pal, all women beome f*****g accountants once you marry one and yours is qualified at it from the start! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 There's some crackers so far!! Cheered me up no end!! Thanks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tegater 789 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 two blondes walked into a building..... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it..! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skinner 348 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Q; What do blondes say after sex? A: "Thanks, guys!". Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp? A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way. Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks? A: Cos she's been laid all over the country. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer? A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet. Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes? A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends. ha ha best yet you dirty blond 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 A blonde is standing at a bus stop when a strong gust of wind blows up her dress and reveals she has no knickers on. A guy standing next to her spots this and sheepishly says "Airy isnt it?" "Well,what did you expect.....f*****g feathers??" What nursery rhymes do blondes learn as kids? Hump me, dump me Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 2 f*****g stone!!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MoChara 1,632 Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? A. Nothing, they haven't met! Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers? A: They can't keep their calves together! Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'? A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.' Q. Why do blondes wear underwear? A. To keep their ankles warm. Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A. So she can have a doggie bag for later. Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball. Q. What do a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common? A. They both have a black box. Edited September 11, 2012 by MoChara 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 how do you know a blondes been on your computer theres tipex all over the screen Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MoChara 1,632 Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen. Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week! Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common? A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one Q: What's the difference between a blonde on her back and a turtle on it's back? A: Absolutely Nothing - both are totally screwed! Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees? A: Come. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greatwhitehunter 47 Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 what do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? run because shes got a grenade in her mouth Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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